What, me worry?

Sunday, March 27, 2005

The Great Alligator

We went to the video store outlet store where you can buy 2 movies and get four free. I got some pretty good ones as well as a few really, really bad ones. Which, of course is bound to happen when you pick movies just because they are called, "The Great Alligator" or "Hallows End." Or if you buy them because they have Paris Hilton in them like "9 lives." However the way I look at it. Those were among the freebies. I would hate to think that I payed $3.99 for any one of them. (Or even just a penny.)
Ok, I did get some good movies, in my opinion anyway. I picked up "Space Camp," "L.A. Story,"
"And God Spoke," "Splitting Heirs," "Clockwatchers," and "Party Girl" just to name a few.
Now, I went with my sisters, always a bad idea. They always get me to buy more. Or I get them to buy more. I sometimes let them pick out some movies, since we will watch some of them together at some point.

One sister picked out "Hallows End." Just seeing the title on the screen in front of me wants me to get the video out and stomp on it. I mean come on this movie is so disappointing because really the camera work is pretty good, the lighting isn't bad, now if they had some good actors they may have been able to carry it off if it wasn't for that shitty script. It is really your typical B-movie. You have a bunch of pretty people on Halloween in an old warehouse, you have your evil book of spells, a character named Pumpkin Jack, and of course everything goes horribly wrong. That is pretty much the whole movie. I don't want to say anymore about it because I would rather pretend I never saw it.

The only things I want to say about "9 Lives" is that it is always fun to see an heiress buy the farm and. I thought that the actors accents were fake until I watched the extras where the cast talked about their characters in the movie. So shocking that a real accent can sound so fake when the acting is so bad.

This of course brings us to "The Great Alligator" which I saved for last for a very good reason.
I am a big fan of giant monster movies. I went to see "Lake Placid" two nights in a row, and when I finally got the video I practically wore it out. I watch "Alligator" every time I see it on tellivision on the Sci-Fi channel mostly, and if there is a giant snake movie on, I won't change the channel. I love "JAWS." This movie however was an assault on my love for giant monster movies. I had to force myself to watch it. There weren't enough death scenes for me. The