What, me worry?

Remembering

2010-06-20T00:24:00.002-04:00

The time comes to reflect on those who have come and gone in one's life.

Today is the anniversary of my sister Joyce's death. I've been thinking about her a lot lately.

There has been so much loss lately. Not necessarily people wise I just feel a sense of loss.

Not every year is like this, it's just particularly hard this year.

I always take a portion of this day and go to the cemetary to visit.
This is the poem I wrote in the days after she left us:

Happy Father's Day
Early in the morning
I have yet to rise
I hear car doors open and close
There are voices outside
People walking very fast
Judith comes running into her room
She climbs into her bed
Proceeds to cry.
I ask her what is wrong
She says I will find out when I get up
I am very confused
I decide to get up
I open the door to the hallway
It sits next to the front door
The front door opens and people enter
Firemen carrying a stretcher
They carry it onto the patio
I watch and see what Judith is crying about
Our sister's lifless body as they try to revive her
Her limp body being lifted onto the stretcher
They carry her away
Happy Father's Day.

It is Father's Day
They are taking her body away in an ambulence
My mother goes along
Dad is staying with us
He tells us as we rise
Where were we when she took her fatal swim
The extra sleep was not worth it
It is too late to worry about that
We all sit and wait
A policeman takes a statement from Dad
They look at all the conditions
They look to place blame
It is not our fault she could unlock doors
It is not our fault she rose early(or was it?)
The phone soon rings
I pick it up
Mom says, "She's gone"
Dad picks up the other phone
As if he hopes there is still a chance
He needs to hear again because he can't believe
Realization sets in
He sobs
It is the most awful sound I have ever heard.

I call some friends
They do not believe me until they see the news
How can I joke about that
The funeral is Tuesday night
We have to go see the body first
Privately we say good-bye
She looks like a doll
She feels like a doll
A beautiful doll in a liitle white box
I can't believe they make them that small
All I can do now is wonder why
Even my brothers cry
Father Michael comes to pray with us
He brought holy water and sprinkles her
He gives her her final shower
Together we are a family
It seems for the very last time because she's not alive
We are at the funeral now
The church is packed
There is not a dry eye in the church
Everyone keeps telling me that everything will be alright
How can they know
They are all stupid
They just want to make me smile
Don't they know she was the only light in my life?
It has not been a Happy Father's Day
Jessica-1993

It used to make me sad but now it is not crippling as it used to be. The whole event changed my life in such a way that I wasn't able to come to grips with until the last couple of years. I was unable to cope for much of high school and I believe in part I can attribute that to this one event. I think part of that made me angry at her, for dying. She was my purpose. At the time I wanted to take care of her after high school, after college. After she was gone, I had no plan. I never realized this was, partly why. Otherwise I didn't know what I wanted to do. But I never knew why I had no direction until much reflection and growing up I've forced on myself in the last few years. It's like a light went on and then I could finally let her go and stop blaming and start living.

She wasn't a cause, she was my sister. I should honor her as such. I don't think we talk about her enough. Some people were too young to remember her and how special she was. Anyway, she is loved and will always be missed.

Resident Evil Degeneration

2009-02-26T23:13:00.002-05:00

Let me preface this by saying I'm mostly doing this because I can't believe how long my latest Uwe Boll rant has stayed up. I've steered clear of his movies, trust me. It will still be a while. I still haven't gotten over "SEED."

Ok, flash back to when I first heard about them making a Resident Evil movie. I thought that would be pretty cool. I've loved Resident Evil from the first time I played Resident Evil 2. Have spent many hours playing or watching people play these games. So "Resident Evil" came out. Not really what I was hoping for in a movie. This first movie seemed to strip Resident Evil down to nothing more than another Zombie story. "Apocalypse" used a little more from the game but still not what a fan would want. (By fan I mean me, and everyone I've talked to about this.) "Extinction" was just plain ouch. I feel like this franchise was handed a product and they changed it to their liking with no regard to the masses of fans out there. Sure you have to change a few things but these changed too much, and didn't use enough. Resident Evil isn't just Zombies.

"Resident Evil Degeneration" brought me what I wanted, Claire and Leon back together. The CG is awesome. It is action packed and just what I wanted.

I don't really know what else to say. I can go on and on about movies I hate but this one I didn't. All I can think to say it was totally awesome. Oh, and Leon doesn't love Claire, He loves Ada!

A Uwe Boll Rant....SEED.

2008-12-26T21:24:00.003-05:00

I have long supported Uwe Boll. I'm a firm believer that people should find a career path that
makes them happy. You know, as long as what you are doing makes you happy. In his case, he can keep making movies that are not great. I know huge understatement! There will always be someone out there to watch them.

One problem with his movies usually is that he either under explains or over explains what is going on. Some movies underestimate the intelligence of their viewers. I hate that. I can usually figure out what is going on. If I can't figure it out then there is a problem.

A prime example of over explaining would be in "Bloodrayne" when we have watched the entire movie and then at the end we get a flashback of the entire movie. Of course, Rayne flashed back a lot in that movie, but I just watched the movie and saw all that stuff and then she's sitting there on the throne obviously reflecting then I get to watch the whole movie over again in her head. I can tell she's going over it, do I really have to see all of it again?

The best example I can think of that is the opposite is "Seed." It was just a mess, and it was just a mess, one minute they are watching tapes sent to them from a serial killer, the next they are going to his house and searching through a pitch black house for him with a very small force of sheriff's deputies and armed each with a gun and a flash light. Oh, did I mention they couldn't see? Well that's not the point. The point is that I had no idea how they figured out who or where he was.

Another problem is his movies seem to have poor casting. Tara Reid wasn't even convincing as a human being in "Alone in the Dark." How about Michael Madsen and Michelle Rodriguez in a movie set in medieval times "BloodRayne." Oh yeah, along those lines also Ray Liotta, Burt Reynolds and a lot of the cast of a Dungeon Siege tale. I can't speak on "Postal." I haven't seen it.

So, "Seed." What to say besides what I've said already. This movie is meant to show his critics that they are wrong and he can do a good job. What the result of this was he took everything that was fun about all his other movies and threw that out, kept all the bad stuff, and put alot of messed up really grisly scenes in that were unwatchable, even for me. I'll watch alot, it really takes something bad for me not to want to watch it. He brought overkill to a whole new level.

It starts off with some really disturbing scenes of what looks like actual footage of animals being cruelly tortured to death. I guess the serial killer is watching them? Then we see a cop having a nightmare that the serial killer got out of jail. What did they catch him? We see a guy in an electric chair and an annoying man complaining that he doesn't want to kill anyone else in that chair. Then we see the cops sitting around the tv watching footage shot by the serial killer. Then all of a sudden they know who he is go right to his house walk right in, more grisly scenes because they didn't have so much as a flood lamp and it was night time in the woods and raining. Then they execute him and the chair never got replaced and he didn't die and then. Oh well, I guess I won't give it all away. I didn't find the least bit believeable, what I understood, even though it was loosley based on actual events. That's the worst part.

I don't recomend it at all, or maybe watch it with your eyes closed. I don't suggest drug ingestion or alcohol use if and when you watch it either. I'm sure it wouldn't enhance the experience at all.

I'm done with this one. It was so disturbing that I'm thankful I did not watch it alone. When my sister fell asleep I turned it off and went to bed. It bothered me that much. Comments are as always welcome.

Contemplation

2008-11-04T18:19:00.003-05:00

I guess I've been thinking too much lately. Because I get asked so many questions. Like what are you doing with your life? Why aren't you married yet? When are you going to marry Jeff? When are you going to have kids? The first, I don't have a clue, I just play it by ear. The rest, what like it's my fault. But people ask because siblings are doing these things.

Honestly these questions just bum me out. It's not like I don't want any of these things. I don't want them right now. I'm not really in a place where these things would be convenient. Not that I think that they would be easier if I was completely debt free. Why I'm not is Jeff doesn't want to.

To understand why Jeff doesn't want to you have to know a little more about his background. He's an only child. When he grew up and got married. His father bankrupted the family not telling anyone they were in trouble, not even his wife. So you can imagine her surprise when the repo guys showed up and then they lost the house. So Jeff came back from West Lafayette to save the day. Got them an apartment and enrolled in IUPUI. (I'm not sure he technically got to graduate from Purdue. That part is murky. My mind is teaming with useless facts sometimes important info just falls out. But he may have had to grad from IU. Bummer for him.) Anyway, He got married and he and his wife lived with the parents. He and his wife were building a house. You know, you get married and start a life, they never did that. He always had his parents in tow. He and his wife moved downtown when the house was done and his parents moved into the house, and never left.

Ok, so Jeff was living the good life married, not living with his parents, they were in his house but taken care of. Then he gets blindsided by his wife. She told him something like, she didn't love him, never did, It wasn't her that married her, she didn't know herself and never would while they were still married. Sorry that's just a cruel thing to say even after she put up with his mom.

His ex-wife is a whole different issue, after everything I've heard about her, I can't even understand why he married her. I met her a few times when they were married. Jeff is the cousin of my sister Jennifer's Ex-husband David. She used to work at the I-Max and could get us in. I thought she was kind of self-involved. Not a single account of her has led me to think otherwise.
She's the reason he doesn't want to get married again. Imagine having the hopes and dreams of a newly-wed to be planning children, to watch your family grow and then to have someone just take that away. What because she didn't know who she was? If she didn't know that she shouldn't have gotten married. Just when he thought they were planning to have kids she left him.

So there he was, divorced and still taking care of his parents. He had a rebound relationship and then Jennifer and her then husband set us up. Then they got divorced. That was 1999? I don't know the dates are fuzzy now. We bonded sharing notes of peculiar things we had witnessed between David and Deanna, their supposed friend to whom David is now married.

Things between us were progressing nicely, I thought anyway, silly me. I thought we might be moving in the direction of marriage. When it got to the point in our relationship that we should talk about it, I mentioned our living arrangements, how I thought I'd just stay where I was until he wanted to live together and maybe got married. I had no idea he'd already decided never to get married and to never have kids. Isn't that the kind of thing he should say up front? I just kind of let it go back then. I thought about it and they weren't something important to me at the time. I thought one day he might feel differently as I might as well.

Now he's been supporting his parents for nearly 20 years. Normal people would see what a drain they are to their child. He's not really living but he won't talk about it. They hold him back. I confess there was a time when I looked at the situation and felt really secure, like he'd take care of me like that. But more and more I don't think it will ever be like that. He'll never take care of me because he'll always have them. Unless they stand up and take care of themselves or die. Not that I want them dead, just to let him live.

If I broach the subject he shuts down. So what do I do? I think I know why he is the way he is but he won't come to terms with it and I can't do it for him. The thing that makes me sad is I know if I decide I'm ready for the marriage and kids thing, it most likely won't be with him, even if by some chance of fate I should get pregnant with his child, who wants to be married to someone who doesn't want to be married, or have a child with someone who doesn't want kids?

Anyway that's where I am now. I apologize for yet another incoherent post.

Days of Darkness

2008-10-01T22:09:00.002-04:00

I once again browsed the horror movie section at Best Buy and found another gem, "Days of Darkness." Of course when I say gem I mean terrible terrible mistake. Not like Caverness mistake but mistake nonetheless.

What to say about a movie chalk full of soap opera actors and nobodys.
Well, it starts out like many Zombie flicks with people that are separated from society as a comet plumets to the earth. The two folks we start out with keep mentioning how dusty they are when they wake up to find themselves covered in dust. Space dust. They find their car really dusty. They mention the dust once more. By now it's glaringly obvious that something is up with the dust. Almost immediately they are attacked by, you guessed it, Zombies. Not just any kind of zombie, but space dust infested zombies.

As they are fighting off their attackers, a truck pulls up, conveniently and helps them out and tells them to follow him in their car. Because if you are fleeing zombie invested territory, it is best to flee in a convoy. Everyone knows that, it's in the ZOMBIE SURVIVAL GUIDE. Wait, no it's not, it doesn't say anything about a convoy. Sorry, I don't know what happened there. But they escape following truck guy to an eerily secure base. Yeah, like a bunker, or a cave....That's not familiar.

So let's see, not incredibly original there. Well, then it gets worse from there, there are some cool fight scenes then they figure out kind of what's going on. An alien life form came on the comet and used human bodies as a host. The definite message of this film is drinking alcohol is good for you, that's important in the film.

In conclusion because I'm just writing this to write it, this movie to me was a combination of "INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS," "NIGHT OF THE COMET," "DAY OF THE DEAD," and "GHOSTS OF MARS." Only not even remotely as much fun as any of them. The most fun it afforded was seeing Tom Eplin acting again but he was kind of a jerk in the movie and I just wasn't comfortable with that.

Black Christmas

2008-09-18T20:53:00.002-04:00

Here is one more movie remake in the already clogged world of horror movie remakes.
I don't think it's necessary to name them. My thoughts on the matter of remaking any movie, not just the classics, are that if you can't improve upon it, don't try. (Thank you very much PSYCHO remake!) However, this post isn't about remakes, it's about Black Christmas, which happens to be a remake.

To be fair, I haven't seen the original so I can't compare them. I had heard that this offering wasn't any better than the original. Worse actually. It was pretty bad. So bad I'll probably never watch it again. Not to many movies I can say that about, but there it is.

The story is about a bunch of sorority girls being stalked and killed by a crazy person. Real original idea right? There is the regular set up. You know, this one is mean, that one's a goody goody, over there is the misfit. The introduce them and make us care ruse. Hardly ever works, I just wanted the jerks to die. While they were introducing the less than memorable characters, they also decided it necessary to explain the back story through a series of ridiculous flashbacks in which there was the unnecessary use of cg. Something I hate. I'm just guessing though, I don't see any other way they could have made that kid's skin glow.

Que the violins, we have a tale of a family of three, they lived in the sorority house before it became a sorority house. The parents hated one another and the mother hated the son. .He was a freak that glowed green, who can blame her? So of course she cheated on her husband then with her lover killed her husband and buried him in the basement. Of course the son saw all. They chased the son to the attic. Then locked him up there for years and years it seems. Don't worry, in true B-movie fashion, he climbed up to the attic through the walls. I'm sure he was sneaking out of there to eat. So blah blah blah, gag me I almost threw up watching this movie, embarrassing but true, that hardly ever happens, but one thing led to another he killed his mom and her lover and got sent to a mental hospital. Now back to the present he escapes from the hospital and is coming home.

I know I was supposed to feel bad for all those people that died but for the most part I just couldn't care. I wish I could say I was drunk when I watched it, would have made it more entertaining. There was a twist even I didn't see coming but that doesn't make it cool.

Big, big let down, tremendous even, huge let down. It goes on the list of movies that thank gosh I didn't put any money down for it.

Maybe I should review something I like for a change, these bad movies can really depress me.

The Cavern

2008-09-13T16:56:00.002-04:00

That's right it's time for another totally unfocused stupid movie review.

So you know that movie "The Descent?" Well it's a great movie. But I'm not reviewing that movie here. "The Descent" is a great movie and highly plausible situation. "The Cave" is yet another caving movie that is better than "The Cavern." I didn't even like "The Cave," but it was better.

We start of on a caving expedition and it's kind of confusing what is going on but somehow they get out and before we know it they are starting another trip to another previously unknown cave system. Now there is this really long drawn out scene around a fire. This I can only assume is to introduce the characters and to get us to like them. It completely fails here. They also introduce the idea that one of them left people behind in a previous expedition.

The next day they finally go into the cavern. Of course there is a creature down there. And lots of fog for some reason. One can only assume that it is to cover up the fact that they are not in a cave.
Or somebody got a fog machine and really wanted to get their money's worth. So there was fog. Despite the fact that there probably wouldn't have been fog in the cave.

So eventually somebody presumably dies. The guy who allegedly left people behind left someone behind here. This is a big theme in this movie. If it looks like someone is in trouble leave them behind. One character thought caves were living things and if he just talked to the cave they would be fine. That didn't work, he got it too.

So pretty much everyone dies. We find out that it was some guy who's plane crashed when he was a kid so he's been fending for himself so he kills people and eats them. There were two girls on the expedition, guess what he did with them?

So I hated all the characters, even the cave dweller. It had bad effects. The camera was jumpy, for effect I guess, suspense? I don't know maybe they had a bad camera man. Whatever it almost gave me a headache from the sheer stupidity of the film. I'm so glad I didn't pay full price for that film.

Ranting......Outsourcing is from the Devil......

2008-09-08T17:53:00.003-04:00

Alright, so the last week or so I've been getting calls from Ameritech-Yellow Pages at work. That's who they say they are. Up until last Tuesday they asked for Jeff. Then I spoke to a guy, obviously in India, who kept asking me if I was authorized to confirm our company information and okay a payment to keep our listing going that's why he was calling me specifically. I kept telling him that I wasn't and he said he already spoke to all the other offices (my office is one of 2) of my company and my office was the last one to call and he needed authorization to continue the listing and was I authorized. I said no. He said, he already spoke to all the other offices of my company and my office was the last one to call and he needed authorization to continue the listing and was I authorized. I said no. He said, he already spoke to all the other offices of my company and my office was the last one to call and he needed authorization to continue the listing and was I authorized. I said no. He said, he already spoke to all the other offices of my company and my office was the last one to call and he needed authorization to continue the listing and was I authorized. I said no. He said, he already spoke to all the other offices of my company and my office was the last one to call and he needed authorization to continue the listing and was I authorized. I said no. He said, he already spoke to all the other offices of my company and my office was the last one to call and he needed authorization to continue the listing and was I authorized. I said no. He said, he already spoke to all the other offices of my company and my office was the last one to call and he needed authorization to continue the listing and was I authorized. Get the point here? I asked if they could call back for Jeff and see if he could help them. The guy said that was impossible, it was on auto-dial (hmmmm... auto-dial eh? He said he called all our offices and spoke to them and called me specifially......) and it had to be done now. I once again explained that any company listing or billing is done in our corporate office. He said, he already spoke to all the other offices of my company and my office was the last one to call and he needed authorization to continue the listing and was I authorized. I said no. By the billionth time I tried to explain to him any company listing or billing is done in our corporate office, I felt like my head was going to explode. Finally I gave up and said I was authorized. Then he asked if I had any questions and once again asked if I was authorized and said he would send me a bill. I then said I didn't want a bill sent to me, I don't handle any of the bills, all bills are handled at our corporate office. So much of the same as above. So once again I gave up, in the hopes of eventually being transfered to an actual representative of Ameritech. Which I did, and I explained the same to him. He said he would take care of it and have our corporate office called.

Well ever since then they have called everyday and asked for me. One time last week Jeff answered the phone and told them I wasn't there. They tried the same line on him and he told them what I told them and they said they already talked to our corporate office and he asked them who they spoke to and the guy hung up.

Today when I was in the office they called again. I again asked who they spoke to and he said the same thing, he didn't call our corporate office, one of his associates did and he didn't have a name. I informed him if his associate had spoken to our corporate office then he would have learned that all of our company listings and billing is handled out of our corporate office. He hung up. I'll do the same tomorrow and so on and so forth.

My impression, they are working from a script, just a few lines. I'm not sure how well they know English. It's annoying and it makes me want to scream.

Jeff's Birthday!

2008-09-07T11:10:00.002-04:00

For Jeff's birthday this year I decided to actually take him somewhere.
He's always surprising me with special getaways for my Birthday and or Valentine's Day every
year so I decided to actually take him somewhere. In true me fashion we went to see my sister Judy in Cincinnati. (I'm cheap and poor. Bad combo!) He was fine with it he always gets along well with Judy. He was glad to get away. He was also a little proud of me for coming up with his birthday plans all on my own. I'm bad at planning things.

This did give us a chance to check out Goodwill Stores we don't ordinarily go to. Of course we didn't get to as many as we'd hoped but the fun was in the hunt. It's what we like to do. We didn't find much either but that's okay too. It's mostly being in the right place at the right time. We did find another thrift store down the street from a Goodwill that had a lot more stuff at cheaper prices. We did find stuff there. Well, Jeff did. Nothing worth mentioning.

Also on the agenda was a trip to Newport Aquarium. Judy came with us. She wanted to see it too. It was pretty awesome. If you like aquatic life which we do. I was missing Shark Week. So sad it's only a week a year! They have tons of different fish and turtles and frogs, and alligators and other underwater animals. The best part was the Surrounded by sharks exhibit. I really loved that one. It was an extremely long tunnel you walk through and they have lots of different sharks swimming around you. Shark rays, manta rays, nurse sharks, tiger sharks and more. I'd never seen such large sharks so close, it was so awesome. That was the last exhibit besides the section where you can touch several different types of sharks. Which I did. Which was scary. I'm terrified of shark bites. Silly these weren't the dangerous sharks.

Also Jeff finally got to see Hancock and Don't Mess with the Zohan. Which I hadn't seen either. They were alright.

Fun was had by all.

Diary of the Dead (Yes, again!)

2008-08-24T22:19:00.002-04:00

I garnered much criticism from my last post about this film because I mentioned too many movies. On in particular which I shall not mention, much, you know who you are and which film I speak of. (That doesn't read right, I know.) Here is the shortened down for the simple minded who had trouble with the last one. *cough* Joe *cough, cough* I'm not mentioning any names here.

In this film George Romero decided to start at the beginning of a zombie infestation and follow some film students who find themselves trapped in the middle. He uses the much done character carries the camera the whole time method in this film. Which I thought would be interesting to see Romero try out.

I know some say, what an ass, that guy is filming everything and not helping, but I can't say I wouldn't do the same. Why would the guy film it all and not help his friends getting attacked. This particular character is a documentary film maker, that's what he wants to do. I think this guy would have filmed no matter what disaster had happened.

It starts of with the main characters making a mummy movie. This is where Romero gets his chance to get his digs in on fast zombies. The guy playing the mummy moves too fast. The director says he's going to fast, dead things don't move fast. This is what I've been saying all along. If you are dead, you are rotting. You are still bound by the limitations your body was already bound by. Only more so, because you are dead and rotting hampers you a lot more. As I type this, that fact seems so obvious.

Anyway, while they are filming there is a news cast about the outbreak. Everyone gets scared and decide they want to go home, so they swing by the dorms and get one of the character's girlfriend and then they hit the road in a Winnebago. The mummy decides to go to his house because it's like a fortress and one of the girls go with him.

We follow the Winnebago through many ups and downs and wind up finding out home isn't always safe. I think though the idea of going home and the safety comes from the security they felt when they were growing up.

There are some really good characters and some bad ones. The girl from Texas was particularly annoying. She didn't seem genuine, like she was trying too hard or didn't really get her character.

Well once again we are faced with social commentary. This one being that in our society we see everything. Everything is filmed, caught on digital cameras, or some sort of medium. Then it is put out there for us to see. But also, he's trying to say, at least this is what I get out of it, the government manipulates the truth. But they can't really, can they? Just about everyone has a camera anymore.

This is getting too deep for me I think.

Stuff on My Mind

2008-08-21T18:21:00.002-04:00

I have to admit I'm still bummed about the Dottie situation. It's so weird. Miss Dottie is an ex-coworker of mine. She worked in my office when I came on board. But recently the powers that be decided we didn't need her anymore. I can't really express here what she meant to me. She is an extremely good friend to me. That means a lot coming from me. I don't make friends easily and it takes a lot for me to call anyone friend. (Sounds like whining but I was dumped on a lot growing up so I have trust issues I'm working on.)

When I started we were not actually in the office. We had a cubicle at the Government Center in Indiana Secretary of State Business Services Division. She Photographed UCC filings onto micro films for our companies archives and I went over the results from our UCC searches. At first we didn't speak much but everyone else came over and spoke to her. One day we got to talking and talked every day from then on. We had a lot in common. Who would have thought that? We both had a sister that died tragically at a young age. We both had to take on a lot of responsibility for our families at a young age. Then IN-SOS went live on the internet with their UCC's and we didn't need to be there anymore so we went to the office. Fast forward to now. Years and years of laughing and crying together. She worked for the company for nearly 13 years and they called the office a few weeks ago and fired her. Over the phone.

Let me just say that I work for a small company. The Owner personally knew her family. He didn't even call himself. He had the personnel woman do it. He said Jeff was to do it but Jeff refused. He feels the same about her. It just doesn't seem right to walk in the office and all her knick knacks are gone. Her desk is empty and I can't smell her perfume ( which she wore liberally. At least it didn't smell bad.) Even worse was that the lady that fired her kept calling after Miss Dottie left. To make sure Jeff was okay. She hadn't spoken to me but asked for me at one point. I jokingly said,"Why, am I fired too?" She replied, " I heard your rude comment." I wouldn't put it past them though. She wanted to know how I was and I had to say something about how she was my friend to but it really wasn't up to me whether she stayed or went and I'd get over it. Really, her polite call was to make sure I wasn't worried about the companies financial stability and that I didn't plan to quit because of this. That they let her go so that a few years down the road we didn't run out of money and have to let her go then. Some kind of stupid spiel like that. What b/s. And even worse was the call the next day when I was at the Marion County Recorders office doing work, for her. To ask if I was okay. Why not rub salt in the wound? It only hurts a little and then goes away.

On a lighter note:
I know the family could care less about my doll collection but I do so there. (Mighty mature!) Anyway, I'm just really excited about my latest find. (I just got a new castle. Yes I know I already had one but that was the Disney Princesses castle! This one is the Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper castle. It's not the same. No it's not! But that's not what I'm excited about.) I have been building, slowly but surely, my dolls of the world collection. Which had been quite easy for a few years because Mattel was releasing them quite regularly. The last couple have been rather elusive however. I do know I'm getting one for my birthday. I'm good on the ones from the last 8 years. Thanks to Jeff and Miss Dottie. They help me search high and low for them. All the while I have been looking on ebay, Goodwill and various flea markets for the older ones. One I particularly wanted was the Irish Barbie from right around 1994-95. I wanted her so much that I bid on multiple auctions for her and lost every single blasted one. (Stupid jerky sniping jerks!) Until finally at long last I was at the Goodwill outlet store on W Washington Street and there she lay in all her glory!!!! I couldn't believe it.. She was still in her original dress missing only her shoes and cap. That's okay because in my desk at work were a sensible pair of black shoes that I put on her and set her on the file cabinet amongst the rest. (Because I keep them at work. In case nobody knew, I keep some at work. They aren't all at home. Some are in my office. I had to put them out in the front room because Jeff's superhero collection is getting quite large. It's oppressive sometimes.) I have made a few other great finds lately I found the Peruvian
Barbie from the 80's along with Russian Barbie from the 90's at the Peddler's Mall. (Peru has some slight degrading due to her age. Leg spotting.) I also finally one the French Barbie from the 90's Yay! I know, no one cares but Yay!

"Diary of the Dead"

2008-08-19T19:33:00.005-04:00

I know I have been behind. I always try to formulate these reviews in my head before I type them.
Probably over think them. That's probably why they are so bad. That actually makes a lot of sense. That's probably why anything I write lately turns out crappy. I didn't used to have to think about it. It just poured out of my pen onto the paper. Now I wind up starring at the screen not writing anything. I have tried. Maybe I should write it then type it. Anyway so not the point.

My problem with "Land of the Dead," and this was always at the back of my mind, is how over produced it was. Which is such an odd thing. Well I actually have other problems, the more and more I watch it the more and more Big Daddy bugs me. It would have been perfectly fine without the whole, you are killing my kind attitude of Big Daddy. Not to mention I will never understand how he was able in his rotting mind figure out that the men in the tower sent out Dead Reckoning to raid his home. He's a zombie!!! Possibly without this even the vengeful zombie angle would have been more feasible. But let's not get into a debate about the problems in the film. Over all there were many things in it I did like, so I'll say I liked it.

But this post isn't about that film. It's about the latest George Romero film "Diary of the Dead."
When I heard the concept I thought it would be interesting. A group of college kids making a film find themselves in the middle of a zombie epidemic and decide to document it. Hey they have cameras and aren't afraid to shoot! It might be interesting to see what Romero will do with the whole camera held by a character fad. I was slightly annoyed at it being set at the beginning of the epidemic or plague. I ave said before that I find that highly annoying. I would love to see another try at people living with the epidemic instead of the initial survival. This is just because I'm impatient and just want them to get on with it.

So I got the film watched it and I did enjoy it. It's much more enjoyable than the recent "Day of the Dead" Piece of filth. I judge films sometimes on re-watchablility, "Day" didn't have this at all. I don't know If I'll ever watch it again. "Diary" I could definitely watch again and again. There were some really good performances in there. There were some bad ones two. That blond girl from Texas springs to mind. I found her annoying and not at all believable as the character. Her performance was bad high school play at best. I hate when it seems like a person has merely memorized their lines and is just saying them on camera in such a way that shows they have no idea who their character is supposed to be.

The movie itself as I mentioned is about a group of kids making a film. It is a Mummy movie. This is where one of the characters, playing the mummy tries to run as his character and the director says, "Dead things don't move fast." To me this is a direct knock at recent Zombie movies most of which contain fast zombies. No fast zombies here. Dead things don't move fast because they can't. They are rotting corpses. I have to wonder if Romero started over because in his previous zombie verse the zombies were evolving to be smart. A theme they practically bludgeoned us with in the "Day" re-make. Perhaps he took a lot of flack on that or didn't like it himself? Anyway, the zombies were not fast or smart in this film. They hear a newscast and head back to college to seek safety and wind up on the road in a Winnebago. I liked the idea that they were mobile. This allowed for so many more opportunities to run into other survivors some good and some bad. Of course their journey was meant to take them all to their homes. Of course home isn't what they hoped for.

So in conclusion, I liked the film.

I visited a Fundy Museum aka I’m not a Creationist

2008-08-05T20:26:00.001-04:00

Over a week ago I went to The CREATION Museum.

Yeah, I know, Why?
Well, I wanted to see it with my own eyes. I had heard it was technologically top notch.
Of course I was greatly disappointed. It was crowded, not with people seeking knowledge like at a real museum, no, not there. It was crowded with people with no interest in what the museum was. They just presented their tickets and walked in a line around the exhibits until they got out and went home. Seemed like they were their out of obligation.

This is what I know, creationists believe that the world is no more than 5,000 maybe 6,000 years old, and people lived at the same time as dinosaurs. Humans were put on earth in GODS image and there was no such thing as evolution before the big flood, you know, the one with Noah and the ark, the one that created the GRAND CANYON. Humans do not evolve, animals do. Let's see, what else.... the BIBLE is literally true, literally! All of this based solely on the BIBLE. Not on human reason, they say there is no such thing, you should only believe the BIBLE not reason at all, no thinking for yourself. It's not based on actual evidence like scientific proof. They say such things can be disproved, like no human skeleton has ever been found on the same fossil level as a dinosaur skeleton/fossil, but they say this is not proof, no one's ever found a human skeleton next to a crocodile skeleton or a coelacanth, a deep sea dwelling fish. That's ridiculous if you ask me. Why would a human skeleton be down there? Unless they got their foot stuck and died. Anyway, my big impression of this place is it was quite a racquet, somebody is making some fat cash off of this place.

After we finally escaped the museum, we is Judy Jill and I, we went to the Bodies Exhibition because it was still in Cincinnati. (Ironically it's next stop is INDY, it is downtown right now!)
The big difference between the people there and the previous stop is they seemed to be interested in the exhibits at Bodies. Maybe some of the Fundy Christians knew deep down it was a sham? Really Bodies was a bit morbid, actual bodies just standing around in all their skinlessness. It was morbid and cool! But I'm a weirdo.

Anyway........I think I'm done with this post.

Shutter

2008-04-02T01:47:00.003-04:00

I saw the movie "Shutter" and uh, well, I found myself several times thinking, dang it isn't it over yet?

It could have been good, I don't know if I believe in spirit pictures or not but it's possible, our world is too big to deal in absolutes.

Warning, possible spoilers to follow:

We begin this film with a newly married couple embarking on their honeymoon.
They travel to Japan and set off driving to their honeymoon getaway. On the drive
wifey is driving and hits or thinks she's hit a girl in the road. They swerve off the road nearly
into a tree. Ha ha, the honeymoon is over!

We find out the husband, Joshua Jackson, or Pacey as I always call him, is a photographer and wants to take honeymoon picture on the patio. Boring honeymoon stuff, pictures come out blurry. They leave their cabin because Pacey has to start his job. (It will become more and more obvious that I didn't bother to learn the characters names!) He is as I mentioned a photographer and to begin working on an ad campaign for some Japanese magazine? (I don't know. I thought it moved kind of slow and it didn't bother to explain it's self, I asked it repeatedly to do so, Bastige!) His employers set them up with a sweet apartment furnished with ultra rad furniture dude! Good thing they like modern furniture, I would have said, gee, this is nice, they said, "It's beautiful!" Oh, and it was in a building by themselves with a photo studio below, and a creepy empty apartment with the door wide open and a lone chair sitting in it. Hmmm, I wonder what that was there for.

Anyway, every picture they take has some kind of flaw, we find that they are spirit pictures. Husband, Pacey, has an assistant, we'll call her Hag for Hot Asian Girl because I don't remember her name (and I get some kind of sick pleasure because it's hilarious the first letters of that phrase spell hag!), knows a guy, her ex, who works for a magazine all about spirit photos. How convenient.

So apparently she and her husband are being haunted by a ghost that shows up in all, not just some of his pictures. After the car accident and the rest of the movie the husband is complaining of a pain in his neck, Subtle.

Wife looks at the pictures from a photo shoot in front of the office building of the company her husband is working for where the pictures were all flawed. She notices they seem to be pointing at a particular office. She goes into the building slips past reception and is able to get up to that floor and sneak into the office undetected, good security, although you could do that at my office building too though. She starts randomly taking pictures looking for the ghost finally catches it on film and is directed towards a group office picture with a young woman with a striking resemblance to the girl she thought she hit on her honeymoon.

She shows Pacey who admits he dated the girl but says she's not a ghost she's still alive. He thinks his new wife is nuts until he has his own experience and believes her. He comes clean to her about how something awful may have happened to her, not the whole truth. She convinces him to see a ghost expert up until this point I had my doubts about whether he did anything to her, but the ghost expert, all the build up, what a disappointment, he says something to Pacey in Japanese, what, we don't get to know. So obviously he did something bad to deserve a ghost haunting him.

Basically, I thought it was a good concept but I didn't have a lot of sympathy for the characters, except the ghost, I just wanted her to kill Pacey, and his creepy friends that I also didn't bother to mention because, they were boring too.

So, did I like the film? I wouldn't see it again, if that tells you anything.

I've got a lot of thoughts racing through my head and I thought I'd start sharing them here again.

I hate the blog at MySpace. I just like this better.

I'll post more on the movie later.

I also finally got around to watching "I Am Legend" I'll get around to that to soon.

I've been remiss with my movie review, I do have fun with them, really I do even when they suck.

Good night, more later.

The Mist

2007-12-11T22:17:00.000-05:00

So, I saw the mist.

My impression of the preview was, so, it's like "THE FOG?" It's not.
It actually isn't bad.

It starts out with them seeing a mist coming over a lake after a storm. Then there is a trip to the store and the mist reaches the store and then they realize through a character running into the store that there is something in the mist. So all the people are trapped in the store. Every attempt to escape seems to end in death. The story is made more interesting by the crazy woman in the store who believes herself to be the voice of god. This aspect makes the story scarier also in that the film explores just how fast the fears of people in dire straits can turn to hysteria. So we follow a small group of people who look to me to be reason in a crazy situation who appear to be persecuted by the crazy religious masses. They make it necessary to escape.

The special effects were pretty cool. I felt they were visually appealing. The creatures to me looked like living creatures, I thought anyway.

My one problem, because I always have one, was the decision the main character and the survivors made. (Without giving anything away.) I felt the final decision was out of character no matter what promises were made.

I might have to read over this later, it probably doesn't make sense.

Night of the Dead

2007-06-13T11:44:00.001-04:00

Well I have a confession, I watched another bad movie. What else is new? Not only that, but I have chosen to do a review on it before Vacancy, 28 Weeks Later, or even 300 (or as the marquee sign at the Movies 8 says 300 Hundred.)

I didn't have high hopes for this movie especially since the back of the box said it was the most shocking movie since the RE-ANIMATOR. There will always be a special place in my heart for RE-ANIMATOR so I had my doubts about their claims. I must admit this review does contain spoilers. Sorry. Just in case someone does want to see it.

It was written and directed by, Eric Forsberg, who hasn't done anything I've seen. It is a tale about a doctor/scientist who is working on a serum to bring the dead back to life! Sound familiar? Yep, a little. Here is the synopsis from IMDB:

Pregnant and frightened, Anais is not allowed to leave the specialized hospital where her husband, Peter has a medical internship with his uncle, Dr. Gabriel Schreklich, a man with a serum that can resurrect the dead. But things go terribly wrong and the Ghouls take over the hospital. Now, the only way for Anais to save her unborn baby is to get one of the Ghouls to help her to escape. Written by Eric Forsberg

We begin with the good doctor, well, bad doctor, Dr. Gabriel Schreklich, working in an obviously low budget film home lab. Come on, you can make a low budget film and not look low budget. The doctor is working on an experiment with a dead frog. He takes a piece of card board and pins the frog down to the cardboard. He takes a metal tray full of operating tools and cuts the frog open. Then he takes his serum, which looks a whole lot like pepto bismal, and injects the serum directly into the frogs organs. The frogs inards begin to undulate? A strange sound comes out of the frog and it begins to move around. The doctor kind of pulls out the inards. The frog bounces around the room and he smashes it to bits. Then he poors acid all over all of the bits. It's very scientific. Everyone knows that if your experiment goes bad you should just throw around acid all willy nilly. A knock sounds on the door. Its the doctors wife and child. They tell him they are going out. Of course this feels totally set up. He's working on a serum to bring the dead back to life, I said aloud while watching the film, I bet they are going to die somehow and he's going to use the serum. Of course I was right.

So Dr. Gabriel Schreklich didn't really have me believing he was any kind of doctor/scientist. Right off I knew it was no RE-ANIMATOR. I could see what they were trying to do. I could even sense some of the same sort of atmosphere. It just felt like a poor imitation. This film fell pray to what so many low budget horror films seem to fall to, bad writing, bad execution, bad acting. There were several continuity errors. Places where they obviously used the same re-animated people in more than one place in successive shots. They were at one point trapped in a hallway with the exact same extras coming from both directions.

It wasn't at all clear that the doctor really knew what he was doing. For a dying girl that came to his clinic he injected his serum directly into her blood. For another, he cut open his chest and injected it right into his organs. If there was some reason why he did it that way I don't recall. I think it was possibly for the gore factor seeing as you see the whole thing.

Some reviews I've read say this movie is better in some ways than RE-ANIMATOR. I think not. I didn't really care about any of the characters in this movie, I did with the other. Who wouldn't love Dr. Herbert West?

This is really all I have to say. The film to me was a pale imitation of RE-ANIMATOR as it was. It could have been a lot better had it been totally different. I guess I have one more thing. The end was actually really good. I must admit I kind of suspected that was where it was leading. I won't tell you the end though. If you have any questions just ask.

A tale...

2007-05-14T10:36:00.000-04:00

This is a little tale inspired by the cup of snickerdoodle flavored coffee I just finished.

It's a true story, an event I was just thinking about. It's not funny really more dumb so here goes.

When I was a kid I had this friend that lived next door. Her name was Cathy.
We played together all the time. Well if her parents were home. (If her parents were not home she and her brother and sisters weren't allowed to leave the house.)

One day we decided to bake snickerdoodle cookies. I used to love those cookies. So we were in my kitchen and mixing up the dough but we couldn't get consistency right. So we took the whole bowl next door where Cathy's dad was home and he looked at it and asked how much butter we put in.
We for some reason had confused how many sticks makes a cup of butter. Duh, I'd say now! Anyway we added the butter and the cookies turned out fine.

Rest In Peace

2007-03-29T19:43:00.000-04:00

A word of warning to those who hate those who seem a little too close to their pets, you will hate this post so stop reading. Or read it, I don't care. I'll ignore you if you are rude anyway.

Yesterday sucked. I was sitting at my desk at work and my boyfriend/boss, Jeff, called me and told me that he had been up all night because (brief explaination of his living situation in case you don't know. His parents live with him and his Grandma is staying with him.) his grandma was throwing up everywhere. As a precaution they took her to the emergency room. Then they checked her in. Turns out she got the flu. A pretty nasty case. Jeff and his parents were told to be careful around her and to cross their fingers that they didn't get it. That sounds real promising. So of course now he has the Flu which leaves me in the office all alone for the rest of the week. He may not have got it except for the other thing that happened (this is where I get to the pet stuff. No, I wasn't refering to his grandmother as his pet!)

Jeff had two cats. They were both strays that he and his family took in. The older they had longer, his name was Scooby. The other's name is Snickerdoodle, Snickers for short, but this post doesn't really concern her. They had Scooby for about 5 years. He was a kitten when they took him in. He got a little mentally unbalanced in his old age. Everytime they took him to the vet he would act a little weird when he came home. He hated other cats. When they got Snickers they had to separate them until he got used to not being the only cat. They took him to the vet recently who couldn't account for his strange behavior. The vet said he couldn't do anything for him. He said the best thing to do for him is put him to sleep. Tuesday he saw a cat outside the window at their house and he was acting so strange, hissing and acting out that Jeff's mom locked him in the spare bedroom. It used to be the back porch but they recently had it inclosed as an extra room, so it has a glass door and they could watch him without him attacking them. So Jeff spent the night on the porch with Scooby and he said he was acting normal, but that was the way it was everytime. So yesterday, they had Scooby put to sleep. I feel so stupid because I'm sitting here crying and he wasn't even my cat.

When I was talking to Jeff he started crying. Not about his grandma but about the cat. That was weird I'd never heard him cry before. He's the one that loved that cat the most. He was really upset about it. That's what upsets me. He never tells me when he's upset. The whole thing is just plain weird.

I think the other thing that has me upset is I kind of see how he feels, well how I would feel if it was me. I had a dog a couple years ago and with work and everything I found it hard to care for her. That and when I got her I just didn't feel the dog owner bond I thought I'd have. I didn't know I loved her when I had her. It got to the point where if I kept her I would only do her harm. So I gave her away. I was fine on the way but when I was handing her over, all I could think of was how much I'd miss her and that I really did love her, and how badly I wanted someone to adopt her. I was terrified they would have to put her to sleep because no one would want her. I'm pro life, I don't agree with putting animals to sleep, just as I don't think people should have abortions.

My mind's all jumbled up right now so I'll have to stop. Comment if you like, I just had to get it out because I'm really sad right now.

Happy Holidays!

2006-12-26T21:31:00.000-05:00

I hope everyone had a Happy and safe Christmas Holiday, and do as well for New Years!

So it's time now for the obligatory, where I am now vs. where I was at this time last year post. I usually do this around my birthday but I put it off a lot.

So,......let's see......yeah....hmmmm....It's been just any old year. Or as I've said many times this past year has sucked hard. So this next years gotta be awesome. Hopefully we won't have so many injuries in the coming year with the sprains and strains and cracks and stuff.

Where I am now, versus where I was. I'm still in debt but not as much debt. I have paid off two credit cards now and am current on the rest of my credit cards and car loan. So that's good. I'm getting it under control. Hopefully soon I will have my head above water and will be able to breathe again.

I guess I'm not exactly doing anything meaningful with my life. I have a job and debt so I guess I'm about where a lot of Americans are. But I do have a plan. Not so much for the debt but for the meaningful part.

It started when my sister and I were watching a certain Zombie movie called "Zombie Night." We were talking about all the zombie movies I have found out there or we collectively found that are independant (some not, I'm talking about you Dawn of the Dead remake) and bad. A lot of them come from really good story ideas but fall prey to scriptwriting, acting, and directing. People, you don't need a lot of money to make a good movie. You just need talented people involved that know what they are doing. Like, why must zombies be fast? Why do they have to explain why the zombies are there? These segments of the movie are often pointless and boring. See in "Day of the Dead 2: Contagium" where there was this bizarre crystal alien thing. I thought that was so ridiculous, pointless, and it didn't make sense.

We had the idea that we could make one and do it better. My idea is we should set it after "Day of the Dead." Kind of about the time of "Land of the Dead." In an urban setting. I got the idea one day when I was walking in the tunnels between the Government Center and Circle Centre Mall in Downtown Indianapolis that this would be a good place to hide out if you could find a place with tunnels underground and provided you could block the entrances somehow. That's the idea kind of. My youngest sister was going to work on the story a bit but school has really kept her busy. However I suspect that her online roleplaying has a lot to do with it as well. She says she's still trying to decide on characters at this stage.

If anyone out there has any ideas, or wants to help I'd be willing to listen, just let me know. My boyfriend says there is no way I can do this and do this well so I'd really like to prove him wrong.

Guess I lost some steam...

2006-12-08T06:23:00.000-05:00

on the movie reviews I mean. I'll have a new post up soon.

More Movie Reviews

2006-10-12T06:41:00.000-04:00

My sister and I decided last night instead of going to the $.50 theater to see a movie last night we would rent a movie instead. We went to Blockbuster and I had to talk my sister out of "Dead Men Walking." Why? I've seen it of course and know her and know she'd get pissed if I'd let her rent it knowing what it's like. The reason I know this is all the times I'd let her borrow movies from me knowing they weren't good. They were entertaining but not good. The last one I lent her was "The Fanglys." She hated it.

I on the other hand was highly entertained with "The Fanglys." It was low budget. This does not make a movie bad. When you have a low budget you most often have to scrap the bottom of the acting barrel, or hire your friends to be in it. Which would most likely be a fair description of these actors. The acting in fact was one of the biggest things to drag it down. The premise was simple. It was Halloween night. A group of young adults, mid-twenties living in a small town have decided to hang out around the old cemetary. There of course is a legend of an old witch that haunts the area called the Fanglady. They wanted to see if it was true, the most of them didn't believe. The group was comprised of friends Mark, Kelly, Jerry, Steven, and Camille who was just some random girl that Steven picked up. They go out into the woods by the cemetary, Jerry gets scared and whines. There was a whole conversation between Mark and Kelly where she said that Jerry had better not get scared and whine while they were out there so the whining was no suprise. He said he wouldn't so of course he did. Then of course weird stuff starts happening. They get annoyed by Chubb, who is one of the silliest crazy violent canibal people ever! (He's also the writer and director. He really seemed to be having a good time playing Chubb. Chubb was actually my favorite part.) Also annoying them was the Fanglady who appeared to be somewhat supernatural. Of course also there were some scenes of some locals, a Sheriff and a good old boy who covered up some deaths caused by the Fanglady and had been covering them up for years. This part was pointless and stupid as it went nowhere. Take my word for it, it's entertaining, but not great. It's not really all that fresh and brings really nothing new to the crazy people in the wilderness gore fest movie genre.

Now, "Dead Men Walking" is just another Zombie movie my boyfriend rented from the Hollywood Video near his house. They always had way more horror movies to rent than a lot of other rental places because the manager really liked them, I don't know, but when I went in there they always had a ton of stuff I never saw at Blockbuster. (It's so unfortunate this particular Hollywood Video closed.) He rented it because I like Zombie movies. It's about these people get some weird disease, die and rise from the dead and this guy is forced to kill his friends before they kill him. Of course the authorities were not understanding of this and he gets sent to jail. Why do the cops never believe people when they say they didn't kill their friends, they killed zombies?!? Of course he's contracted the disease. It spreads throughout the prison and there are some really disgusting puking and out of guts in the mess hall right into their plates and since they are so sick they don't notice and continue to eat and I've sworn never to watch this scene again. It was similar to a scene in "Day of the Dead 2:Contagium." Anyway there is a riot in the prison and all the living people are trying to escape the madness alive. There some lines I thought were good when I was watching but I can't remember them now. I just know the warden said them.

At Blockbuster last night we rented "The Hills Have Eyes." It was the remake. I've never seen the origional. But that is going to be my next post because as I look at the time, I have to get going. Until next time.

It's October!!!

2006-10-07T08:02:00.000-04:00

Ok, so it's October. This means Halloween is right around the corner. So I'm gonna post some movie reviews of scary movies for that purpose. For those that don't know, Halloween is my favorite holiday, I love to be scared, it's just hard to scare me.

My first review will be for a little film called "THE SCORNED." I guess in this movie's case, it's not really scary. It's not even good really. I watch the bad ones so no one else has to. That's not exactly true, I watch the bad ones and then I pass them around to everyone so we can talk about how bad they are. There are excepthions, I didn't make everyone watch "Zombie Honeymoon." No one should be subjected to that poop! So now I guess I'll talk about "The Scorned."

So once upon a time a couple reality "stars" got together because they wanted to make a scary movie starring only reality stars. Interesting choice not using real actors, I myself probably would have chosen real actors, but it's not my movie, this wouldn't have helped the film though. So they had a concept, had a script then there was a reality show called "KILL REALITY." I being a big reality tv watcher did watch it. It chronicled the making of "The Scorned." They had the cast all living in the same house, all reality stars. It was entertaining for me because I so missed the antics of Toni Ferrari, or as I like to call her the biggest attention whore of reality tv. I mean come on lady, LOVE CRUISE, PARADISE HOTEL, KILL REALITY, what a whore. Johnny Fairplay however got too much airtime if you ask me, he's always turned my stomach.

Now for the actual movie. It starts out with this couple both aspiring actors then there is a tragic accident at their beach house and they moved out. Then these four young adults rent the house and weird stuff starts to happen. Johnny Fairplay, who was the character TQ in the movie, throws a party on the beach. His girlfriend is not in attendance so he finds another girl to sleep with. After which the crazy drunken girl, played by Miss Topless for Peanut Butter herself Jenna Morasca, is swallowed up into the ground. Also at the party inside the house our Heroine, played by Miss We're So Lucky to Be Here 2000 Jenna Lewis, sees apparition, and her ex-boyfriend as we learn, also sees an apparition. The apparition is no better than early CG aparitions in the movies. Nothing to write home about.

The next day, they walk over to their landlord's house to pay their rent. They ask him if anything strange ever happened in the house he tells them his tragic story, at which time we are treated to a flashback. The back story isn't terrible, it's just not fresh, it's common. The acting, like much of the acting in the movie, is terrible. He was engaged to his girlfriend, Raina, her best friend from high school, Nichola, came to live with them. He was trying to get his career going, she was a shooting star. Of course they go for the big cliche, he slept with her best friend, she found out and then we get to see one of the most ridiculous fight scenes in a film since the 20 minute fist fight in "They Live" (by the way whenever this movie is on I am somehow always bizarrly drawn to this scene, it's one of those things where you know you should look away, but you can't.) She walks in on them, flees in anguish, they follow her, for some bizzare reason he attacks her and she fights back, he bashes her over the head, hits her. The only person who seemed concerned for her was her friend, he just seemed to be trying to kill her and her friend looked like she was trying to stop him. The fight ends with him slashing her throat with a fireplace poker and her falling in the hot tub and him and her friend watching her float there. The thing that bothered was that if he loved her, why was he so angry, shouldn't he be trying to make amends here? We find out she is not dead, she's in a coma. There is a crazy guy that hangs out by there house that tells them that the spirit of Raina is angry and wants revenge. So the spirit of this woman in a coma goes on an angry killing spree, killing people who are unfaithful, all the cheaters.. Sounds like "The Grudge" to me, only the spirit is alive not dead. I mean the spirit trying to exact revenge thing, the scorned woman. The other point that bothered me is that one of the characters was suspicious that his girlfriend might be cheating on him and accused her of this a couple thousand times in the movie. He was a personal trainer in the movie and had one client in particular that wanted to sleep with him and she was willing to pay dearly for him. He said he would never cheat and would be heartbroken if his girlfriend did but in the end the almighty dollar won out. He cheated on his girlfriend in order to get the money so he could afford to buy nice things for his girlfriend. Then he cried about it. What a baby. It just seemed kind of stupid. Not to mention he and his girlfriend had no chemistry. They just looked like to people that I didn't believe would ever be together in a million billion years just reading lines from a script, and they were! Imagine that.

All in all I enjoyed the movie but that's probably because I don't like Johnny Fairplay and liked to see him die. I'm so disappointed they didn't kill Erika Landin though. Most of the acting was bad, they aren't trained actors so I wasn't suprised. A couple performances stood out however. Toni Ferarri was actually pretty good. I was suprised. And Bachelor Bob was totally believable as a scummy dude who would sleep with his girlfriend and then try to kill her.

I wouldn't actually recommend this movie to anyone. Well unless you enjoy bad movies as much as I do.

Big Brother and Survivor

2006-09-17T02:25:00.000-04:00

I've decided to cover these in one post so that people can get all their insults out at once regarding my reality TV viewing. (I stand by my assertion that if people know they are being watched it ceases to be reality. The script is more improve but I never believe that this is what these people are really like. It's just called reality TV.)

My biggest critiscism of Big Brother is one, Julie Chen is a terrible host. One night she relied way too heavily on those cue cards for a speech she's delivered every week for about five summers. I spent more times screaming at Julie this past summer than I can count. I think it would be more fun if one or more of the past house guests was the host.

All in all, after I got over the initial shock that I would not get to watch Bunky on BB7 Allstars, this past season turned out pretty good. Especially toward the end when it got really exciting. Plus it was fun watching Will and Janelle, even if their flirting was real, you can't fake chemistry. You can have that even if you don't like each other. The Boogie and Erika relationship was kind of gross. That was mostly because he did not appear interested in her at all. She seemed really insecure, and also like she couldn't really read people. I mean, can't she tell when she's kissing a dude that if he turns away like he did, he's just not into her. It made her look really pathetic. I feel bad for her, I really do. She didn't even win after coming off looking so bad. I have to say it though, I don't think she ever stood a chance at winning. She was outplayed by everyone I think, well maybe not Chicken Man George. I honestly would not have predicted Boogie winning or getting that far, I thought Chilltown would be out first, but for some reason they stuck around. This is why it's cool one of them won. I wanted Janelle, but since they changed Big Brother in America and took practically out of our hands, I didn't get much say. I didn't even vote for her to get the $25,000 because you could only vote by texting on a Cingular phone, which yes I have one, but I don't know how to text (yeah, REALLY! Go ahead and laugh, I don't care, I'm sure I could figure it out if I wanted to.)

The Bad, I think I'd be really good at this game. I can adapt into different social situations pretty well. I'm good at getting along with people I don't like. There are quite a few people I've come across in my work life I have deceived into thinking I like them by being friendly in order to make the environment more bearable. Not co-workers, I would consider them more as peers, or competitors. We gather a lot of the same info for the same kind of clients, it's best not to make waves, they could make the records less obtainable if they chose to. But the last Big Brother got me thinking, I'm at such a cross roads in my life, it could be a good time to apply for the next season. I'm terrified that- I won't be accepted, I wouldn't be able to get that time off all at once if I did get accepted, I wouldn't win and then be without a job, And then I would have trouble getting another job because stupid me never finished school. At that point would I have to go back to school? Where would that money come from with no job? I'm just a big scardy cat, I know.

Now for the controversial new season of Survivor. It's just started maybe I will have to post on it again. So far, I like it. I'm not easily offended. To me people are people no matter what they look like. I'm not shallow, so there. I can however see where people might see something wrong with it. I have seen enough civil rights law suits to know that this could be bad. I hope not. Survivor is my favorite reality show of all time!!!

That's enough of this.

Until next time.......

The Current Part 2

2006-09-09T00:01:00.000-04:00

My relationship with Jeff is the one I call my first grown up relationship. Perhaps it is because it was at this time I decided to stop moping around like a big baby and actually try and get out of the gigantic rut I dug for myself. Long story short, in case you don't know me, I decided it would be a good idea to drop out of college being bored with the whole college thing after only a year and a half. So basically my life was work all night sleep all day. No boyfriend no nothing, so I discovered the chat room. That of course was unfulfilling. Especially when somebody started hacking people's handle's and got my phone number off the system somehow and called me on my house phone. Nothing happened just some bored kids from somewhere far away. How do I get so off point? I have no clue. The point is my life was a big nothing. There I was nearing mid 20's with nothing to show for my life but well, no there was nothing. I didn't even have a driver's license.

Then I meet Jeff, don't give him a chance then we got thrown together so often. So why not date him. He's 11 years older than me. Not that I've ever been concerned by things like that. The only person in my life that mentioned it was my grandmother. She met him at my older brother's wedding and pulled me aside and asked, "Did you know that he's bald?" What do you say to that? It was one of those questions that grandmother's ask that you can only think to say nothing because you don't want to be rude to your grandmother. So I of course said, "Yeah, he was born that way." She then had to ask,"How old is he?" She thought since he was bald he must be at least 20 years older than me. Not! Actually he started balding when he was in college. The age gap isn't so big really when you think about it. It's only gross when you think when I was 8 he was going to prom. When I was 6 he'd learned to drive and was dating.

We went from dating to actually being a couple one night when we took Jennifer out for dinner for her birthday to Chili's in Greenwood. The three of us went back to his place. I had a few drinks, I believe in those days I was drinking long islands and black russians, I was a little drunk, it might have been margaritas that night, I really can't remember. Somehow he and I wound up in his bed. So basically I'm a terrible person. Sue me. My sister was depressed and lonely and I had sex for the first time with my new boyfriend while she slept on the couch in the living room. Shame on me. Whatever. I don't know if I handled things at that time exactly right, I was totally screwed up and trying to get my life back on track. I guess I'm still working on that. After that night things with Jennifer weren't quite the same. They never have been since.

He and I were drinking quite a bit in those days. Our favorite place to go out was The Hollywood Bar and Filmworks. You get to eat drink AND watch a movie. My favorite things to do in life those days. We even took my parents a couple of times. My Dad thought it was great especially when Jeff shared a bucket of beer with him.

We also discovered we shared a love of thrift store shopping. Goodwill was where we spent a lot of time. He knew where there was a Goodwill on every side of town.

Soon, at work, the load got heavier. He got permission to hire on some extra help to pick up the slack. And the owner said to just find someone reliable. So he hired me. The job was to go to the Indiana Secretary of State Business Services Division and make photo copies of UCC liens from the UCC searches that we had orders for. The position eventually became permanent. Though the job description changed when the Secretary of State launched it's on-line system and kicked all the service companies out because we could just print our UCC searches off on our computers in the comfort of our offices. So I do something totally different now. I gather court records at the City County building as well as I help with the corporate filings at the Secretary of State. This is what I would call the end of the honeymoon period for our relationship. Not that that's a bad thing.

Sadly the beginning always ends which brings us to the middle, and the end of this post. I have decided to make this a series because you can't this whole relationship into one post.

The Current

2006-09-02T08:21:00.000-04:00

I've been debating re-posting or maybe even re-writing my articles on my exes but I've discovered, I just don't want to. I don't know if I'm just lazy, or I don't care anymore. The whole point was to I don't even know anymore. This current post is about my current boyfriend. I guess I was trying to chronicle who I'd been with in order to see how I got to where I am now.

So, my current boyfriend:

I met Jeff at my sister's wedding. She married David in the fall of '96. I was the maid of honor and Jeff, David's cousin, was the best man. The only things I remember of this meeting is, one, he was cute, two he was married, and three no, there is no three. That was it. He has said that he remembers that he felt some kind of connection during our one dance but he was married and he would never have acted on that. I know nothing of this connection. I don't remember that hmmmm. Let's move on.

Fast forward to the year 1999, summer. To a divorced Jeff and a single me. I was spending a lot of time with Jennifer and David. I'd hang out with them and they'd bring Jeff and unfortunately he'd bring the transitional Looney Lan.
(His wife left him claiming she wasn't who he married, she used to be someone else and she didn't marry him. Blah blah blah blah. I never loved you. Then she'd call him in the middle of the night and beg for him to let her come over and have sex. I don't know why he married her, he doesn't either. So anyway he started dating Looney Lan, that's what we call her now.) Transitional Girl Looney Lan didn't work out, they became friends. It's not right to date someone when you like her kids better than you like her.

This was also the last summer of Lilith Fair.
One day waiting in line for tickets to Lilith fair, Jennifer and her husband met a musicion also in line. Her name was Ugly Old Hoe-Bag. Wait that's not right. Her name was Deanna. The three of them became fast friends. Deanna wanted to be a famous singer. Jennifer and David thought that was cool. They started hanging around her all the time. They tried to fix Deanna up with Jeff. That didn't work, Jeff didn't like Deanna. Different temperaments. Oh, and she seemed like kind of a money grubber. Appearances made him look like he had some money. He had a very nice looking apartment at the time. If you didn't know better with some of the things inside, you might think he had a lot more money than he really did. Truth is most of his decor came from Goodwill Stores. Not rich, thrifty. What a disappointment for Deanna. Turns out she had a severe case of the I want what you haves, a good man, a supportive husband, you know a good solid guy, what we all want, that will do as she says when she says it. So Jennifer, David, Jeff, Deanna, and I hung out together a lot. It was weird, it was like if Jennifer was not there, David gravitated to Deanna, sometimes when Jennifer was there he would still gravitate to Deanna. One case, at the Hollywood Bar and Filmworks, I wasn't there. Jennifer, David and Deanna on one side of the table facing the screen with David in the middle. Jeff was on the other side of the table with his friend Drew, also facing the screen and the other three. Jeff and Drew saw David playing with both of the women's hair. Drew asked Jeff what was up with that and Jeff said he didn't know. I mentioned how David seems to spend a lot of time with Deanna and Jennifer said there was nothing too my suspicions.

Whatever this post isn't about my sister's divorce or the man stealer.

I hadn't decided if I wanted to date Jeff. What brought us together was David leaving Jennifer. We were both like, what the hell. Our first date, just the two of us was to
La Hacienda. We traded stories about times when we'd seen suspicious behavior between David and Deanna. After that we became and have been ever since.

The next post of this vein will be about the actual relationship. I'm not promising when though.

I guess it's not even funny anymore...

2006-08-18T06:50:00.000-04:00

OK, so say you have a gas leak right?

If you had a gas leak and you were in the house a long time, possibly you might not notice. But you have to leave to go to work right? Right, so wouldn't you notice the odor when you came home? Not so with stupid moron Barry. Yes, my sisters ex-moron, Barry.

The last couple of times she took the kids to his place she mentioned to him that she smelled gas. He did nothing about it. Until this week he said he left the gas on, on purpose, when he was sleeping so he could die in his sleep. Now, is this lame Barry trying to garner sympathy, wallowing in self-pity rather than being a man, or was he really high on gas fumes?

Jennifer talked to his other ex and she said she'd check it out. She took off early from work and called the gas company and went to his place. The gas company said that the gas leak was huge. It was in the crawl space under the house. Barry was in danger everytime he turned on or off the light.

And now he has no where to go. His family will not take him own, they say he is a grown man, he should take care of himself. I totally agree. Jennifer says, but they are his family! I know this, duh, his own mother, not every family is like ours. Our parents take us in when we need it. This is not the case in every family. I was just shocked that my sister would think that I would be sympathetic to his plight. What does he need to turn to his parents? Apparently he has two ex-girlfriends at his beck and call. He's never seemed to take care of himself.

Too bad he didn't light a match...

Anyway, maybe I'll have more thoughts later.

HA HA! STUPID MORON!

2006-07-17T06:59:00.000-04:00

Success at last!

The trouble my sister has been having with her boyfriend is, well not at an end, but she has been fighting with him a lot since a couple weeks ago. Last week, Thursday, I was home for lunch, well, before then even.

Wednesday he called her to complain about his side hurting him. Whining again. She agreed to drive him. Of course he couldn't drive himself to the hospital. He might get caught driving without a license. He had a hearing on Monday, just a preliminary hearing. That case is still pending a trial.

Thursday she takes Noah, their newborn, and she drives Idiot Barry to the hospital. Afterward they came back here because Jennifer wanted to get Zeke, that's the older child.She wanted to give Barry a chance to see his children. Barry didn't want to come back here so he started whining. I think he thinks if they come here it gives her a chance to decide to stay home. We've decided he doesn't want to see the children, he wants to see her, he uses them as a way to get to her. Like the previous incident which our parents have finally been aprised of, when he said she couldn't have the kids back after he begged her to come get them. He has since said that he doesn't want to see them unless she is there. He has told her get them a new father, then apologized and said he didn't mean it. Then he's turned around and said it again.
Ok, so they were in the driveway and he was being an ass again of course, that's what he does best. As I said, I went home for lunch. I was watching from a bedroom window phone in hand poised to dial 911. Do I need to say I've been waiting two years at least for this Moron to mess up? Well I watched my sister crying as she tried to get Noah's car seat out of the car. Barry wasn't letting go. I noticed Zeke was just wandering around the driveway. Then I looked back to the car, he was whining, you know, how a child whines at the store when they want a toy or candy or just anything. When she tried to get the car seat yet again, he's yelling at her telling her she's stupid, how he's not hateful or being hateful, everything wrong in all their lives is all her fault, all the things an insecure guy says to keep a woman down. He jerked the car seat pretty hard. That was the final straw. I went out into the driveway and my youngest sister Jax followed. He looked over and started yelling at us how we didn't need to come outside it's none of our business. Dumbass, it's our family, they are our nephews and you can be damn sure if they are in danger, I'm willing to step in and protect them, it's just part of who I am.
I said, give her Noah or I'm calling the cops, and he whined some more. He resorts to calling us babies because that's all he is. I don't care how he insults me, he's not worth it. He's one of those people that aren't worth ripping on because it's too easy.

Called the cops on him like I said. She left with him then came back with the car. Then she left again because he was whining about getting his ulcer medicine or something like that. She left the car with him so she wouldn't be at his beck and call. Good, more chances for him to get caught driving without a license.

The next day he was supposed to pick up his children for a visit at 12pm. Big shocker, he never showed. Then we went to dinner Jennifer, her boys, Jax and me. Jennifer's cell rang, it was him. She answered. Like all the other times I could hear him clearly, the boy talks loud. He again blames her for everything. Saying all the same things, why are you being this way, stupid stuff like that. What does that even mean? He's says, I'm not waiting around all weekend to see them. She said fine then don't. She stopped answering the phone then. We ran a few errands after dinner. He called, must have been about a hundred missed calls on her phone.

She must have answered the phone sometime and he must have made the same lame apologies as before and she must have fallen for them, again, because that Sunday, she borrowed Mom's car and took the boys to see him. Of course he again became enraged because she didn't plan to stay with him. The rear window on the driver side must have been a little bit down, because he grabbed it and kind of yanked on it and it shattered and the babies were right there! His babies right? The ones he's so proud he "fathered?" I mean, we had many disagreements about what an ass he is, he and I, in which commonly he would say, "I HAVE A BABY BY HER!!!" To which I would say, "So what? It's not their fault their father's an ass!" He never thought it was funny, humor is totally lost on the stupid.

After the incident I just mentioned, when he broke the window to Mom's car she said she was going to persue custody and he wouldn't get to see them anymore. Then the following Tuesday, she went to a movie with our sister Jax and left Zeke, the elder, with his father. I failed to mention that Zeke in particular seems to be the one that the dumbass is most fond of. On a number of occasions, Jax has witnessed that dumbass try and keep him from Jennifer. He threatened to take both children to an undisclosed place, just words right? But you have to wonder, he is a sort of heat of the moment act before you think kind of person. She then another day last week took them both over there. In Mom's car! After she just got the window fixed from the
window shattering incident.

It scares me everytime she goes over there and even more when she leaves the boy. You can never say what a person says when they are so unpredictable.

What's happening

2006-06-28T07:12:00.000-04:00

Well, so much has happened.
My sister left her boyfriend of course. So now he calls all the time. He has the cell phone that my Mom got for my sister. Well I should say had. He doesn't have it anymore.

So starting last week he constantly called. Jennifer went to visit, taking the kids. He wants to see his kids. More importantly he wants to see her. He wanted to go camping last Friday. Well they didn't go. Thank God! It has been raining practically non-stop. So since he had been calling constantly Mom said he didn't need to have the phone only to harass her. Thursday night he got arrested. I know I've mentioned before that he doesn't have a valid driver's license. His license is suspended. He ran a red light and was speeding. Duh, you get pulled over for that. They didn't keep him in jail, they had too many real prisoners down there. (He can't even get sent to jail properly!) So Friday my Mom and sister went and got his car because it was impounded. Yes, they let him have it. Then he continued calling her. She told him that she wasn't going to console him because he got caught doing something illegal.

Saturday was no different, he kept calling. When she stopped answering her cell phone, work cell, He started calling our house phone. He's been told not to do this, He's been told if he does, his cell will be disconnected. Basically, we shouldn't have to talk to him. He kept calling, he was warned every time, his phone got shut off. So he went to the pay phone down the street and continued to call, begging for his cell to be turned back on. My little sister, Jax, picked up the phone and politely asked him to stop calling. There was a dispute about if he would actually get to see his kids that day. She said he could, but she wasn't staying. He would have the kids, the kids alone. Of course he whined some more.

She took the kids over and Jax went with them. She left the kids and came straight home. Then only 40 minutes later, he called whining for her to pick the kids up. She had told him if he was too upset maybe she shouldn't leave them, but he said it was fine. She went back to get them and then there was more whining about reactivating the cell. You know because what if he got pulled over again and had to call someone! Whatever.......So there was a fight, and screaming, Jax was waiting in the car so she went in to see if the kids were ok. Of course he went off on her too. He accused her of cussing him out. Uh, yeah, right in front of our mother she would cuss him out over the phone, unlikely. If you know my family, you know you don't cuss in front of our mother. She finds it highly offensive, since Jax is 15 she can punish her for it. Jax wouldn't be there if she had cussed him out. Of course he resorted to name calling. He called her a fat bitch. Great thing to say to an insecure 15 year old girl. He said if he couldn't have the cell phone no one could, how mature, he threw it at the wall or the floor, not important, but it's broken now. He also said they couldn't take the kids back, He was going to keep them. Finally he let Jennifer take Noah, the newborn. Then she left and then was called back to take Zeke. He said, WAH WAH, I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH DIAPERS OR CLOTHES FOR HIM. WAH, WAH! He's such a baby.

Jennifer asked Jax to not tell anyone what happened. Especially with the phone.
Monday Jax had her ex-boyfriend, John, over. They are still friends, except that he wants to constantly bring up the relationship thing. Dude needs to get with the program, he's gonna dump her three times and then try and get her to take him back again? I told her sometimes it's not in the cards to be friends. Or maybe someday you can be friends with him, just not now. She's still young trying to figure these things out. Jennifer came to me and said, I can't understand why she'll let him come over. Later Jax said that John had never seen Barry (Jennifer's loser) before. I asked her when he had and she said when Barry dropped of Jennifer and the kids earlier that day. Which Jennifer hadn't and wasn't going to mention to me. (John said, "He wasn't wearing a shirt, this troubles me." John's a good kid.) None of my business, I don't really care, obviously she thinks there is something wrong with being with him if she's going to pretend it doesn't happen.

Then Jax said that Jennifer and Barry were negotiating yesterday, Tuesday, about Barry taking the kids for the day. Jax said he said maybe he'd take them somewhere and not tell her where. Jennifer said then he couldn't have them and he relented I guess.

Last night I refused to let Jennifer use my car to get to work. I told her I needed to have gas money up front which she didn't have so she rode her bike to work and then Barry picked her up and brought her home. Then he took the kids. I asked her if this was such a good idea since Saturday he wasn't going to let her take them back and yesterday he threatened to take them somewhere secret. She said he never threatened to take the kids away.

So who do I believe? My 15 year old sister who trust me wouldn't make this up or my older sister who is a liar. It's true I've caught her in more lies than I can count. This is spanning our entire lives.
Anyway, that's where it's at now.

Rememberance

2006-06-20T06:41:00.000-04:00

The time comes to reflect on who have come and gone in one's life.
Today is the thirteen year anniversary of my sister Joyce's death.
I always take a portion of this day and go to the cemetary to visit.
The best way to say it is with these words:

Happy Father's Day
Early in the morning
I have yet to rise
I hear car doors open and close
There are voices outside
People walking very fast
Judith comes running into her room
She climbs into her bed
Proceeds to cry.
I ask her what is wrong
She says I will find out when I get up
I am very confused
I decide to get up
I open the door to the hallway
It sits next to the front door
The front door opens and people enter
Firemen carrying a stretcher
They carry it onto the patio
I watch and see what Judith is crying about
Our sister's lifless body as they try to revive her
Her limp body being lifted onto the stretcher
They carry her away
Happy Father's Day.

It is Father's Day
They are taking her body away in an ambulence
My mother goes along
Dad is staying with us
He tells us as we rise
Where were we when she took her fatal swim
The extra sellp was not worth it
It is too late to worry about that
We all sit and wait
A policeman takes a statement from Dad
They look at all the conditions
They look to place blame
It is not our fault she could unlock doors
It is not our fault she rose early(or was it?)
The phone soon rings
I pick it up
Mom says, "She's gone"
Dad picks up the other phone
As if he hopes there is still a chance
He needs to hear again because he can't believe
Realization sets in
He sobs
It is the most awful sound I have ever heard.

I call some friends
They do not believe me until they see the news
How can I joke about that
The funeral is Tuesday night
We have to go see the body first
Privately we say good-bye
She looks like a doll
She feels like a doll
A beautiful doll in a liitle white box
I can't believe they make them that small
All I can do now is wonder why
Even my brothers cry
Father Michael comes to pray with us
He brought holy water and sprinkles her
He gives her her final shower
Together we are a family
It seems for the very last time because she's not alive
We are at the funeral now
The church is packed
There is not a dry eye in the church
Everyone keeps telling me that everything will be alright
How can they know
They are all stupid
They just want to make me smile
Don't they know she was the only light in my life?
It has not been a Happy Father's Day
Jessica-1993

It used to make me sad but now it is not crippling as it used to be. The whole event changed my life in such a way that I wasn't able to come to grips with until the last couple of years. I was unable to cope for much of high school and I believe in part I can attribute that to this one event. I think part of that made me angry at her, for dying. She was my purpose. At the time I wanted to take care of her after high school, after college. After she was gone, I had no plan. I never realized this was, partly why. Otherwise I didn't know what I wanted to do. But I never knew why I had no direction until much reflection and growing up I've forced on myself in the last few years. It's like a light went on and then I could finally let her go and stop blaming and start living.

She wasn't a cause, she was my sister. I should honor her as such.
Anyway, she is loved and will always be missed.

Tis Official

2006-06-19T20:24:00.000-04:00

I'm going to say it's official now. My sister, Jennifer has actually left her boyfriend. She is currently staying with us at our parents' house. She is also car shopping. So thank God!

Over the weekend he, Barry, aka the moron, came to pick them up for a visit Friday. Jennifer went with them because she doesn't trust him with them. Then Sunday she took them to see him again. Even bad daddys should get to see their children on father's day.

Uh, that's all I have to say now.

My review of BloodRayne

2006-05-30T15:36:00.001-04:00

Ok, I'm late, I know. I didn't actually see it in the theater. Under the circumstances people should understand, I think my sprained ankle kept me from seeing this, it kind of came and went in the theaters so fast that I totally missed it.

I first heard about BloodRayne the video game when one of my many sisters and I were browsing at Blockbuster for a movie or a game or something to do one Saturday evening. This game caught our eye. So we rented it. There is a story behind that, it tells of the stupidity of Blockbuster employees or the inefficiency of the company or something. I don't think people need to be told this, they are kind of stupid and think they are powerful because they work in a video store. Working in a video store does not make you powerful or smart, it makes you a video store clerk, it makes you no more powerful than the cashier at Walmart, and they all suck too.

Anyway, we got the game home and we loved it. I of course purchased the game because it amused me so. I mean there you are a vampire and you suck peoples blood. I'm a little warped I know, but I'm not the one that found the cheat code to make all the chicks in the game have big boobs, that was my sister. I'm also not the one that sat for hours trying to beat the game, although, as far as games go it was fairly simple, I'm not very good at them, but I could play this game, I just didn't want to spend all that time on it, if she was going to do it. What can I say, I'm lazy, I just watched her play most of the time.

When I heard they were making a movie, I thought, hey cool, let's see what they come up with. When I heard Uwe Boll was directing, I was even more interested. He's one of my new favorite directors, why? His movies aren't that good, but they crack me up. What movies, you might ask? "House of the Dead" and "Alone in the Dark," to name a couple of his most recent releases. So he's found his niche in video game movies. Hooray! The dvd's contain the funniest director commentaries I've ever heard, yes I listen to them. But I like him because he really believes in what he does. His passion is so awesome, you can hear the excitement in his voice when he speaks.

Now, I enjoyed "BloodRayne" more than the other two of his I've seen. The problem with Mr. Boll's movies most often seems to be the casting. I would never have thought someone would cast Michael Madsen or Michelle Rodriguez in a movie set in this time period. They do okay work I suppose, considering neither of them seem to have a very large acting range. I think Mr. Madsen does a great job in Mob movies or as a thug in general but here, I just didn't see him as a big hero. I could care less for Michelle Rodriguez's character, just like in "Resident Evil" I was rooting for her death the whole time. I thought the casting of Rayne was good, a relatively unknown actress. I thought she did a great job in this film.

Yes, there were many problems with this film, things that bugged me would be the costuming, yeah, don't get me started on that. The other thing, Mr. Boll seemed to sacrifice some of his fight seens for shots of people travelling across the countryside on their horses, um, like the many times this happened in "LORD OF THE RINGS." Okay, we get it they have a long way to travel. Then he used flash backs to refer to the big battles rather than actually having a big huge battle scenes, uh, unlike "LORD OF THE RINGS." This bugged me a lot. Perhaps this was to avoid actually filiming these scenes? Now the sword fighting they showed, the gore, that was hilarious, I laughed my ass off at some of the fighting and gore. And of course Mr. Boll had to include an unnecessary sex scene, I mean, come on Sex sells! Yeah, we just thought, what the hell? All in all, like in the past the character development was as bad as Mr. Boll has ever done, it seems to be where he always falls short.

I'd recommend this movie, definitely...

SLITHER

2006-05-18T11:47:00.000-04:00

I finally saw Slither.... and.....I loved it!

My sister's words at the end of the film were "Just one more movie I'll never have to see all the way through ever again." This just means she thought it was gross. I laughed the whole time. I was about the only one laughing at several parts. I think people were looking at it as a straight up horror movie. Uh, it's not..... My experience was marred only by the woman who came in ten minutes after the movie started. Sat in the row in front of us. We sit in the second row, practically every movie, that way no one sits in front of us. Well she sat in the front. She proceeded to make a couple phone calls. They altogether lasted 30 minutes. She talked very loudly. I was highly annoyed. I am prepared to put up with a lot of shit since it was the $0.50 show at the Cinemark, but come on, just because it's cheap doesn't mean you can be rude! So I sat there and sighed very loudly several times, my sister turned to me and asked if I had anything to throw. I didn't but wished I did. Other than that I had a fabulous time. Nathan Fillion once again did some fine work. I'm not suprised I've always enjoyed him. Even on that fabulous Ryan Reynolds show Two Guys and a Girl. I'm a prepared for the Ryan Reynolds Bashing to begin, I mentioned him on purpose, I miss it. Maybe he should make another movie? The movie was yes, gross.... I think everyone should see Slither!

Cartoons and Movies

2006-05-16T15:50:00.000-04:00

I don't actually watch Justice League, but I thought it was a good show. I'm shocked to hear it has been cancelled. I'm just as shocked about Teen Titans also getting the axe. This was brought to my attention by my boyfriend, Jeff. He watched both shows every weekend. He's a tremendous DC fan. You should see our office. It's overwelhming. He has hung shelves accross the wall over his desk and filled them with DC superheros from about every line you could think of. Teen Titans, Justice League, Superman, Batman, some custom some not. People come in and have to look at it because it is such a massive collection. I of course joined in. I have a few barbies by my desk. I have Barbie as Poison Ivy, Batgirl, the Halle Barry Catwoman, and Wonder Woman (the 1999 Collectors Edition which means nothing if you don't collect Barbie. Trust me, the later edition sucked, the one I have has a cape and lasso and on the cardboard behind her is a reprint of a Wonder Woman Comic, not to mention she isn't made with the ridiculous bendy body like the newer one was.) The point is Jeff was disappointed because his shows were cancelled. I'm disappointed because they were cancelled for that idiot Toonami. You know stupid shows like Dragonball Z.

Along the comic book lines, I hear the long awaited Watchmen movie is finally announced. This would be based on the graphic novel of the same name, which was before that a comic book series. I hear Zack Snyder directing? Well we'll just have to see. I liked the Dawn of the Dead remake, but it wasn't Dawn of the Dead. It was something entirely different. If anybody knows anything about this feel free to let me know.

MAYBE IT'S FOR REAL THIS TIME?

2006-05-11T11:26:00.000-04:00

I doubt it.

Here's a little update on my family situation. My older sister has a boyfriend who is very controlling ever since she got pregnant with their first child. These are all things that we have advised her of on many occasions. I used to live with them, I know. I heard them fighting on many occasions, him accusing her of cheating on him. Not letting her spend time with anyone except him. Being downright disrespectful and rude to her and her family. So now it's taken her over a year now for her to come to the conclusion that he is a loser. She's still kind of dragging her feet though. She stays away from him all day, and then goes to see him in the evening to make him dinner and take him to work. I just think she needs to put the fear in him by doing nothing for him and not talking to him. He said he wanted to change and go to anger management maybe if she left him, really left him, he'd get better. She seems to know that it's not meant to be, she's just to chicken shit to make a clean break.

Nothing Important

2006-05-10T15:40:00.000-04:00

I'm semi wired on espresso so bear with me here.

I noticed this morning just how cool it sounds when ambulances go around the circle with their sirens on. I was walking from the City-County building downtown Indy and to by-pass the protesters on the corner of Pennsylvania and Ohio I went a quarter of the way around the Circle and an ambulance went through there at the same time as me and it sounded so cool! It's the little things you know?

I don't have a point exactly, I'm just annoyed because of all the things I have to send out regular mail instead of fed-ex because my clients are to cheap to pay for shipping. So we ship for free now? I guess. At least the latest postage hike hasn't occured yet. I'm just bracing myself for that.

I was already annoyed being stuck in the office today. All by myself. And I got most of my work done already too. So I have time to kill.

Kill Baby, Kill!

2006-05-05T23:12:00.000-04:00

or Operazione paura

Last week I watched this movie.... It's one of the two I didn't do a review on from the cheap old horror movie collection I purchased. I'll tell you what I thought about this one, but that last one, I just can't bring myself to watch it. If you know me, you know that the movie is really, really, really, really bad. Maybe worse. One of my mottos is " I'll watch anything once!" There is also the possibility that I was two drunk that night to actually pay attention. Why was a drunk, that's a whole nother post.

This movie was about a doctor that was going to a remote village to do an autopsy on a girl as part of an investigation of several suspicious deaths. The story was sort of similar to Sleepy Hollow in that it was a doctor going to a small town bringing science to this superstitious society and finding out for himself that there is more going on than science can explain. The villagers believe the deaths are caused by the ghost of the baroness' daughter. The daughter died tragically in an accident in town and the baroness blamed the townspeople and stayed secluded in her home for the twenty years since her daughter died.

The movie is pretty creepy and definitely worth a watch.

Who doesn't love "DR. WHO?"

2006-05-01T07:14:00.000-04:00

And now that they've seen fit to revive this show in Great Britain, which is as it should be, we will have even more episodes to watch. It airs on Sci-Fi network of Friday nights. If you loved the old "DR WHO," most likely you will like the new. Not to mention, the first season will soon be on dvd, so no excuses!

The Compulsion

2006-04-28T00:14:00.000-04:00

The Compulsion

I did it again, I bought a collection of horror movies. Mostly Italian in origin. My youngest sister was with me and I gave her implicit instructions not to let me do that. But she turned her back for a second and didn't notice I had it until I set it down on the counter to check out. It was only like $5.95. I do so enjoy making those check out girls give me funny looks, especeially when I sat down that horror collection, fabulously titled I might add "BLOOD BATH," as well as "Degrassi: The Next Generation Season 3," and then saying, very loudly, DON'T JUDGE ME! My sis just shook her head and said there's no hope for me. I have this terrible compulsion to buy these old horror movies simply because the entire collection has a hilarious name!
Anyway, on to the movies.....

The first was called "DEVIL'S NIGHTMARE." It's an Italian Gothic Horror film Directed by Jean Brisme
Writing credits Jean Brisme & Pierre-Claude Garnier. Well, I was almost afraid that it wasn't the production company that put it out put a rather puzzling opening at the beginning which as I started watching was hoping wasn't the actual film. To my utter joy, it wasn't the scary opening ended after much fast forwarding. It's about a group of tourists travelling through eastern Europe who seek refuge in an old castle. The castle of course is cursed. The first born daughter is always a succubus. Oh, but shocker, the owner killed his first born daughter, but a succubus comes any way. She kills six of the people in acts of mortal sin. Of course she was doing the killing for the devil. I was suprised, it really wasn't too bad.

The second film was called "PIECES." This was an early 80's slasher film Directed by Juan Piquer Simn & Writing credits Joe D'Amato & Dick Randall. It was hilarious. I don't think I ever laughed at a slasher film so much before. Basically at the beginning in the 40's some kid gets caught by his mother when he's putting together a puzzle of a naked lady. His mom takes it away so of course he axes her. 40 years later some psycho is chopping up coeds making a life sized puzzle out of women parts. It has some hilarious lines in it: Dean: Professor Brown... you see... is a homosexual. Not to mention the part where the character Mary Riggs stands outside the locker room and yells BASTARD! over and over again.

I think I'll post the other two over the weekend seeing as I didn't watch the last one yet, the other two are called,

"KILL BABY KILL" Directed by Mario Bava & "KISS ME KILL ME" Directed by Corrado Farina

Strange how almost every one of these things has one film directed by Mario Bava.

I'm on MySpace now

2006-04-25T15:58:00.000-04:00

I'm trying this out but I'll still be around on here.

Find me on MySpace and be my friend!

2006-04-25T15:46:00.000-04:00

My nephew Zeke.

My other nephew, Noah.

Stuff

2006-04-24T06:08:00.001-04:00

I haven't written in a while. I was trying to decide what to write about.

Should I write about how irritating people in Indiana have found daylight savings time? I've heard a lot of complaints. One attorney I heard talking said he couldn't sleep for a week after he changed his clocks. Why is changing our clocks such a dilemma. The sun doesn't know we've changed our clocks. Therefore, now the sun rises after seven instead of six. The sun sets sometime after eight. It's after nine before it is completly dark. This is bizarre and kind of difficult to go to sleep when it's dark outside. However this is just an annoying thing we have to get used to now that the powers that be decided to change our clocks to Eastern Standard Time. I have heard people say they want to go march on Governer Daniels' lawn with sign that read "IF YOU CAN SEE ME, IT'S TOO LIGHT OUTSIDE NOW!" That's not my slogan, it's just what they said. Of course they'd have to figure out where the Governers house is because his wife refused to live in the Governer's mansion.

All the streets around the tower damaged downtown are all open now, to both pedestrians and cars. Some of the tenants will be allowed back in the building this morning on floors 14 and below. The floors above this were the worst damaged. In some places there is nothing but a railing. There are more substantial repairs required up there.

I was trying to decide if I would discuss the whole immigration thing. I think I've decided if I do I will need to read more on it. I will say this though, if they decide not to go to work on May 1st, it won't effect me in the least. Unless I go to a fast food restaurant. Which I probably won't.

I guess that's it.

A MIGHTY WIND

2006-04-05T11:35:00.000-04:00

Ironically I watched the movie Sunday afternoon. Then Sunday night a mighty wind blew right up the side of a skyscraper in downtown Indianapolis. As the wind travelled up the side of the building it gained speed up to aproximately 120 miles an hour. It reached nearly the top and burst through the windows of several floors, gushed through and came out the other side. There was an attorney working late that night and he felt the swaying and heard the crashing. He ran down the 32 flights of stairs from his office to the lobby.

In the aftermath, the debris scattered across several blocks in all directions of downtown Indianapolis. This resulted in street closings, which then caused many people being late for work.

Some debris smashed in the the Indianapolis Star building which is right next door. The ceiling was broken out in some of the upper executive offices in that building.

Now it's Wednesday. There are still streets closed around that building. It's precautionary in case something falls off the building. The cleanup has begun however.

It's just wild, the force of the wind. I just can't help looking up and thinking, the wind did that.

Happy Spring!

2006-03-21T15:23:00.000-05:00

Uh, I'm looking out my window and all I see is snow.....Yeah.....Spring.....

I don't know why I didn't do a St. Patrick's Day post. Probably because my celebration consisted of me leaning on a crutch at the parade and then having lunch with my family at FAZOLIS! Yeah that's right, how authentic! NOT! I was pretty much in shock. The decision was not up to me, I was not driving nor was I paying. So there it is.

It was the first St. Patrick's Day on which, I did not drink since I turned 21. I didn't drink because I tend to lose control of my ability to walk properly when I drink a lot. Since I can't walk properly anyway, due to the ankle incident, I thought it wouldn't be prudent to drink.

Now I am able to walk most times without assistance. I use a cane now and that's all and sometimes I walk on my own. Woo hoo! I'm almost a whole person again.

I CAN WALK!!!!!!!

2006-03-15T08:44:00.000-05:00

Yeah, you read that right. I can walk again.
Granted I'm not back to full walking ability, but I can get around.
I'm on one crutch now. The swelling is just about gone. It's pretty
exciting. I don't have to wear my air cast anymore! And I thought it
was exciting when I could put on two shoes last Friday. Now I can walk
on both feet!

It's not like I thought physical therapy couldn't help me. I just didn't
want to go.

Birth Announcement!

2006-03-08T08:59:00.000-05:00

I have a new nephew.

His name is Noah. I don't know his middle name, and my sister probably gave him is idiot father's last name, FOX.
He was 7 pounds, something or other, and I don't know how long he is.
I didn't go to the hospital to see them because of the whole crutch thing, So I haven't even seen him other than a picture my dad took with his cell phone.
So now my older sister has 3 babies, the two that are hers and the one she calls her boyfriend.
Now since she had the first one in February and the second just over a year later, in March, the third will probably come next year in April? That's what everyone here in the office is saying. Um, but there are only three of us.

But who knows, maybe she won't have any more. She won't have more with him if she's smart.

I'm in Physical Therapy!

2006-03-08T08:41:00.000-05:00

I went back to the foot doctor. Of course it got all swelled up again so he asked the obvious question, "Are you putting ice on it at all?" Of course I have been, I don't know why it got swollen again. He did a sonagram and said he saw a torn ligament. Of course I never asked the important question like, which ligament, what's it called. So this I do not know. He said I must see a physical therapist. 2 to 3 times a week for 3 weeks.

Shockingly enough, my older sister, who doesn't seem to do anything for anyone except her boyfriend and lastly herself and her child, well now children, she heard I had no one to take me to the doctor and so she showed up and drove me. So fun to ride with one shoe off and glass all over the floor under my feet! And poor little Zeke, my nephew, had an awful cold. Have you ever seen a sick baby, it's heart-breaking.

Anyway, I did some research for physical therapists that my insurance covers and I found one in downtown Indianapolis just down the street from my office and about 15 minutes from home! Yeah! It's in an old firehouse that has been converted into office space. My first visit was yesterday. Nothing much really happened other than the physical therapist told me that I have a limited range of movement in my left ankle! Duh, that's why I'm in therapy! Anyway, I have two more appointments this week. Maybe I'll be walking again someday!

OK, YOU CURLING LOVING FREAKS!!!!!

2006-02-27T09:40:00.000-05:00

I'm still recovering from my fall.
I saw a doctor last Thursday and got new x-rays and he said he didn't see a fracture at all. He put a soft cast on it, wet gauze under cotton under gauze and told me we'll see how it's doing next week (which is now this week), and then we'd talk therapy. (Physical therapy! He's a foot doctor!)Then he sent me on my merry way. At which point I stopped at the register to pay my co-pay. Hurray for health-care! Currently I am sitting at my desk at work, leg elevated typing a post to you fine people.

To my delight when I was stuck at home recuperating with a sprained ankle which by the way doesn't happen to be fractured like the ER doctor said it was, I was able to watch some of the olympics. Oddly in former years I would mostly watch figure skating. It's pretty, but this year I watched none. Not even once. I watched CURLING! It dawned on me that of all olympic sports, it seemed like the one I would probably be best out. The experience has truly reaffirmed my love of curling.

Curling truly is a sport in which one has to think and think fast. What must be going through their heads as they rush after the disc sliding oh so fast down the ice? They have to make the judgement on how long to clear the path and when to stop smoothing out the ice so the disc will stop as close to the center as possible. If you haven't judged just right your opponents can keep smoothing out the ice so that your disc continues to slide. Then, when it is the opponents turn to slide down their disc, you have to keep it from hitting your disc and knocking it out of place.
I find it rivetting. I swear I held my breath when the other team went, uh, every time.

Two of my sisters, Tammytyree and Jillibean, were so sad the olympics ended that they went to BEST BUY and purchased the official Olympics game. To our dismay, it didn't seem to work on my playstation 2. I constantly get disc read errors with it. I don't know why. Oh well.

Do you live in a Bright House?

2006-02-22T10:06:00.000-05:00

I finally called the cable company. I put in an order for them to install internet for both of the computers in the house (Yeah, no more dial up!!!) and to put in digital cable in my room. The order was put in and the next day I was brutally attacked by an area rug my Mom likes to put in front of the front door to keep out the cold air. Unfortunatly, if you are leaving the house it is impossible for one to put it in place, so it winds up just laying there at the bottom of the stairs. So a week goes by of me recuperating, moaning, oh God it hurts it hurts!! Then it was cable day. It was supposed to be like Christmas you know. A fabulous day when I spend tons of money and wind up giving my family this wonderful present! High-Speed internet, which they never had before. Of course, because I ordered it, it didn't go off without a hitch. They came out practically every day last week to install it.

A timeline of the cable experience:

DAY 1- Tuesday: Not very bright looking cable guy comes to the door. I hop down the stairs to let him in. (because I'm still on crutches.)At which time my mother came home. He takes what I considered an insane amount of time to run the cable to the house. When hooking up the digital cable, I had prior to his arrival kneeled on the floor somehow and cleared a spot for the receiver, despite the excruciating pain, I rearranged it so there was an open spot for it to go. Instead of putting it in the obvious place, he removed things from on top of my t.v. breaking something (not anything expensive so of course I wasn't mad, but come on, there was a clear spot for it.)This of course proved that these guys will do whatever they feel like. To install the cable internet to my computer, I should say my computer is in a large computer cabinet, it's very heavy, after all it's not some shitty Sauder compressed piece, it's actually oak. He tried to move it on his own to put in the modem. Not necessary, but like I said he didn't seem very bright, and the first impression was further solidified with every single thing he did. Then he tells us, my mother and I, he can't get the internet to work, he has installed the modem on one computer, but he needs a tech to come and check his work. He didn't know if he'd connected the cable right at the box on the telephone pole or if the modem didn't work or not. He hadn't even installed the wireless modem thingy onto the other computer. I asked him if he could get that one set too so that it was ready when it was working and he said he would. He installed it then called his office to see when the tech could come out. He said maybe 45 minutes. He couldn't wait because he had somewhere else to be. He left no software for the tech to reinstall if necessary. He left me in no way confident of his job. I was just glad he was gone.

Ok, then the tech got there, said it looked like everything was set up right. He also said there was some corrupt software on the system at headquarters that they needed to reinstall. He said they would re-install it and then give us a call to tell us it was working. Which they never did, and it never worked.

DAY 2- Wednesday: I get a phone call from the tech who came the night before saying to call him. This was my first day back to work after a week, I wasn't home to take the call. So I called in the evening, couldn't talk to the guy that called me and talked to someone else instead. After I told him the problem he said he didn't know what I was talking about reinstalling software at the home office. He instead set up a time for a tech to come out the next day.

DAY 3- Thursday: I get home from work to find my Dad standing behind to cable tech guys working on his computer. He sighs impatiently several times like he's being inconvenienced. You know like he just paid a lot for something and now it wasn't working right only he didn't pay. He would have gone on indefinitly with dial up if I hadn't done this for him. He was kind of rude to the techs, constantly muttering things like, "This is so much trouble. So much more trouble than it's worth!" The techs tell me my computer works, it's online but for some reason, the network isn't working, my parents computer isn't online. They needed yet another tech to come out and fix that part. They also said they were highly dissatisfied with the job the very first installer. He never should have left the house until at least one computer was up and running, and why did he not leave software. Then they left. The next tech guy came and couldn't get it to work either, he didn't have the necessary software either and he thought we'd need a new modem, he didn't have that either. They could send another tech crew out the next day. Also he said he'd speak with billing about the charges for the wireless internet because it hadn't worked yet. Lastly, the initial installer would be dealt with in the morning.

DAY 4- Friday: The time came for the cable guys to show up and they never came. I got a phone call from their dispatcher scheduling a time for them to come in the morning.

DAY 5- Saturday: So the tech guy came, the same guy from Thursday, got everything working. HURRAY!!!!! Once again he said he would talk to billing about not charging us for the wireless until Saturday, because it was all on their end so we shouldn't have to pay.

So now we have cable internet acess and I have digital cable in my room. This in itself is fascinating to my father. He didn't think we could have both a satellite dish and cable in the same house, I don't know why...But he shouldn't be jealous, he still has more channels than me. They have all the movie channels, I only have several HBO'S & CINEMAX. Plus now we can receive phone calls while we surf the net. My parents were probalby the last people with the internet and only one phone line....How bizzare! Now also, 2 people can be on the internet at once. How much fun would that be that I could be on the internet in my room while my sister is on the internet in the dining room and we could talk to each other on instant messanger? Yeah, I'm a dork. But I can message her, "Hey Jax, 'Lost' is on, get your butt in here!" and she can say, "OK!"

Missing in Action

2006-02-10T09:19:00.000-05:00

Alright, I've been missing again. So what happened this time.

Well, Tuesday morning I was getting ready for work. As I walked back down the stairs to my room I was attacked by an area rug, or I stepped, perhaps one would say, mis-stepped, lost my footing and fell down. My foot turned one way and it wasn't supposed to bend that way, I fell down, heard a pop, and immediatly began screaming. It was obvious I wasn't going to walk on it though I tried. I hobbled into my room and could feel my ankle swell up to about the size of a watermelon. So I hopped out of my room so I could get to the phone, I crawled up the stairs. Luckily my Mom is walking quite well without crutches these days, she left one in the dining room, I crawled to it. I somehow stood up and used the crutch to get to the other end of the house.

When I got there I picked up the phone and called my boyfriend. To my dismay he wasn't in the office yet. His cell was off. So I called my sister and her cell was in the room I was in, and not with her. I saw a number by the phone that said, Jill, by it. This is my other sister's name, she just got a phone in the house she just moved into. I called the number. Answering machine? DAMN!!! So I left a message, I was still sobbing in pain, cause it hurt like a bitch....Anyway, Judy, called me this is the sister I was trying to reach, she lives with Jill. I hang up and she immediately calls back. So anyway, she came, took me to the hospital and supplied me with a second crutch, because conveniently enough she keeps one in her car.

The prognosis was that I both sprained and fractured my ankle. So I've been sleeping on a recliner all week and haven't been to work. I eventually got a hold of my boyfriend. We work at the same place, he's actually my boss, he said not to come in.
Wednesday he came over here and brought me flowers, roses, and a silly little stuffed gorilla. Which brought tears to my eyes, however that might have been the pain....

Anyway, I'll be around.....

EX # 6

2006-02-02T10:02:00.000-05:00

Obviously my last post was a big jumbled mess, I really didn't want to write it. The whole point was to chronicle the relationships and to show myself I don't date failures. Though some of my dating experiences are failures, but that's how you learn. All in all I look at them all as growing experiences. I'm not bitter about any of them. It's just that I'm not very proud of the person I was when I was with Jeremy. That's possibly why I put it off for so long. Once again, this bears no reflection on him, He's a great guy, it has everything to do with me and who I was and who I couldn't be. I'll try to be more coherent here.

Right at the tail end of Jeremy moving out, I went to a competition my old high school marching band was in. I met up with John and Mike, two guys that were a couple of years younger than me in high school. It was the fall, they had just graduated that spring. We hung out a few times and John and I got together.

John was like a breath of fresh air. The best way to describe it was that it wasn't hard. The last relationship was so hard. We both had issues with which to deal. John really didn't, he was a good listener and very patient. His advice was always fabulous. "What, your depressed? Just stop it!" A lot of times, I was like, just stop eh? I didn't know it was that simple.

Was it? Not exactly, it came down to writing down all the bad feelings and whether who I felt bad about ever read it or not, it still helped. What good would telling my parents that they were bad parents do anyway? None, it would just make them angry with me. Denial of responsibility is a big thing in my family.

Another good thing was John was away a lot. He went to Purdue for his first year of college. It was disappointing at first. I was used to having my boyfriend under foot. It turns out I prefer to be on my own alot. I didn't realize this before. At about this time I went to work one time and when we get started at an inventory we have a meeting, I looked accross the group and there was my old buddy Cecil. Cecil and I in high school had a pact if we didn't have prom dates then we would go together. I was dating Matt when prom came around and so Cecil went with some skanky girl also named Jessica ( I always thought of her as that gross skanky girl who hang out with my joke buddy Carrie M.) I teased him at the time, just had to take a Jessica but all he could find was a bad substitute of Sweet 'N' Low because I have no Equal. (Uh, if you didn't laugh at that, I don't care, because he did.) Anyway, Cecil built me my first computer, which gave me internet for the first time, and hooked me up with John while he was gone via e-mail. This was also the time Cecil got my younger brother and I hooked on Resident Evil games. We spent an insane amount of time playing Resident Evil 2 on that computer and it was a blast. However we never beat the second disc, it had a flaw on it and wouldn't run. (I know, boo hoo)

When John saw my computer he laughed and said, if you wanted a computer I could have built you one and it would have been better than this one, but it will do. (Ah, the good old days when I had Windows 95.)

As far as dates go, we did the standard, dinner and a movie, or we would go and hang out at a mutual friend of ours Dave's house. Or to his Aunt's house. Yes we had Sex, it was better with John I suppose, or maybe it was just different. I was not too interested at this point, it was just something I did.

The best thing about John was that he was encouraging. The previous winter when I was with Jeremy I quit college. It was all in my head, I was tired of school, I picked the wrong college I think. For high school, I went to a kick ass college prep school called Cathedral High School. As a result I was prepared for college, too well, I'm really impatient and to start with at college I was essentially repeating high school. Really annoying, it seemed a waste of my time and money if all they were going to teach me was what I already knew. John encouraged me to go back to school. I didn't go but the encouragement was nice. No one had encouraged me on the college front before.

Why did it end? John was a good on paper guy. He had the drive to go far. But like me, he's a snob. I wasn't really ready to go back to school, he thought I should, he couldn't understand it. So during a busy month at work he and I couldn't connect at all that month. So he called and we had a discussion. He and I agreed that we did like each other a lot, but busy or not if we really wanted to be together we would. What does that say about our relationship. So we decided to be just friends.

Now after my older brother moved out, my younger brother moved in. Shortly thereafter, Cecil moved into the third bedroom. This was because Cecil said, "I'm being gang-raped by the utility companies in Brownsburg!!!!!" True story, that's what he said. I still went out with John, but we weren't a couple.

John transferred into IUPUI in Indianapolis. His dorm was right down town and he had his own room. One night I went to visit him and we played Gran-Tourismo. I swear that's what we did. Now my brother and Cecil teased that that's just what we called it.

I started to see John less and less. I hung out with my sister and her husband more and more, and they started to hang out with a certain local "musician" at about that time which is where I will stop for now........

to be continued........

Ex # 5

2006-01-31T09:56:00.000-05:00

Ok I said I would get back to this so I am.....

I met Jeremy while I was dating Matt and as I said in the Ex #4 post, that it just wasn't working anymore. He was kind or rude and not very nice to me, and I wasn't so nice anymore either, and that's the time you call it quits I guess.

But that's not exactly true, see because when I was hanging out with my brother and his friends and I met Jeremy, I was interested in him. I wanted to see where that was going so I used the fact that things weren't perfect between us as an excuse to break up instead of ignoring the feelings for Jeremy. I didn't know that's what I was doing at the time. Matt was a better fit for me than Jeremy, I wouldn't have known that if I hadn't explored it though.

Ok, so I was then not dating Matt and instead dating Jeremy.

But it always came back to Tom.....Jeremy knew that, and he mentioned it many times, he knew that it Tom showed up and wanted me back, he I would go with him. I always said this wasn't, but I know now that it was true then.

Ironically that summer I had all my friends from high school over for a party. Tom was there and he met Jeremy. Tom took me aside and asked me what I was doing with this guy, he wasn't right for me. Which was true, I just didn't know it at the time. All I could say was that he just didn't know him.

At the time I was severly depressed. I had a lot of things that I needed to come to terms with and at the time, ignoring them was a lot easier than facing them. All of that I believe would be suited for a different post, I'll go into that another time.

I liked Jeremy because he was smart, funny, and basically brilliant. He still is. I just don't think he knew it all the time. He eventually moved in with my brother and I. Big mistake. I thought I loved him and I thought he loved me. I thought it was perfectly normal that he wanted his own room. That way I could say, see parents, we aren't living together, his room is down the hall. (It was the time I was still going to church.) I told myself that he did love me and the reason that he wanted his own room or to be away from me so much was his artistic temperament. He's a writer. I told myself I should be alone alot too because I wanted to write myself.

So there I was, in over my head and so adult, I lived with my boyfriend, juggling him, and school and a job. Not really so great, I was really messed up.

We had sex before he moved in so I thought he really must love me, he had sex with me. No it wasn't ground-breaking but I thought it was alright, I'd never had sex before. I didn't know any better. He wanted to leave right away, said he had to get up early for work. So I was going to sleep and he was going home. I got up to use the restroom and heard him downstairs, this was about an hour later. He was chatting away with my brother. Had to get up early? Whatever, I wasn't mad, I just figured another artist thing.

Anyway, sex was never great between us. This is no reflection on him, we just weren't compatable there.

Anyway, both of us were to blame for the split, but he was just him being himself which wasn't what I needed. And I treated him like shit because I simply wasn't happy with myself.

My older sister tried to help me to not be so unhappy. She used to invite me down to stay with her and her husband. They lived just outside Columbus, Indiana. We never had heart to heart talks or anything, she never tried to talk about anything with me. She just tried to be there for me. Which I appreciated. But I couldn't talk to anyone about me. Pretty much I felt shame. I knew the relationship was not right. I didn't regret having sex the first time. There were however times when I was working a lot, and still going to school, and I would come home really late like at 3 or 4 in the morning and I would breath a sigh of releif to see his light off. Then I would get in the house and he would get up and want to have sex, and I would do it, I thought if I didn't he wouldn't want me. That's where the shame comes in. I know now that this was stupid and I would never do this again with anyone. I don't know that he would have dumped me for not having sex with me and that's not the point, I beleived he would, I wasn't right with me. I couldn't talk about this with my sister. I thought she had it all. She had the house, two cars and a husband, how could I ever talk about it with her? How could she ever understand what I was going through.

So he moved out and we haven't really been friends since. I know now we shouldn't have dated. I don't regret it, this was a lesson I needed to learn. I learned alot about myself and had I not done this I wouldn't have seen the things I needed to do to make things right for myself in my life. But he's still brilliant, just not for me.

Ouch!

2006-01-18T16:08:00.000-05:00

Saturday I got home from work at about 8:45 pm after beginning work at 10am so it was a long day, I was dazed, I didn't have lunch, or even proper break at work. I was a little slow, so forgive me for my temporary lapse and not noticing my mother walking around on crutches.

I asked her what the heck happened to her. She replied, "I ran over myself with my own car."

Of course my response was, "How in the world did you run over yourself with your own car? Weren't you in it?"

She said, "No, I stopped at the top of the hill at work, didn't put on the parking break because I didn't think the car would roll, walked down the hill to open the gate, turned around to see my car rolling towards me."

So my mother has been home all week sore and hardly able to move. On crutches as I mentioned. Luckily she was knocked down and the middle of the car rolled over her, not the tires, and she has escaped the incident with some bruises and scrapes. Thank God she wasn't paralized.

Anyway that is what is going on.

I hope to get back to the ex-posts soon.....

Curling Request....

2006-01-17T09:30:00.000-05:00

I've had a request to know what is going on in the Curling World.

Hooray! The championships are coming up:

2006 U.S. National Championships

Superior Curling Club * Superior, Wis. * Feb. 18-25, 2006

Hotel Headquarters: Barkers Island Inn

Reservations: 800-344-7515

Event chairwoman: Roberta Bergquist, 1-715-398-7452

Men's playdown entrants

Women's playdown entrants

Regional playdown schedule

More information can be found on curling at:

USA CURLING

Anyway, enjoy....

Blah.....

2006-01-09T13:21:00.000-05:00

Boy has my year sucked so far. It's January so it's an insane time for the inventory business. That's my part time job. Not to mention at my daytime job we have had an insane amount of work. Not many UCC filings but lot's of businesses filing assumed business names and withdrawing and such.....Very busy. Needless to say I'm exhausted.
I work all the time.

Last weekend was the worst though. I worked all day Friday and then went to an inventory with my Mom and sister. (Yeah, the family works with me.) Work was fine. After it was through, since it was Mom's birthday, and I drove separate, I went to Kroger and bought her a birthday cake. I stopped by the ice cream and saw some Edy's Ice Cream. The containers were blue, it was called Touch Down Sunday, and a picture of Tony Dungee, the coach of the Indianapolis Colts was on the container, so of course I bought some. So the weekend was off to a good start, I had Saturday morning off and Sunday morning as well. Finally chance to sleep. So I get home and my Mom and sister pull up behind me. However the house is all dark. How strange that Dad had the Christmas lights off already. They were on when we left. Taped to the door was a note from my sister that said this:

"Mom, Jess(they call me Jess because my name is Jessica), Jill,
The power is out. A flashlight and candles are by the door. Call my
Cell if you need me."

I thought, "Jesus, what a shitty birthday present!" I thought maybe the lines were just down, but my Dad said not, the house caught on fire sort of, there were sparks outside on the back porch where the power connects to the power pole? I don't know the technical term that's just what he said. Anyway, it was nothing the power company could fix. So anyway we didn't have cake, and I deposited the ice cream in the deep freeze hoping it would stay cold in there. So I read by candle light until I fell asleep. Saturday Mom had to work. That left Dad to take care of getting an electrician. Which he fought against. True to form, Dad lets Mom take care of everything. You could say about their relationship that she emasculates him but if he feels that way, he lets it happen. (Not that that has anything to do with this)
After many phone calls to Dad and him whining because the power doesn't work, Mom called my cell and asked me to take care of it. So I told him that Mom wanted him to take call an electrician. He eventually finally got out the phone book. Again he whined and said he would but every damn place was closed. I called one myself, the one Mom had tried and sure enough they were closed. I heard Dad in the other room leaving a message. Then he told me to sit by the phone and wait for them to call him back. So I waited. Eventually it all got straightened out and an electrician came out and worked on it. I was pretty proud of Dad for that. He really didn't want to call them, but he did.

Of course it was an expensive job. They came on Saturday after all. So now Dad's gonna bitch about that for a while.

Anyway, hopefully in a couple of weeks the year will get better when things calm down. Hey, I'm off Wednesday night.

Happy Holidays!

2005-12-27T09:42:00.000-05:00

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas!

I'm looking into getting cable internet for myself and my parents as well. Hopefully by the new year I can update more frequently.

My Christmas was alright. My boyfriend and I hung out and watched some newer Zombie movies (of course)he knows I like them so he looks for them.

The first was alright, it was called "Dead Men Walking." It's about a viral outbreak in a maximum security prison. Once the infection begins spreading in the prison, the prison is quarentined everyone is stuck with the infected individuals. If you are infected, you die and you come back to life. There's a scene when a woman and her two children are waiting in the waiting area to see the kids daddy you only assume, there is no explaination, just so you wonder, will they go there, will they kill children in this movie? Well, I guess you'll have to see it. It's pretty gorey, there are some disgusting scenes where people puke up there guts. That always grosses me out. It is clearly one of those that could have been a lot better. My problem, the infected guy who is put in the prison, well he was charged with a triple homicide, never convicted, the trial had not yet occured. They moved him to this maximum security prison with what the CDC(Center for Disease Control) thought was a pretty toxic infection. This seems pretty unrealistic to me. Not only that but a representative from the CDC, yes only one, pays a visit to the prison to question the infected prisoner. There was no character development whatsoever and I rooted for every person on the cast to die. Not to mention the fact that it seemed they filmed the zombies runing down one or two different hallways and they used these sequences over and over again to illustrate that the zombies were hot on the heels of the live people. Oh, and the acting was bad.
My favorite line from this film: "I don't enjoy killing my coworkers!"

The second movie was my favorite of the two. It was called, "Dead Life." I'm not saying it was a masterpiece or anything. The acting really wasn't the best.
The writing and editing could have been better. But it was shot on a really low budget. It was this film makkers first film ever. He planned to shoot it on super 8 then they thought they might us 16 milimeter, and super 8 was just plain cheaper.
The plot was pretty much the same sort of thing as all the latest zombie movies, a deadly virus is infecting everyone. A virus called Necrotizing Faceitis M is running rampant through Midwest America killing the living and reviving the dead. Life changes quickly for Maxx and his friends as survival becomes a struggle. The group is consumed one by one as Maxx prepares for his final face off with the walking dead.
The director is obviously a Romero fan, as our hero is holed up in an old house. It really was pretty funny in some places. All in all I thought it was the more entertaining of the two. Had they a bigger budget and good actors and better dialog, it might have been really good.

I'd have to say that of the two if I was going to buy one, I'd buy the second.

RENT

2005-12-05T12:18:00.000-05:00

Well, I saw "Rent" and I enjoyed it very much. Despite the fact that my sister was singing in my ear the whole time. She did the same when we saw it on stage. I wasn't suprised.

The movie is of coursed based on the Broadway Musical of the same name. It follows several artistic characters living in New York dealing with love, poverty and yes, AIDS.

Rent was based on the Musical "LA BOHEME"

It was great to see most all of the origional broadway cast in the show on screen.

They made Rent into more of a musical than an opera. There were a lot more speaking lines than on stage. The speaking lines were right out of the songs, so they eliminated songs but the lyrics remained in the movie. This made no sense to me. If you are going to cut it, cut it.

Another problem I saw, a minor problem was that they changed the fact that it was one big night that changed all their lives. One incredible night. In the movie the night was actually several days.

Other than those things, the movie was great.

Pride and Prejudice

2005-11-30T10:18:00.000-05:00

I'm a little behind in my movie reviewing I guess. I said that I saw Pride and Prejudice. Now what did I think about it?
Oddly, I didn't hate it. I didn't really think that I would but I liked it better than I thought I would.

When I heard Kiera Knightly was to play the part of Elizabeth Bennet, I couldn't believe it I would never have thought of her for that part. But she was alright except for the fact that she doesn't really have the build for the period in which the movie was set although they seemed to try. The costuming bugged me.

What we had here was a movie version of the book that is more of an interpretation than a faithful adaptation. They show the Bennetts' in a more impoverished environment, they are even more unrefined, and for some reason, Lizzie is more isolated than ever. She didn't have the relationship with Jane portrayed in many other adaptations I have seen, or as my sister and I discussed, the relationship they had in the book. Mr and Mrs Bennet's relationship seemed as though they were closer. There wasn't the cruelness towards his wife he'd shown before.

Oh yeah, and Darcy wasn't really Darcy. But he was hot.....

That said it's not a bad movie. I enjoyed it. I even cried a little at the end..... But if you are a big Pride and Prejudice fan and think they should strictly follow the story it's probably not for you.

Other recent adaptations of this book fans might want to see are,

Pride & Prejudice (2003) This movie translates the story to an American College town. It follows Elizabeth Bennet in college living with four other girls, but not her sisters. It is really silly and worth a watch.

Bride and Prejudice (2005)This movie is a Bollywood adaptation, but it's also British and American. The themes of the story translate very well into modern Indian society. In this one Lalita (Lizzie), has only three sisters, Kitty and Lydia being rolled into one girl. This film is visually stunning and a lot of fun, it had us wanting to get up and dance.

My favorite Pride and Prejudice is however the BBC Adaptation from 1994 the miniseries starring Jennifer Ehle and Colin Firth. I mean hello, he jumps in the river in a white shirt, and walks out of it soaking wet right up to an unsuspecting Lizzie and is caught off guard himself because he didn't know she'd be there. That's reason enough to see it right there, uh, for the ladies anyway, or men too, whatever floats your boat. Colin Firth is my favorite Darcy I mean, check him out:

Another brilliant adaptation is Bridget Jone's Diary. Not a strict adaptation at all, I read the book several times, I loved it, and then the movie, and the next book and the sequel, yeah, fabulous. And Colin Firth as Mark Darcy. That was fabulous. In the book Bridget had a thing for Colin Firth as Mr Darcy in the 1994 Mini-series and in the second book she even interviewed Colin Firth always of course in true Bridget fashion returning to his role as Mr Darcy and the wet shirt scene. So they had an extra on the DVD with Renee as Bridget interviewing Colin Firth as Colin Firth. Lot's of fun.

Tomorrow I might do a review on RENT.

Oh no! Say it isn't So!!!

2005-11-28T16:09:00.000-05:00

You might recall him as Arnold from "Happy Days" but most likely you know him as Mr. Miyagi from "The Karate Kid" movies. He will be missed.

Kind of ironic to die on Thanksgiving though.....

Happy Birthday Handsome Brother!

2005-11-18T09:21:00.000-05:00

My little brother's birthday was on the 15th of November. Did I call him? No, uh, but he didn't call me on my birhtday either. Did I devote a post to him? No, but I am now.....
So, Happy Birthday My Handsome Brother, wherever you may be! Oh, and when are you ever going to update your blog, the time travel post is getting so old!!!

And here is your present:

Your favorite Spice Girl, Emma Buntin! Enjoy!

Birthday

2005-11-14T14:43:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was my birthday, so as with every special event, my boyfriend took me out of town on a little get away.

Friday morning we left my house and went to lunch at Pizza King. Pizza King is a great pizza place where you pick your own table and at the table there is a video game system. You can put in quarters and play a video game or watch television. There is only one game per booth so you must choose wisely because if you end up hating it you are stuck. Or you could watch TV. You look at the menu and push the intercom button and they come on and take your order. Then when it's done, they bring it out. I have been to many a Pizza King. Some don't have televisions or intercom. Some of them, and these are called Grand Stations, Have a train that brings your drink to you. Those are really fun, you can watch other people's drinks go past you.

After lunch we got back in the car and he showed me the info on where we were going. All I knew was we were going out of town until Sunday, now I had the info in my hand. We were going to Vevay all the way down on the Ohio River.
Yeah, it's always a place we haven't visited before. We stayed in the Rosemont Inn, which is right on the river. It is a bed and breakfast set up in a nearly 200 year old house. When I saw it I loved it immediately. What my boyfriend had purchased was a self guided tour of three wineries located in or around Vevay. First when we got into the Inn the owner gave us a history lesson on the history of Vevay, and Switzerland County Indiana, in general. Then we were shown to our room:

Some very interesting things about the history of wine in America. The first wineries in America were in the Ohio River Valley, in Indiana. I hadn't heard that before. When they started Indiana was a territory, not a state. Currently Indiana has 38 wineries I believe. So thats what we did, we tried wine and enjoyed ourselves in a not so touristy area. In the past we usually went to the Brown County area and that has become so packed with people such that I can't stand it at all. I hate crowds. Where we stayed this time seems like the kind of place people should visit. Rather than Nashville, Indiana, which mostly those shops sell all the same things that I would pass by at a craft fair.

Anyway, we came back yesterday on my birthday. It's about a 2 hour drive from there to here. We stopped at Edinburgh Premium Outlet Mall to stretch our legs. It's a nice outdoor outlet mall. We hardly go in the shops, we just like the walk. We then got back in the car, after I stopped in the Simmons Winery Shop and bought 3 more bottles of wine, and we went on to Greenwood. We decided to try out Johnny Carino's for lunch. It was fabulous. Then we went to Half Price Books where I bought nothing. When we got back to the car, my it wouldn't start. See, these are the things that happen on my birthday. Boo hoo. Whatever. Anyway, my mommy came to get me and AAA came to my boyfriends aid. Then my sister wanted to take me to "PRIDE AND PREJUDICE" last night because she thought they had a 9:40 pm showing, wrong. So maybe we will go tonight. Instead we went to Best Buy where I was drawn by some unseen force to purchase "Day of the Dead 2: Contagium" (possible review coming soon) Which was actually not as bad as I thought it might be, yet not as good as it could have been.

Today was uneventful though, I read a little this morning. Went out for a bit, stopped at the Graveyard to visit my sister's grave, stopped at the old ones graves, just because I felt like it.

Anyway, all in all it wasn't a bad birthday.

But Sir, tornado season is over....Isn't it?

2005-11-07T10:51:00.000-05:00

Ok, tornados suck. I feel bad for those people in Evansville. How terrifying it must have been to be awakened, not by the alarms going off, because they did, but by your home being lifted off of the ground and being tossed about by the wind like a giant beach ball. One more reason not to live in a trailer park. We are no stranger to tornados here folks. I have these people in my prayers.

It's Fall!

2005-11-04T10:10:00.000-05:00

Ok, Fall is my favorite season, and not just because I was born in the fall.
My birthday is a week from Sunday so I will be off from work starting next Wednesday the 9th until the 14th of November. I always take a week off for my birthday usually around the weekend so I don't require so many vacation days. So WOO HOO! Six day weekend. Finally, maybe I will have time to move. I'm pretty proud at how organized my packing has been. I even packed my barbies up in the groupings I had them in. All the MY SCENES are together, The CALI GIRLS, HAPPY FAMILY, TUESDAY TAYLOR.....Okay, the last isn't a BARBIE, but it's loosely called a barbie collection, mostly barbies, but I have others. I really should post pictures.

I don't usually point out my links in the sidebar, I just figure if you are bored, you will click on them and I really didn't want to call attention to the LOCH NESS WEB CAM, It makes me sound like a freak, but some people might want to note the newest link, iNdReAmSbEtWeEn , it's my sister in college's blog, she might need some encouragement. Oh, and the Loch Ness Web cam over looks Loch Ness which is lovely. Only now that it is fall it gets dark there so much earlier.

COUNT DOWN TO RENT!

"RENT" Opens here on November 11th, I will be seeing it sometime after then. Check your local listings for showtimes and such. Unless you hate musicals or you saw "RENT" on stage and hated it.......I saw it on stage once and it was great!

Also in a couple weeks a new production of "Pride and Prejudice" will also be hitting the theaters. I still don't know where it will be showing, it will have a limited release on 11-11 and then all over on 11-23 I think for anyone who's interested. I personally love "Pride and Prejudice" and have to see every version. It's a compulsion.

Still Halloween

2005-10-31T15:21:00.000-05:00

Before he was Rhodes....

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

2005-10-31T10:49:00.000-05:00

So I already celebrated Halloween all weekend basically.

Saturday we watched some classics, "Carnival of Souls" and "White Zombie" to start.

This was followed by a rather regretful viewing of this film: (Just read the review I agree with it with all my heart!)
"'ZOMBIEZ"-13 out of 15 people found the following comment useful:-
The single worst movie I have ever seen, 13 July 2005

Author: JDawg171 from United States

I cannot believe this insult to the movie industry was ever made. I was always under the impression that a movie had to have a plot. I was wrong. Or was I? Can this even be considered a movie? Not in my opinion.

I love zombie movies. Love, adore, thoroughly enjoy. I would have rather sat through 7 hours of the Mighty Morphing Power Rangers than ever watch this movie again.

I want my dollar and six cents back that i split with a friend to rent this movie. Since when could zombies use weapons (that anyone can buy at the Halloween store come October time... you know, the outrageously fake looking sickles and dull gray plastic meat cleavers), have RATIONAL conversations with each other and their prey, sprint for 10minutes straight, and anger the viewer to such a degree that makes someone fart on the DVD itself? (true story)

Want confirmation that this is one of the worst movies ever? OK... here's a question you ask yourself to administer the "Worst Movie Ever" test. Is there a random person in a chicken suit being shot at for no reason? If you answered yes, this movie deserves the title "Worst Movie Ever". Sadly, for this movie, the answer is yes.

I don't know if this was designed to be a metaphor for the effects of drugs on people, or just the makers of the movie were high on crack themselves. I can't even list 1% of the things wrong with this movie. An unborn fetus could produce better work."~ from IMDB

After that, my sister came home and said, "Let's watch 'The Dead Don't Die'!" Well, we started too but it was so boring, so we watched 'Return of the Living Dead 4, Necropolis' Now, I slept part of the way through this film and still liked it better than 'Zombiez!'

Sunday I watched 'Night of the Living Dead' and 'Season of the Witch.'

That's about the extent of my Halloween festivities. I have to work tonight, so I can't celebrate. Feel free to share your Halloween activities.

Absent

2005-10-18T12:54:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I've been absent.
My moving is taking a lot longer than expected. It has been rather difficult to get a time to sit down and write a post. I've had many things I've wanted to post on but I've missed them now and can't remember. Basically, I cancelled my cable internet access at my old home and my parents only have dial-up which sucks, they also only have only one phone line. I don't like monopolizing their phone. My other option is to use my computer at work, but I've been really busy at work. I only just got a chance just now to post this during my lunch.

I finally saw "Serenity" and it was fabulous. It was everything I hoped for. Totally worth the wait of all the time between the cancellation of the show, "Firefy," and this film. Several times since it's release I have heard people talking in public that they are watching the entire show so they will be caught up before they see the movie. Later I heard these same people say the show is great, they can't beleive it was cancelled and the movie was wonderful and they will see it again and again. It is actually not necessary to watch the show first but that will give you back story and you will know a little more about what is going on, the movie starts where the show left off.

Now, it is October so I once again bought a collection of obscure Zombie movies. You know bargain movies. I got 5 movies on two discs. Most of them were strange and not at all what I would call zombie movies. It contained, "Night of the Living Dead," of course I already had this one but not on dvd; "The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave," I do think I had seen it before I don't think I had blocked it out, this time it was merely creepy; "Terror-Creatures from the Grave," this is the name they had on the box, it starred the lovely Barbara Steele whom I remembered from "Black Sunday," (the first movie to ever terrify me, chilled me to the bone, on Sammy Terry); "Isle of the Snake People" This one I could not watch all the way through, seriously I couldn't get past the creepy voo doo priest midget! Really creepy!!; "Messiah of Evil" which was at the very least entertaining. This last one had a "Carnival of Souls" sort of feel. Anyway that's my new Zombie movie collection.

I try to post again tomorrow

Let's shake things up a bit.....Life Chain

2005-10-04T12:40:00.000-04:00

I went to the Life Chain on Sunday. Just as I do every year for as long as I can remember. I stood on the sidewalk holding my sign. It said: Abortion Kills Children. Why, well it just seems like the most shocking sign I could hold. The other choices were, "Lord Forgive us and our Nation," "Jesus forgives," "Abortion hurts women." Just not the things I thought were shocking enough for me. Do I think I changed anyone's mind? Not really, but driving down the street seeing all those people holding those signs had to get people to at least talk about it.

I remember first learning about abortion in junior high school. Before that I didn't even know that women would get pregnant, not want there baby and then decide to kill it.....That's the way I saw it then, and it's no different now. People will explain it away by saying, it's not really a person yet. What you aren't a person until your born? Why is it so bad to hurt pregnant women, they don't have a child inside of them, it's not born yet....It is a developing human from the time the sperm and the egg get together. A human with no rights though. Hell, a convict on death row has more rights. We have laws protecting the likes of Ed Gein, Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy, Jeffrey Dahmer. Laws that say they aren't allowed to kill people but they did and got caught and were punished, but even that was in a humane fashion. Go Here to find out about these guys:
Crime Library
These laws say that we can't or couldn't (some of them are dead now) throw them in a deep dark pit somewhere to die. Not that I'm saying this is what we should do to serial killers, or murderers in general. I think they should have to live because that's a worse punishment to live with the guilt of knowing what you did. I just think prison should be prison.

But a developing fetus has no rights because it hasn't finished developing yet. It's life taken before it began, it's dreams unrealized.
It seems so unfair some women can do the deed, create life, and just because it is inside of her she thinks she has the right to keep it from becoming. I've always felt this was wrong. The whole my body my choice is taken out of your hands once you have sex and create life. The choice is the sex, the baby is the consequence you can be a grown up about it and take care of it or you can give the baby to someone who will want it and love it.

I just hope that we got people at least to think about it and to talk about it. It's important to talk about it with anyone you are seeing especially when sex is involved. I did. When I got together with my current boyfriend and we started having sex, I layed it all on the table, if I was to get pregnant, I would never have an abortion, and I would prefer to be married if we had kids. The marriage thing isn't that important to me anymore, but I will still never have an abortion. The result is we always use protection because neither of us really want kids. Now that goes against the Catholic Church, I know, but so does having sex before marriage. I'm not very Catholic anymore anyway, and that's a whole other post.

My beliefs are pretty absolute. There really isn't any changing my mind. One thing I heard at the life chain was a woman driving by yelled out here window "If Jesus forgive, then why does it matter?" This is an argument I've heard many times being raised Catholic. It comes from people who don't understand Catholicism. They hear about confessing ones sins and how you can be absolved of your sins an they think that all you have to do is go tell the priest anything you did wrong and you are forgiven. This is not true. Your sins aren't forgiven just because you confess them. You have to mean it. You have to truly be sorry for you sins to have true forgiveness. It matters, it really does. Besides, if you know it's wrong, why do it?

Serenity Now

2005-10-01T11:29:00.000-04:00

Ok, Serenity opened. I don't know when I'll get to see it. No one is available today and I have to work every night this weekend. I guess probably next weekend. I hate going to movies alone. So if you saw it, please just say it was good, but don't tell me what happens. Well unless you didn't like it, Which I don't see how that could be.

Anyway, I had a total "Dreamcatchers" (you know, the movie?) moment yesterday. I went to Long John Silver's to pick up dinner last night. In the parking lot, sitting by the side of the building, was a big fat woman in a sweat suit with a coat on and gloves and one of those hunting caps. She was just sitting there, just like in "Dreamcatchers" the big fat woman in the middle of the road. I really didn't think much of it except, weird, it wasn't so cold yesterday to require such gear. I came out and she was still sitting there. It was so creepy, especially when she turned her head and looked at me. I just got out of there because I didn't know if she was infected with some alien disease thing or anything that could happen.

SERENITY OPENS TOMORROW!!!

2005-09-29T12:40:00.000-04:00

Yes that's right Tomorrow.
Unfortunately I probably won't see it until Saturday. Boo hoo. I know some people are going to a sneak preview tonight but not me......I have to work. So, Homecoming, "Serenity," or work? Damn, can't get out of work. So either I have to count super fast spending no more than an hour in each store, or just deal and see it Saturday. I suppose I've waited this long, so what's one more day?

Count down to Serenity

2005-09-26T16:18:00.000-04:00

"Serenity" opens Friday!!! Serenity is the movie based on the short lived series "Firefly." This show only ran for most of it's first season. I say this because a few episodes never aired. Once it was cancelled FOX allowed them to skip to the final episode which was confusing because the unaired episodes would have explained a lot of the things that happened in the final episode. But that's what happens to shows on FOX. Basically what the show was a western in space. I feel the story is much better than "Star Wars" but I'm so tired of "Star Wars" Anyway, go see it. Um, not right now, it hasn't opened yet, see it Friday...

Emergency

2005-09-21T15:18:00.000-04:00

First off I have to apologize to people who may or may not already know of the information which I will soon impart. It isn't a very good way to hear it but here it goes.....
I learned a couple of weeks ago at a barbeque for RGIS employees. I walked up to my district manager and he says, "So, I hear you are gonna be an aunt again." to which I replied, "I am? It's news to me!" Now I had noticed the tell-tale bulge of her tummy. I just wasn't sure if she was fat, or pregnant. It's rude to ask a woman when she's due, if you don't know whether not she's pregnant. I thought with the stress she might just be packing on a few pounds. I suspected it was most likely that she was pregnant though, me being all negative and stuff. What would be the worst thing for her to do, have another baby with her moron. Later on I spoke with my Mother who quickly replied, sort of angrily I might add, "He wasn't supposed to tell anyone that." Ding ding ding! We have confirmation.
So this is kind of important to what happened last night. Just keep reminding yourself while you are reading this, "But she's pregnant!"

Quite frequently when I get home I hear arguing upstairs from their room. I never know when the arguing started. I don't know if I'm a trigger or not. Frankly I don't give a damn. Last night was no exception though. My sister Judy and I got to my future former home and of course there was arguing. I heard his most often shouted phrase "Shut up!" Right after I heard the baby make a sound. Then I headed up the stairs because that's where the restroom is and I heard a crash, followed by Jennifer saying, "What did you do that for? That was stupid!" I went downstairs and Judy said that Jennifer told her they broke a glass. Soon we heard more arguing. Couldn't hear a lot of what was said. We were on alert though. Soon we heard a commotion from up there. Judy headed up the stairs asking if everyone was alright. She heard from Jennifer, "If you don't care, why don't you just leave?" Then Judy knocked on the door and asked if she was alright, Jennifer emerged from the room and said, "I'm ok, he's leaving." She took the baby and went down the stairs to the basement. I was downstairs the whole time. Judy was upstairs, he came out and she said, "Dude, you better just go." He said, "I don't have to listen to you, this is none of your business." He screams, "Jenn-Fer!" Because he doesn't know there's an I in there. He comes down the stairs still yelling the name he calls her by. I say, "Just leave." He says, "I don't have to I want to talk to Jennfer." I say, what you need to understand is, this is our fathers house, not yours, you have no power here. You have no rights." He says, "Shut up!" He goes out the door and yells, "JENNFER!" Judy closes and locks the door. He says, "Let me in! I'll sit out here all night!" I call our father and ask him to come over as soon as he gets home. He keeps asking us to let him in and says that Jennifer has to take him to his friends house. I say, "You can't come in until our father gets here and it's doubtful he'll let you in." Jennifer then comes back upstairs with a basket of clothes. I say, "Don't you dare open that door." He says, "Jennfer you got ta take me ta Keith's! SHUT UP! I'm not coming in." Jennifer goes to the door, (Remember, she is pregnant!) He assures her that she opens the door he won't come in. So she unlocks the door goes to pull it open and he pushes his way in the house and she falls to the ground (but she's pregnant!!!! Yeah, he's the best father ever!) Luckily by this point we told her that if she's gonna go we would watch the baby. So Judy was holding him. Barry says, "I have to have my clothes!" He runs upstairs. I call my dad again and tell him that Barry knocked Jennifer down. Dad doesn't know she's pregnant, I didn't tell him that at that time either. He'd see soon enough anyway. Judy and I made our way out the door with the baby and the car seat, to my car. We got in the car. Locked the doors put the baby in his seat, strapped it down and he came out the door and says, "Do they have MY baby? If they take off with MY baby I'm calling the cops." Now I'm thinking, what's he going to tell them? We kidnapped his kid right after he knocked our pregnant sister on the ground? Yeah, cause that's my defense, he was ranting and raving and dangerous, I'd do it again, I'd take that baby anywhere to make sure he was safe from that behavior. Jennifer looked at us, pleadingly and mouthed the words, just go. She had to keep him from the car, he was running at it trying to get in. As you may have guessed, Jennifer was unable to escape with us. We got to my parents house I was still shaking, but we were safe. Now we just had to worry about Jennifer and hope our Dad got there before they left. 20 minutes later our Dad comes home and asks what the hell is going on so we tell him. He says they weren't there when he got there. He was pissed though. He took Judy and went back there to get formula for the baby and some clothes. As he left, he said, "Nobody messes with my kids!!!" Then he packed up some of Dumbasses things and left a note on the door that said he was no longer welcome in the house and he should take his things and leave. Judy said when she was in the room there was a hole in the wall and she realized that they didn't break a glass, they broke glass, he broke the light bulb in the ceiling fan. The ceiling fan which is just over their bed. The bed that they were most likely all sitting on. Or laying, I don't know. There was glass from the bulb everywhere on the floor. So he smashed his fist into the drywall. I don't know if he did it yesterday or another time. It's been weeks since I'd been in that room. Judy didn't find the formula. So I took my other sister Jax with me and we went back to the house and found the note on the door. We must have just missed dad. We went in the house found the formula and took my computer as well. Reason being, I felt it necessary to remove something expensive from the house before he got back and was pissed and started destroying things. It felt good taking the computer. I don't know what my mom is going to say. I know what I will say to her though, "You wanted him out, you wanted an excuse to get rid of him, there it is." I had to go to work last night then after all that crap. Jax told me Judy talked to Jennifer later who said something like, "I think I'm going to forgive him." So Judy said what she's said to Jennifer a number of times, "I don't want to go to your funeral, be careful." Personally I don't want to bury another sister. He may think later on after he's hurt somebody that he didn't mean to do it and that he's sorry. But what good is sorry and I didn't mean to when it's done. When he's killed. I really don't want to bury another sister, and I don't want to bury any neices or nephews either. That's where it looks like we may be headed. So I suppose I'll hear more of the battered woman's mantra once more, "He said he's sorry and he'll never do it again." But if she says, "He said that he wouldn't of had to do that if you hadn't locked the door." Damn, I'd have to punch her myself, except she's pregnant.

Ex # 4

2005-09-16T00:45:00.000-04:00

For this ex we take a flash back to my sophomore year. This was the year I met Matt. That year also coincided with the time I dated Joe. I was allowed to talk with Matt because he was friends with Joe. Matt was a freshman that year. He was kind of an awkward at this point in his life. He looked really nerdy. He was tall, very thin, with short red hair and glasses. But who cares how he looked. I became pretty good friends with him at the time. I remained friends with him all through high school. My senior year, after being single for a while, I started dating Matt. By this time he was transformed. I'm not saying he was gorgeous by this point. He was still tall and thin, but his hair was long and he looked cooler. He didn't look nerdy. Looks have never been that important to me. The point is, he had always had a good heart.
So I gave him a shot.

Once again it was a fairly uneventful relationship. That year, I had started my first real job. I began to work for an inventory company called R.G.I.S. It's not bad if you want to get all your hours for the whole week in just a couple of days and have the rest of the week off. I mostly worked on weekends. I remember one specific occasion when he forced me against my will to watch "Braveheart." I can't remember why I didn't want to see it but I really did like it when I gave it a chance. He of course teased me because I was really tired that night from working and he thought I was sleeping. He kept turning the movie off and saying, seriously now, stay awake! At school we had the same lunch period, or our lunch periods overlapped. Uh, it was strange, there were 4 normal lunch periods. They were a half hour each. They started at 11am the last to be completed at 1pm. My lunch was from 11:45am to 12:15pm. How? Because I had the non-existant 5th lunch some called the Channel 1 lunch. It was at this time that they showed the high school news program called Channel 1. I never saw Channel 1 because I was at lunch. Now, lunch didn't always work like that. Just my senior year. I don't know what they do now. They might even have like 6 lunches now. The other half hour during lunch hour like say your lunch was at 11am, at 11:30am would then be your resource period, or as most people might call it, study hall. I didn't have one of those either. I had 8 classes. You only had a normal lunch and Channel one if you had 7 classes.

Anyway, while we were in high school, everything was fine. He took me to the prom. Which of course was lame. The prom that is. I had this really cool dress that I absolutely loved. My older sister Jennifer took me to Sears and we looked and looked and found it and it was perfect. My younger brother said it looked like curtains but he's a boy so who cares what he says. The really sweet thing that Matt did was he asked my friend Megan what my dress looked like. My dress was gold with black accents and the straps were black velvet. He went out to get his tux which included a vest that was black with gold accents. Pretty cool. It looked like we went out together and planned it. He did it as a suprise though. The prom itself was pretty stupid. It was held in a hotel in a really small banquet room. But what my school always did was, we went to the school and left our cars there got on a bus with our dates to get there and afterwards we went back to the school for after prom where they locked us all in the school until it was I don't know 3am? Then they set us loose to go home. Whatever, it was really stupid.

The problems didn't come until after, when I was in college and just didn't want to go out with a high school boy anymore. He was always busy with high school stuff and I was busy with college stuff, so it just wasn't working. He didn't see it that way. He was pretty rude a lot of the time.

I moved out of my parents' house the day I graduated from high school. It was just something I did. I wanted to get away from all the kids because I finally could since I wasn't in high school so I left. I moved in with my Grandmother. My older brother had been away at college in Florida. He graduated and came home that summer. Then our Uncle Joe moved out of my parents' other house so my brother and I moved in there. One of his friends were supposed to move in to but he changed his mind. When we got possession of the property back, it was totally trashed. I have pictures of some of our demolition somewhere I should post them. We had to do a lot of work. Matt came over to help a lot.

Then I started hanging out with my brother and his friends and I had the college thing going on and Matt wouldn't understand all that stuff. I think the biggest problem with the relationship was that it was doomed from the start. See because I was still messed up from the whole Tom thing. I wasn't really able to ever connect with Matt as I had with Tom. I wasn't able to do that with anyone for a really long time in fact. It's not that I wanted Tom still, it was that I was too scared to love someone that much only to lose him again.

Progress

2005-09-09T07:25:00.000-04:00

Yesterday afternoon I took a step towards my own freedom of the burden of living in this house. I went down to the utilities and told them if the no one called to have the name changed by September 30th to turn everything off. Yeah!! Now if big sis Jennifer and her moron don't go and get it taken care of it is there own fault. What's their problem. Well in their last apartment, they weren't current with their utility bills. In fact lived for a while with no gas. Then when they got that back, they lost their electricity. So when they left, they once again were not current. So they have a balance on their account. My fear is that my Mom will take care of it for them. I hope she won't they won't change if we keep helping them. They may not change anyway, but if they are to, helping will only hurt.

Life Changes

2005-09-05T22:20:00.000-04:00

Anyone who has been reading this blog for a while knows I've been having several problems with my housemates. One in particular. My sister's boyfriend. I become physically ill when I'm in his presence. I get totally panicked and freak out. If he looks at me funny, or at all or tries to talk to me., I totally panic and blow up at him. And why is it this way? One night I was sleeping and I heard yelling downstairs.
At the time my sister was still pregnant. I was concerned, so I went downstairs, and he, my sister's boyfriend was totally drunk and out of control. I already thought he might get violent, he has a criminal record. Criminal mischief, getting into fights and such. Adding alcohol into the mix just spells trouble. Plus, when my sister first started dating him, she said she thought he drank to much. Now she says he doesn't have a drinking problem.

Why did I let them move in here. One day my sister calls me and says her boyfriend is in jail for non-payment of child support. (He didn't pay because he suspected that his ex was using the money to buy drugs. Who gives a shit, he has to support his kids and they are fed and clothed, she was getting the money from her parents, she had to get it somewhere, their daddy is a dead-beat loser.) The reason she called was because her living situation had become unbearable. Her boyfriend and his gay best friend (whom I think was/is in love with her boyfriend) had been fighting a lot lately. That morning in fact they came to blows. There was throwing things and fists and such. (Some more of the violent tendencies.) Her boyfriend had in fact thrown a full two liter bottle of soda at their house mate, leaving a dent in the mall. (Crazy right?) Well by her own admission her boyfriend had already been drinking that morning. He told his buddy to move out. Went so far as to throw his buddy's sofa out on the porch. Now that her boyfriend was in jail, she was concerned that she would not be able to make her bills. So silly me, I say move in with me, I have plenty of room. She then would not have to worry about his friend who might attack her. When we got to her place. To make sure she was okay that night, the house mate was outside on his sofa. We said, good evening. He said, go to hell. (NICE) These are the kind of people my sister is associating with still to this day.

Fast forward, about a week later, the boyfriend somehow gets out of jail. So my act of charity turns into an act of stupidity. The agreement between us, if he causes trouble, destroys things, throws things breaks things, he's out. I didn't want any of that mess that I saw at their apartment. Then the night I mentioned above happened. I totally freaked out. I was scared because I had never been around that before. I called my sister Judy. She's a lot more willing to say some of the things I won't say. She's kind of like my rock sometimes. Oh, and she lives across the street. I couldn't stop shaking all night, she stayed with me all night. The next day I could hardly function at work. It shook me that bad. I was nervous about him before. He's one of those people that always has the appearance of being drunk, you know like Ozzie Osborne. Now I was terrified. I went to my Grandma's house directly after work that day, and spoke with her. Then I stopped in at my house and realized he was there, and I was alone in the house with him. So I freaked out and went to my parents house. My Mom pretty much calls the shots. She said, give it another try. Blah blah blah. She means well but she wants to make everyone happy which is impossible.

There have been several occasions where we have gotten into verbal arguments. Many times he has said that he doesn't give a shit for anyone in Jennifer's family, he just has to take care of him and his kids. Uh, he was doing such a good job too. From the time they moved in here, last September until now, he was unemployed more often than not. Leaving Jennifer to pay for everything. Except she didn't. I've been paying all the utilities on this house. It's not a small house, it's not a big house, but it's an old house, it's drafty and it needs new windows and you lose a lot of heat in the winter. It costs a lot to heat it, especially when it has to be warm for the baby. For just me I'll keep it at 63 all winter, but with the baby, impossible. I wouldn't have stayed with someone who would disrespect my family so bad. My parents sat and talked with both of them, my father said that Barry (the loser) was not to drink while living in this house. Jennifer was not to buy him alcohol. He drank, she let him. One occasion, he drank an entire 750ml bottle of SKY VODKA. In one day. (Ewwww! Now you could go through a bottle of vodka in a day, if you are having a party.)What was so outrageous about it was that my boyfriend bought the bottle of vodka for my younger sister for her 21st birthday. She put it in my freezer, unopened, thinking it would be safe. Also she would most likely be drinking it here anyway. She went to retrieve it and it was all gone. When she had the opportunity to confront Jennifer about it, Jennifer said she drank it and she'd buy her a new one. Uh, right, lying for the loser. Why would she be drinking vodka when Barry was so inept in caring for the baby. One occasion when Jennifer and I were at work, Barry was watching the baby, my younger sister came over and was watching tv downstairs. She got there between 4 and 6 pm and stayed until 10pm. She said the baby cried the entire time. She heard no movement towards the baby. She heard Barry say shut the fuck up to the baby. She heard the tv volume upstairs go up so loud it was if she was in the room. Then Barry ran down the stairs into the kitchen, got a bottle out of the fridge and screamed, take it. When Jennifer was questioned about this she said it was her fault, she shouldn't have left the baby with him, he was tired. (What the?) I don't get it, he's the daddy, who cares if you are tired, that's neglect pure and simple.

Many more unpleasant times have occurred since he moved in here, like when he was in jail again, that was the best time, then he got out and damn it, it sucked worse. I saw alcohol around the house, not mine, I keep mine hidden in my room.
The last straw was when my Dad asked if he was drinking and I said I had no hard evidence. Came home to see a whole shelf of beer in the fridge. I took a picture and took it to my parents the next day. But not before taking all the beer out of the fridge, placing it on the floor and posting a sign saying he couldn't have beer in the fridge, it's my fridge, so there. The sign didn't say so there, but I have every right to say no to it. Especially since my parents, the landlords, both agreed, and got his word that he was not to drink. I came home that night and was shocked. He not only put the beer back, he put up a sign on the fridge door that said and this is exactly the note he wrote, punctuation and all, capitalization exactly what he wrote:

"Please Do not toucH my Stuff i dont toucH yours, you want to think im Drinking why dont you Count the Beers every day i dont talk to you please don't talk to me(my keyboard didn't come with an upside down exclamation point but he put two here) Thank you"

Yeah he's a genius. On top of his beer was a second note:

"You touck my Stuff(upside down exclamation point) Guess what im here all day, im going to touck yours,
Leave me alone"

He's clearly a moron. I'm not saying my grammer and spelling and all that is always perfect but an upside down exclamation point and he couldn't spell touch on the second note, and the capitalization, I would have laughed if he hadn't been threatening me.

Then wrote another note and placed it on there. I kept his notes, for evidence and immediately called my mommy. She was finally reasonable on the Barry subject. She'd say she'd tell them to move out. Which didn't exactly work, they are never going to leave. She said she would get Jennifer's assurance that he wouldn't mess with my things. I have a rather large Barbie collection in the house. None really valuable, yet anyway. Not to mention, my whole life is in this house. I've practically lived here my whole life. My mom promised me to call Jennifer right after getting off the phone with me. She must have, Jennifer came down and got the beer the next morning. I found my note in the garbage again, on it he scribbled:

"Baby Touch it see what happens Grow up"

Well, I was merely removing contraban from the refrigerator, Which in actuallity I didn't even have to let them use. Besides, he's the one that started so many petty fights because I looked at him funny. Or, I said "The." Or I said that ALF was a puppet. I can't get over the fact that he thought ALF was a dog.

So I talked to my mom again, and she agreed to let me move into their house. They have a room there they aren't using at the moment. I feel really good about this for me anyway. I'm nervous about what will happen to the house without me there to guard it. Unfortunately I won't have room for everything, like my stove and refrigerator.

Anyway, that's all I have to say on the subject so if you are confused, just ask...

Ex #3

2005-09-04T19:29:00.000-04:00

It was at this point in my life when I had dated two guys fairly close together in time. I didn't really want to rush into any new relationships. So I just kind of played the field. I sort of dated a guy named Abe. He kind of had what people call ADD nowadays. He was all over the place. I didn't know if it was because he was 2 years younger than me or if he was just that way. We kind of hung out a lot together at band camp, got to know each other, or rather, I got to know him. He didn't seem to retain any of the information that he gained from our conversations. I found myself telling him things about my life and family over and over again. But he was just a transitional guy but not really all that useful to that effect. It was a lot more work than I wanted to put in. Technically we never went on any dates. Directly after band camp he went to the east coast to be in some play. He was an actor.....So he went to be in a play. He was gone for two weeks. When he got back after a couple more phone calls having the exact same conversations, I dropped him. In the band he was a percussionist, a drummer more precisly. I never dated one of them again.

This relationship was hardly worth mentioning, except that I'm trying to illustrate how all none of my ex-boyfriends are total losers. I'm sure they all went on to be great. Abe was a talented actor.

Ex #2

2005-08-29T16:36:00.000-04:00

Tom was my best friend. From the first time we met we had instant chemistry.
As time went on we became closer and closer. This was why I was cautious to begin a relationship with him when we were freshmen. We talked about it after we got together and we agreed that freshmen year was not a good time. We were not mature enough to handle what our relationship could potentially grow to be. So we remained friends only.
All through my relationship with Joe, Tom was the one I turned to when I needed a friendly ear, someone to talk too. He was always objective, despite the fact that he did still like me, he never told me to break up with Joe, he always advised that I try as hard as I could to work it out with Joe. He read every "poem" I wrote, including the stupid stuff I wrote in elementary school and would say, either, that was great, I can't wait for the next one, or that's fucked up, let's talk about why you feel that way. Joe didn't really get any of that stuff, didn't really seem interested in reading anything. Tom was pretty much, everything. He's the one I credit as my first BIG LOVE. I loved Joe, but not the same way, it was more a respect thing with Joe. With Tom, there was respect as well as a physical attraction. I had no physical attraction to Joe.
The relationship was uneventful. We went out alot. Tom was an excellent kisser.
Eventually though as things go, our individual emotional baggage was overwhelming. We talked about our personal stuff alot. We talked all the time. It started to get to him, I was such a mess. Most everyone went to him with their problems. He always knew just what to say. I think he thought my problems were too big. I wasn't in a place where I had come to understand my own situation, why my childhood sucked so bad. He knew I couldn't deal, he knew he could do nothing. Or maybe we just grew apart. I was very negative at the time, about myself. I saw no future for myself.
You see, when I was a freshman, my plan was to become a physical therapist one day. Then when I got old enough I could care for my sister, Joyce who would always need that sort of care. Then on Father's Day 1993, Joyce drowned in the family swimming pool. I was totally lost. I only wanted to do the physical therapy thing for her. So anyway, I saw a big, blank, a black hole....I just wanted it to end. And to be with Tom, but he wanted something else. He had his only problems wearing him down, he couldn't carry mine. That's what he said, he had to work on his head and get it cleared, then he would be ok for me again. He didn't say at the time that it was over forever...He gave me hope, the bastard. Oh well.... It happens. I never knew if actually he found another girl and didn't want to tell me. I didn't want to know that anyway. We didn't go all the way, if that was why he broke up with me, he should have just said something, I would have...
After we broke up, we remained friends. He used the same tactic that I used, the distance thing, giving space. It didn't suck. For a long time I wished he had died because it broke my heart that he'd still be alive and not want to be with me.

Elevators

2005-08-26T07:39:00.000-04:00

I wanted to take a break from all the reminiscing so here goes.

I was riding in an elevator just the other day when it struck me kind of funny.
Today people try really hard to avoid having to talk to other people. Such as, pay for gas at the pump so you don't have to go inside and pay a clerk, self-check out lanes at many stores. Yet, we will stand in a hallway and wait for these big doors to open, cram a bunch of people in a tiny room when the doors open, and then ride up together while people get off at their floors, all the while not saying a word to one another. In fact the more people that get off, the further apart people will move. Person A ends up in one corner while person be winds up diagonally in the other corner. This allows the riders to be as far apart as possible.
The other silly thing is that many buildings are designed with the elevators bay being part of the hallway. If a person wants to get to the other end of the building, one must walk around all the people waiting for the elevator. It is much like an obstacle course at times. Also while waiting for the elevator people will stand there staring off into space, avoiding eye contact with all other people waiting, so as to avoid any human contact whatsoever.

The other thing I thought was so funny with avoidance is, we try so hard to do it yet we will go into a room and pull our pants down to use the restroom with nothing more dividing us than a partition. I thought of this many times using public restrooms. It's so funny. Also people seem to like to talk on their cell phones on the toilet. I never talk on the phone while I'm on the toilet. Well except that time I got a bloody nose for no apparent reason, maybe it was really dry around then, but I couldn't get it to stop! It bled for hours so I called my mom. It's kind of scary when all that blood is coming out and you can't stop it. Only I wasn't on the toilet I was leaning over it so I wouldn't get blood everywhere. I don't know why I thought of it. Also I see so many people that don't wash their hands after going to the restroom. YUCK! Why not avoid people, if you touch them you might get a disease because they don't practice proper hygiene.

Anyway, I'll post my next ex post this weekend.

The Time Between

2005-08-22T07:36:00.000-04:00

Shortly after things between Joe and I were finished, Tom and I discussed an incident that occured at McDonald's that put everything into perspective.
One day after school we went to McDonald's before some sort of band function. I asked Joe to go up to the counter to get something for me, I don't know what that's not important now. He did but he came back with an empty bag. Tom said that I deserved someone who would bring me what I wanted and not just the container it came in. It was such an epiphany. Guys will promise you the world but often come empty handed, sneaky, palms closed, untrustworthy. Whatever, it made sense then. I'm not materialistic, it's just a metaphor. Mostly I was tired of the same old thing, defending my friendships which I didn't feel needed to be defended.

I didn't get together with the next guy right away. I hung out with my friend Amy alot. We would go out with Tom and one of his friends. Mostly Ben A. at this point. Cause, Amy liked Ben. It was at this time I know Tom did still want to date me. He had dated another girl our sophomore year while I was with Joe. By his own admission he thought it would make me jealous. Didn't really work, she was one of my friends and he was a great guy, mostly I was happy for her, and him because she was a great girl. I don't really get jealous.

On one occasion during that summer, a friend named Mark was going away to Germany for the year so he had a party. He was a mutual friend of mine and Joe's, so Joe was there. Tom couldn't make it because he was on a family vacation so I went with Amy. During the party, I gave Joe his space. I didn't want to force anything, he might still be mad and what would a scene accomplish. I had nothing to say to him. I did say we could still be friends so not talking to him at the party really angered him. I didn't exactly ignore him, I just stayed away from him. On the way to the car, we walked past a swing set, the party was at a park, Joe was swinging with one of his friends. He said loudly something like, "Oh look, she won't even talk to me anymore! She said we'd still be friends!" It was very uncomfortable, but warranted, I felt anyway. He didn't understand my method, what I was doing was trying to give him space but he wanted to talk, about what? There was nothing to say. He clearly wasn't in the right mind to be civil, so I really said nothing, I just walked to the car. Amy tried to calm him down, I don't really know what she said to him but it worked, she was good at that. Tom was irritated that he hadn't been there I don't know why, I thought I handled it fine.

By the end of the summer, Tom and I were dating. This was cemented by the experience we had at band camp. Now get your minds out of the gutter, not all band camps are like that of "American Pie!" All during band camp I was ill with some sort of sickness that made me really really tired. I would get short of breath and unable to march. I got to ride in the gimp mobile. Which was just a van that the asthmatics and the dude who twisted his ankle, or something like that, rode back to the dorm in.
One night I went into shock. I got all the way to my room, with Ben and Amy helping me, and then I went down. The had to carry me back to the elevator and get me back down to the lobby. They laid me down on a bench just in time for the band to come in the building, and Tom kind of freaked out he was so scared, that's kind of sweet. They pulled the geek mobile around front and Amy and Ben rode with me to the hospital. Tom didn't go because Amy said he'd be to upset and upset me more. Anyway we sat around the waiting room in the er and found I had Bronchitis. Lot's of fun. It got me out of practice. So it was really late at night by the time we got back to the dorm. I called my Mom who was really upset. I think she cried. Weird. Then Ben and Amy took me to Tom's floor where he had waited all night by the elevator for me to come back. Then I went to bed.

After that the summer was pretty much over and we were dating. So stay tuned for that...

Ex # 1

2005-08-12T07:18:00.000-04:00

I apologize for taking so long posting this. I've had stressful things going on in my home life lately.

My first boyfriend's name was Joe. (Not the Joe that sometimes comments on my blog from over at batteryboost, although he is one groovy guy.) By this time, I was a sophomore and he was a junior. We were both in our high school marching band. He was the Drum Major.

Looking back now, I think the biggest reason I went out with him was that he asked me. That sounds bad now, but at the time I didn't realize that. At the time I figured, he's a nice guy and he likes me and he was not my best friend so how can I ruin it. So we went out. The I don't remember many specific dates we went on. I remember in the beginning he didn't have a driver's license, but he had a learners permit so his dad would nap on the back seat while he drove.

Now, this year we had a brand new band director who wanted to take the band to another level, marching in competitions and such. The band was split in two, the juniors and seniors wanted the band to stay a party band and not to have to work so hard. They didn't like the new directors manner. Then you had the freshmen and sophomores who weren't as into the party band thing, we liked the idea of competition.

Joe was kind of weak minded in that he didn't know what to think, until a little bird we shall call Dora because that was her name, only she wasn't a bird, told him that the band director wasn't good and that he should hate him and he should hate me because I liked the new way. Our first fight was around the Cathedral open house that fall. The director, let's just call him Mr. H, ordered a new trombone to play so he'd have a better instrument. Joe said he just did it to suck up to him. Mr. H just wanted him to be happy and have a good instrument. Anyway somehow we got through that mess.

Another problem we had while dating was that he was incredibly jealous. My best friend was a guy in my class named Tom, the guy from my first date. I also had a lot of female friends I would talk to in the hallway between classes. Joe would only notice/mention when he saw me talking to guys, especially Tom. No matter how many times I told him that I was with him and with him only and all my male friends were just that, friends, he would always come back to that every time he saw me with them.
The frustrating thing is he had a lot of female friends that he sometimes seemed to let dictate what he did. Like one time, we were supposed to go out on a date, after he got his driver's license and his friend Dora didn't want us too, she wanted to get herself and a couple other friends together to hang out, just friends, no couples. This was just one of her many ploys to split us up because she just didn't like me. I don't know why, I think I posed a threat because I told him to think for himself.

As far as sex, we never did that, we kissed, he was an awful kisser. I didn't know that right then, I'd never kissed anyone but him, I was highly disappointed in kissing.

I lost count of how many times we broke up. Every time we broke up my friends would just say, yeah, but for how long this time? Every time I broke up with him, because I always broke up with him., it was because it was bad, he accused me of cheating or something like that. All I know is when we first got together, we smiled all the time, when it was over, it was hard and we never smiled. Every time we got back together, we smiled for a period, happy for a time. He said he would not be jealous and he always was.

One of the times after we broke up and we were on friendly terms. He came up to me while I was talking to Tom in the hall. Tom was telling me that the entire Star wars trilogy was playing back to back at General Cinema at Clearwater Crossing Friday night and did I want to go. Joe then got himself invited. My parents said I could go, but Joe's said no. After we got back together Joe accused me of going on a date with Tom while we were dating. I said, one, this was not a date, and two we were broken up just like in friends when Ross told Rachel: "WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!" Only totally different because who knew if we were getting back together.

The final straw, the last time I broke up with him was when prom came around. I didn't want to go, I just naturally assumed that he would take me. He told me that his dad said I was too young to go to prom. So he decided to take his other friend. Without consulting me. I heard about the alternate date and the dad comment at the same time. So that was it. I later heard that his parents thought I was a bad influence. When I told another friend this, he just laughed and said he wondered what a good influence was then. I don't think his parents ever really liked me much. They were strange people, Joe would come to school and tell me how his dad said something about me and he got into a fight with him. Not an argument a fist fight. So at least he fought for me one time. Not with his friends, and not with me, just with his father who placed extremely high expectations on him.

He really was a good guy, we were just young. He let people tell him what to do and what to think. That's not who I wanted to be with and that was the whole problem.

First date

2005-08-08T18:00:00.000-04:00

I've decided to share my dating experiences in a series of posts.

My first Date:
This is not the first time I was asked out, just the first time I didn't pretend that I hadn't heard the proposition. (that was a double negative, whoopsy!) In high school you do some weird things, I wasn't ready to date so yes, a couple times a guy asked me out and I kind of ignored it. When he asked me about it later I said I hadn't heard, but that's another post.

My first date was with a guy that I liked a lot, we had become really great friends, best friends even. He assumed we should take it to the next level and date, however, insecure me, blah blah blah, I thought it would ruin our friendship, and all the stuff like, why would he want to go out with me, I'll just ruin it, let's just be friends. I sabotaged the date even. I finally, after much coercing from my female friend, (she wanted to go out with his friend who didn't have a date and he would go out with her, would have been a total mercy date, she had no chance in hell with him.)I agreed to go. We were to go to the Christmas dance. Now, I had a dance phobia, dances sucked in jr high, why should high school be any different. I finally said, let's go see the movie "Alladin" instead. So we did. After that we didn't go out again but were just friends. I was too scared at the time that I would mess it all up. We did like the movie, nothing exciting happened on the date, we were 15 for goodness sake, just a movie and dinner.

Anyway, that was my first date. I'll get my first ex-boyfriend up in a day or two.

Sorry about the quality of my camera...

2005-08-03T11:47:00.000-04:00

Work Out!

2005-08-02T21:34:00.000-04:00

I'm very proud of myself, I have been constantly bothered by the fact that it has been so difficult for me to loose weight. So finally, instead of wondering why, I have taken action. Monday when I got home from work I dragged out my Nordic-Track and put it some place accessible and now I plan to use it every morning when I wake up. I may need some encouragement because I'm lazy and easily discouraged. Don't get me wrong, I do not now nor have I ever seen myself as fat, but I am out of shape. This is the biggest reason. I need to nip this in the bud before I cross over to the other side, the fat side. So yeah me for not sitting back and doing nothing, yet again.

Vacations

2005-07-28T20:13:00.000-04:00

This year I've decided that instead of taking an actual vacation, I will take several mini-vacations.

I don't know what some of them will be but the first happened on Tuesday.

My younger sisters and I took a day trip to Paramount's Kings Island. We had a great time except for the fact that we went in the middle of the heat wave. We didn't have long just until 3pm central time. We pretty much stayed in one area of the park. So we could get in as much ride time as possible and very little walk time. We hit most of the newest attractions such as: Face Off, Drop Zone, Italian Job, and some of my old Favorites, Like Flight of Fear. Flight of Fear was hyped up big time when it was opened, and I believe the entire name for the ride was Outer Limits Flight of Fear. It opened up less than ten years ago. The interesting thing about the ride is it is a roller coaster that is totally indoors, oh and on as hot a day as Tuesday was, it was really cool because you get to wait in an air conditioned building for the ride. It's set up like a Flying saucer in a hanger, uh, you know, AREA 51. When my two sister's hadn't been on the ride saw the train take off, the youngest, Jax, had a look on her face like, HOLY CRAP! It was funny, she asked if it went that fast the whole time, of course I said yes. After the ride she said it was the ride that was the scariest for her. My favorite is the roller coaster, I love the trill and the death defying stuff. The great thing is none of my sisters could tell when I was scared or not, I'm a screamer, I scream from the time the ride takes off to when we pull back into get off. Hah! Well a good time was had by all.

My next trip, most likely will be to see the Monroeville Mall in Pennsylvania. Now if you think that sounds silly, you must not know what it is. Anyone that's been reading my blog knows I'm a huge zombie movie fan. My favorite is the origional version of "Dawn of the Dead," which was filmed in an actual mall. That is correct, I will be visiting the mall the movie was filmed in. I know it doesn't look the same, the Ice Skating rink is gone, all that stuff, but, I will be there. That's the cool thing. I also understand that taking pictures inside the mall is against some unspoken rule in the mall, but that will be okay with me, as long as I get a shot of myself outside, which I am told looks very much the same. I will be taking this trip with one of my sisters who is also a big fan of the film. We thought it only proper to share the experience with someone who would truly enjoy it instead of going with people who wouldn't care.

Uh, it's almost time for Big Brother 6 and it's getting really good, I mean that Eric guy looked like he was going to kill somebody on Saturday's episode, I hope he gets voted out........

Oh, and the "Rent" trailer if available for viewing...Yeah!!!

The Red Planet is about to be spectacular!

2005-07-19T21:41:00.000-04:00

This was in my e-mail, I thought it was interesting information:

The Red Planet is about to be spectacular! This month and next,
Earth is catching up with Mars in an encounter that will culminate in
the closest approach between the two planets in recorded history. The next
time Mars may come this close is in 2287. Due to the way Jupiter's
gravity tugs on Mars and perturbs its orbit, astronomers can only be
certain that Mars has not come this close to Earth in the Last 5,000
years.

The encounter will culminate on August 27th when Mars comes to
within 34,649,589 miles of Earth and will be (next to the moon) the
brightest object in the night sky. It will attain a magnitude of -2.9
and will appear 25.11 arc seconds wide. At a modest 75-power
magnification.

Mars will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye. Mars
will be easy to spot. At the beginning of August it will rise in the
east at 10p.m. and reach its azimuth at about 3 a.m.

By the end of August when the two planets are closest, Mars will
rise at nightfall and reach its highest point in the sky at 12:30a.m.
That's pretty convenient to see something that no human being has seen
in recorded history. So, mark your calendar at the beginning of August
to see Mars grow progressively brighter and brighter throughout the
month.
Share this with your children and grandchildren. NO ONE ALIVE
TODAY WILL EVER SEE THIS AGAIN!!!

Be looking.

Should have gone to the Zoo on Saturday.

2005-07-18T23:33:00.000-04:00

I had the opportunity to go to the Indianapolis Zoo on Saturday, but I did not go, I kind of slept in and by the time I got up I had time to get there, but not to dress in outside clothes. I'm not one to go to the zoo in my sleep wear.

Apparently my younger sister made a comment about not liking emu's. I can see why, I've never liked them much myself, but that doesn't mean I'm happy to hear that Sunday morning a pack of wild dogs, not the wild dogs from the zoo mind you, but wild dogs from off the street, including two black swans, three magpie geese and three emus. Emus are flightless, and zoo officials said the others had had their wings clipped so they could not fly. Police arrived and used shotguns to kill four -- three male Labrador-chow mixes and a female terrier mix -- after efforts to corral them failed. An adult male pit bull was captured with a wire noose, and a sixth dog had not yet been captured late Sunday.

Uh, the owners should they come forward face a hefty fine, but if they were my dogs, boy would my face be red.

Anyway, poor birdies.

Shark Week and Mythbusters

2005-07-18T08:36:00.000-04:00

Ahh, it's like Christmas and my birthday and Halloween all rolled up into one! Two of my favorite things combined. I will write more on this later, after I see more....

Handstands & the President

2005-07-15T07:27:00.000-04:00

Thursday started out normal. I knew the President was coming, but not about the 900 people who were going to stand on their heads on the circle. Yeah, 900 people only it wasn't 900, it was 1072 people. They are hoping to set a world record and get into the Guinness Book of World Records. They weren't just from Indianapolis, they were from all over the country.

When someone said I wouldn't be able to drive around downtown yesterday, I couldn't figure out why. I was like that is so weird that the President is coming and by some strange coincidence they are closing the streets. Then I realized, duh, they are closing these streets because of the President. Why did he come here of all places? Well I should think it would be obvious, he was a speaker at the Black Expo luncheon yesterday. Because he would be the first person I would think of to speak at such an event. NOT!

Traffic

2005-07-14T07:40:00.000-04:00

How many times did I nearly die yesterday?
I'd say about as many as any other day. I actually count how many some days. You know, the cars that pull out that shouldn't have that you nearly hit because they were too impatient to wait 2 seconds. Or the cars that want to be in your lane only to turn immediately after cutting you off. I hate people sometimes. They are in too much of a hurry to get places sometimes and I'd rather get somewhere than sit in my car behind some dude going too slow too but people cutting in on top of that really brings out my road rage. So much that I have to get in the next lane and speed up to get around them giving them a good fist shaking on the way. Or sometimes I give them the glare.
The other thing I've noticed lately is the bicycle riders who don't seem to know that there are laws they should be abiding by too. The traffic laws are not just limited to cars. Bicycles are included. And yet they think they can cross when they want when I'm coming down the street towards them when I have the light? Hah! Or ride against traffic, or on the side walk? The sidewalk thing is because I was walking downtown the other day and had to move because of a bicycle nearly running me down.

So anyway, I probably nearly died in 5 firey car crashes yesterday and mowed down about 10 bicyclers.

It Should Happen To You

2005-07-11T07:21:00.000-04:00

I watched It Should Happen to You this weekend. It starred Judy Holiday and Jack Lemon. It is about a woman who loses her modeling job and meets a filmmaker in Central Park, Jack Lemon only in the movie his name is Pete. She's always wanted to be somebody so she scrapes together enough money to buy a place on an advertising billboard. Of course a real ad agency wants the spot and they wind up giving her more 10 billboards for the one.
It struck me how relevant the movie is still today. You still have people who just want to be famous, just want to be popular. In this movie people who had seen the billboards new her name and that's all it took. They didn't know who she was, what she did, why she was famous, they just knew her name. So they all flocked around her to get her autograph.
It really is a great movie, it's funny and sweet, a true classic.

Just thought I'd share.

Hypothetical

2005-07-06T12:43:00.000-04:00

I'm not going to answer my own question here until I get some answers and this isn't about me....

But say you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, whatever fits whoever you are, you've been dating for a while and then they accuse you of cheating on them, but you haven't given them any reason to think so, far from it, what do you do?

Independance Day

2005-07-05T12:30:00.000-04:00

What did I do for the long weekend? Well, I could give you the whole boring run down. But mostly I spent the entire weekend at my boyfriend's house because I didn't have to work at all all weekend! Yeah! So Friday night we had crab legs which for some bizarre reason did not send his cats into hysterics. Saturday we did some driving around, a little walking, ran some errands...And then just basically chilled out. Sunday we just hung around the house and he had taped the mini-series that is still on-going on TNT "Into The West" so we watched the first 3 episodes that have aired. Why not watch something about where this country came from. Yesterday we watched some of the Twilight Zone marathon on Sci-Fi. What fun was that? Then of course we went to Noblesville High School. This is we wanted to see Jennie Devoe play. Jennie Devoe is a local artist whom I've been a fan of ever since I first saw her at Lilith Fair. Go here to learn about her Jennie Devoe. She was totally awesome, as always. I was very happy to hear she is releasing her first album to be available nationwide. This would be her 4th album, the third being live performances. She could have been big a while ago but she's about the music, not the money. Anyway, after her performance was the fireworks which were also awesome. I had a great time. Feel free to share your July 4th experiences, or not...

20 BELOW

2005-06-30T13:07:00.000-04:00

We just got a newsletter from the building managers of my building saying starting in August there will be no smoking in this building. Until this was a smoking building. I'm happy because somebody down the hall smokes some really rank cigarettes that make me ill when I smell the smoke.

I was just thinking about this heat....I heard a radio DJ this morning say as bad as it is outside isn't it still better than 20 below zero? To which I think to myself, lets be honest here, I was in my car so I said out loud as if I was having a conversation with my radio, no I'd rather 20 below zero for the simple fact that at 20 below, I can put layer after layer of clothing on until I am warm....but if it's scorching hot, humidity high, generally miserable.....there are only so many articles of clothing I can take off in public before I get arrested...Personally I would rather live somewhere where it is always in the 50 to 75 degree range....that would be glorious.

20 below makes me think of smokers for some reason....I'm thinking, ok, it's 20 below, snowing, wind blowing like crazy, but you can't smoke inside pretty near anywhere anymore except at home, but here you have a habit that forces you to bundle up and stand in a blizzard for a fix....just doesn't sound too fun.....

OG

2005-06-27T07:48:00.000-04:00

I finally saw the movie Andrew LLoyd Webber's Phantom of the Opera. I have to admit that I wasn't looking forward to this film, what with Joel Schumacher involved. Especially with his ruining of the whole BATMAN movie franchise. Thank God they made him STOP!!! I was pleasantly suprised to find that it wasn't bad. I actually liked it. I thought that Gerard Butler did a fantastic job as the Phantom in his non-Michael Crawfordness. However I thought it was hilarious that Emmy Rossum didn't pronouce Raoul's name properly although otherwise her performance was great. My sisters and I think however that the part of Raoul could have been played by someone more attractive, we liked the Phantom better and were rooting for him. Even though we knew the story and that Christine could never end up with the Phantom, his actions were selfishly motivated. The best thing he did for her was let her go. That was his ultimate act of selflessness.

I love musicals (I know, I like a lot of weird stuff don't I?) I'm glad that they are making a comeback now. Maybe they'll make PIPPIN. Over my dead body!! (As if I have a say in the matter)

LAND OF THE DEAD

2005-06-22T07:39:00.000-04:00

Yesterday afternoon my boyfriend called me and said he had a suprise. It was passes to a sneak preview to the new George A. Romero Zombie movie, LAND OF THE DEAD. Of course like everyone else I've been waiting since DAY OF THE DEAD for Mr. Romero to make another zombie flick so naturally I drove like a bat out of hell to get there in time. To my utter horror, the theater was not packed? What's that all about? This film did not disappoint me in the least. It contained the classic Romero Zombies and incorporated the idea that he had built into everyone of his previous ventures into the zombie world, that the zombies can learn. Now, I don't want to give away anything, so I'm gonna stop there. I don't know how the public will receive this film because they seem to like the zombies running in the recent zombie movies it is following. Anyway, go see it when you can. It is great.

At an end?

2005-06-14T18:22:00.000-04:00

I promised myself that I would not post on the subject of Mr. Michael Jackson until the trial was through. Now it is so here goes.

First I must begin with, he was found "NOT GUILTY" on the ten counts against him. This does not however mean that he is innocent, it just means the evidence was not sufficient to find him guilty. There is no such verdict of Innocent in our court systemm, just guilty and not guilty. This does not mean he didn't do it.

I could speak on whether or not he did it, honestly I don't know, I have my theories though. Michael Jackson had a less than happy childhood (cue the violins), but I don't know anyone who would say their childhood was completly Ideal. So he decided to build a wonderful place for children to come and have a good time and be children. Sounds like a good plan so far. Then there were the sleepovers, where children, little boys, slept in Michael Jackson's bed, we know this, he told us this himself. He sees nothing wrong with this, it's just love he says.

"The Michael Jackson is a big fat liar theory." - Flashback to Michael Jackson as a sixteen year old boy, lying and saying he's younger, he'd be cuter if he was younger. He wasn't comfortable with the lie, and they told him it's ok to lie to protect his image. Ask him the question, did you molest any children? He'd lie right? He lied after that. They say his high pitched whiny voice isn't really his voice. He's also proven his deceitfulness with his dealings with his "friend" Paul McCartney. Paul McCartney confided in his supposed friend that he and his pals and Yoko got the money together finally to buy back the Beatles songs. These songs meant alot to Paul, a labor of love you might say, so Jackson goes behind his back and outbids Paul and his buddies. How sneaky, coniving and underhanded. He said it's just business. But I just call it low. I wouldn't do it that a friend no matter how much money it would make me. I guess if Michael loved any of his music as much as Paul did, he'd understand. The Beatles had great ideals delivered in a great music style, Michael Jackson has just had fun songs, but never the magnitude of the Beatles.

My other theory is that Michael Jackson does molest children but he doesn't call it that because he sees it as acts between to consenting people. Albeit that one was plied with alcohol at the time, but he said yes, he was drunkish. So this theory involves Michael Jackson being so crazy from his bad childhood that he doesn't know what he is doing. But if this is so, the dealings with Paul McCartney sound less and less like Michael Jackson's doing. I personally like "The Michael Jackson is a big fat liar theory" better.

Lastly "The Michael Jackson is a fine upstanding humanitarian who loves children and wouldn't hurt a fly and is horribly naive theory."- Well I think the name of the theory pretty much says it all except that the Mom of the accuser is a big fat money grubbing hoe. She said she isn't after the money, she can prove this by not filing a civil suit against Michael Jackson. Whether she does or not will tell us. People usually just file those because they want money, justice has nothing to do with it.

Well sound off and let us be done with it.

Signs

2005-06-13T07:51:00.000-04:00

"joe said...
Would you please post something about all the different signs you see while driving down the road? Not just traffic signs...but storefront signs as well. I would find that utterly fascinating."

Signs, ehh? Well I do do requests.........I will have to think on this, while I drive to work this morning...

People in general rely greatly on signs. Be it signs to tell us when to stop, how fast to go, to whether or not we can smoke in any given area.

In order to get to one's destination, one has to know the building number and the street name to which they are going. If not all is lost. Or, if one is going to a business, one must know the name which should appear on the sign above the door. Like, TARGET, or SEARS, or insert the name of any destination you can think of.

Some signs can be completely ridiculous, like the signs on the back of my stove that say, DO NOT STAND ON OVEN DOOR AS STOVE WILL FALL OVER AND CRUSH YOU! I mean, someone had to have done that for that sign to be there, so there are warning signs as well as signs to help people to get to locations. I personally like the sign watch for ice on bridge, I assure you that every time I go over where this sign is, I watch for ice, spring, summer, fall, or winter, The sign says watch for ice, so I watch for it. Another sign I enjoy is watch out for falling rocks. Enough said on that one I think.

There are helpful signs in places like parks and museums. I was at a park once and didn't know what I was looking at until I saw the sign that told me it was a waterfall, how beautiful it was and overjoyed I was to know I was looking at a waterfall. Other signs in such places will tell us of thing that certain items in a museum for instance were used in the past, their age, where they used, sometimes even exactly who they belonged to. In the case of a park, some signs will tell us of certain events that may have or did occur on the site, such as Gettysburgh. I went there once, it's hard to believe that such a tranquil feild once held such a bloody horrifying battle long ago. Really not so long ago though, was it? I wouldn't have known it was Gettysburg without the sign.

In conclusion, signs are very important, they help us get to where we are going, warn us when we are in danger and alert us to when there is something pretty to see. Think about that next time you read a sign or you are annoyed the sign was there, just how important that signs are to us, without them, we wouldn't know where were going or where we had been.

taking life back

2005-06-06T18:18:00.000-04:00

Ok, so step one:

Cancel utilities.

-This morning I did something very empowering, I cancelled my phone line. Now, I did this one, because 90% of the calls I get are from bill collectors and not for me. They are my sister's creditors, or her uber retarded boyfriend's (stress on boy) extra-uber retarded family.
Every now and then my Mommy will call or one of my sister's but not so often does that happen we aren't very phone centered.

-The other reason I did this is, I have been having trouble making my bills having the el retardo family not paying me much of anything. Not long ago my sister's boyfriend, I shall call him, Mr. Retardo, was in jail, for not paying child support, again. So of course while he was in jail, he had to talk to my sister every day. Couldn't go a single day without talking to her. The agreement was that they at least pay the collect charges on the phone, or else the phone line would be disconnected. I don't think they believed me. They paid the first one, then this months bill came, first one was $63 which somehow she paid, this one was $57, (amount is collect charges alone). First she says, I thought I paid you for those, so I had to explain to the simpleton that the phone bill runs from the 15th to the 15th, and he was still making calls for a week after the bill was paid. So finally when the bill for the second set of charges were coming due, She gives me $30!!!!!
So I say that the collect charges are for $57 and she says that she needs money for gas and some other stuff. I make some disappointed sound, and she says, and I quote "I can't give you my whole check!" So I say, good one, I was wondering what I would tell the phone company when I can't pay the bill, I think I'll tell all the utilities that. And she stormed off and she hasn't talked to me since and that was Friday afternoon.

-There are other examples of them charging things to my phone bill but That would make this post really lengthy. Lets just say, Mr. Retardo signed up for some service on the internet that answers the phone while you are on line which is totally retarded because I have cable internet! DUHHH!

Any way, I was at the end of my tether. I needed to take back some control. Not that I'm controlling (anymore?) I just want to live and let live, Silly me I think people should pay for what they use and not use what they can't pay for. I've been threatening to shut stuff off for a long time so now maybe they will believe that I will. After all everything is in my name. She couldn't give me anymore money because she was just looking out for her, That's all I'm doing, only I'm looking out for me.

Dolphins

2005-05-31T18:26:00.000-04:00

I did go to the zoo yesterday. I was sure that I wouldn't go because it was opening weekend for the new dolphin exhibit. I went anyway, with the family. It was pretty cool, and since everyone wanted to see the dolphin show all the other exhibits wer pretty easy to view. Some of them are pretty big draws and people will just stand there right in the way, but we moved through with ease. The dome itself was pretty packed but we walked through it and it was pretty nifty. I would say, if you come to Indy, check out the Zoo. It's really a lot better than it used to be.

Looks like my girl Ms. Patrick couldn't pull out a win in the Indy 500 on Sunday. Not to worry, she came in really close. She was a rookie, and though rookies have won in the past it would have been awesome if she had won because, she'd be the first woman to win, and the first woman rookie to win, EVER. Oh well, she'll be back and next time she'll have more experience. She has proven her awesomeness.

I never made it to the cemetary yesterday. It's just as well. I wanted a little more time, I'm going for certain this weekend. I'd go now but it closes at 6pm.

Cemetary

2005-05-30T15:38:00.000-04:00

I'm trying to decide if I want to go to the cemetary today. I hate going by myself, but I'm all alone here, tammy has to work, and all that. My parents go together. I think anyway. It's just this thing I do, and I really put it off at Christmas, I'm such a shit. But why you might ask would this be a deal? Well, my sister's birthday is this week. There are 8 of us in all, but one didn;t make it past 5 as I'm sure I've mentioned before. We happen to come up to her birthday this week. I have to work all day tomorrow or I would go. She'd be turning 17. My how time flies. I try not to think about it too much. I can't exactly recount all the details just out of the blue, but here is what I wrote after she died, the first "poem" I wrote about the event:

Happy Father's Day
Early in the morning
I have yet to rise
I hear car doors open and close
There are voices outside
People walking very fast
Judith comes running into her room
She climbs into her bed
Proceeds to cry.
I ask her what is wrong
She says I will find out when I get up
I am very confused
I decide to get up
I open the door to the hallway
It sits next to the front door
The front door opens and people enter
Firemen carrying a stretcher
They carry it onto the patio
I watch and see what Judith is crying about
Our sister's lifless body as they try to revive her
Her limp body being lifted onto the stretcher
They carry her away
Happy Father's Day.

It is Father's Day
They are taking her body away in an ambulence
My mother goes along
Dad is staying with us
He tells us as we rise
Where were we when she took her fatal swim
The extra sellp was not worth it
It is too late to worry about that
We all sit and wait
A policeman takes a statement from Dad
They look at all the conditions
They look to place blame
It is not our fault she could unlock doors
It is not our fault she rose early(or was it?)
The phone soon rings
I pick it up
Mom says, "She's gone"
Dad picks up the other phone
As if he hopes there is still a chance
He needs to hear again because he can't believe
Realization sets in
He sobs
It is the most awful sound I have ever heard.

I call some friends
They do not believe me until they see the news
How can I joke about that
The funeral is Tuesday night
We have to go see the body first
Privately we say good-bye
She looks like a doll
She feels like a doll
A beautiful doll in a liitle white box
I can't believe they make them that small
All I can do now is wonder why
Even my brothers cry
Father Michael comes to pray with us
He brought holy water and sprinkles her
He gives her her final shower
Together we are a family
It seems for the very last time because she's not alive
We are at the funeral now
The church is packed
There is not a dry eye in the church
Everyone keeps telling me that everything will be alright
How can they know
They are all stupid
They just want to make me smile
Don't they know she was the only light in my life?
It has not been a Happy Father's Day
Jessica-1993

Ok, so there it is. And I'm crying now. Because no matter how many days you can go and be fine, when you really stop to think about it, she's really gone and always will be and it's not ok but you can get through. I can.

That's all for now.

MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND

2005-05-28T10:50:00.000-04:00

I missed putting up my CARB DAY post. WHOOPS!
Ok, so yesterday was Carb Day, and that has nothing to do with ATKINS. Unless you are talking about the excess amount of carbs in all of the beer and other alcoholic beverages consumed at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway yesterday.
Anyway this is what I'm talking about when I say the craziness of race month.
Target is doing this stunt with a race car. On the side of one of the buildings downtown they have placed a race car. Yes, dangling from the top of the building on the west side of the building on the northeast corner of Pennsylvania and Ohio, is an actual race car. 3 times a day 3 stuntmen run down the building to the car, one climbs in the car while the other two do a pretend pitt stop on the car. Then the 2 outside of the car run the rest of the way down the building and the 3rd gets out of the car and does the same. It's true, I went out at lunch and saw it Thursday. It's so crazy!
Meanwhile preparations for the Parade were going on all around, curbs being painted, bleachers being assembled on the sidewalks. All the while a Memorial Day Ceremony was going on on Monument Circle keeping the cars out yesterday. Which is great people love to have lunch on the Circle but the cars are a nuisance. (I've never understood why anyone would want to drive around it. One time a friend of mine and I were downtown to see the Christmas lights and got stuck in the middle of the Circle because some people have nothing better to do on a Saturday night than drive around the Circle over and over again, this is an actual past time. We watched them for quite some time, seeing the same people drive around and around. Luckily she used to drive a horse and carriage downtown, so she knew one of the drivers that used her carriage to help us cross the street blocking traffic. Those things have the right of way, who would try and run over a horse? Monsters!) Anyway, all the activity brought many more people to Qudoba than usual so our plan to have lunch there was tharted, so we went to Panda Express who oddly didn't have many customers at all and it was noon awesome, probably people were off yesterday and the people on the circle didn't know it was there. It was cool to see all the dudes in their uniforms on the Circle though. And the jets flying over head, so you can't hear yourself think. Weird.

Anyway, I'm staying away from downtown like I said though. Even though I got my car back from Goodyear yesterday and do have a car for the weekend. Yeah! I have a complaint on that front but I'll save that for another time, maybe later.

LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT AND OTHER STUFF

2005-05-25T15:08:00.000-04:00

-So, I watched "Last House on the Left." This movie has been on my to watch someday list for quite some time but I've just never bothered until now. So I obtained a copy and sat down to watch it with my older sister. All we can say is, "GAH?"
It seems to be a highly confused movie. It don't know if it is a horror movie or a comedy. The music tends to say that it is a comedy, but the things that happen aren't funny. It's almost as though Wes Craven is making light of a terrifying situation that could actually happen. I knew what the movie was about when I got it. I hadn't actually seen it before though. By far it is not Wes Craven's best work.

-One of my little sister's graduated from high school on Sunday, HOORAY for her.

- Race month is in full swing. Preparations for the 500 Festival Parade are in full swing. They are currently assembling the bleachers on the sidewalks for those who wish to pay for seats. Needless to say downtown is not where I will be this weekend because of the parade it will be insane, I hate crowds.

-The other thing to create more mayhem downtown this weekend is that The Indianapolis Zoo is re-opening the dolphin pavilion. They re-built the exhibit adding an underwater dolphin dome and the Marsh Dolphin Theater. If you are curious you can view pictures and read about it here: (just cut and paste, try it, you'll like it)

http://www.indyzoo.com/content.aspx?cid=743

This exhibit opens Saturday, the parade is Saturday, and the Zoo is just on the west end of downtown. So crazy amount of people downtown this weekend, I will be planning on staying away.

I guess that's enough stuff for now.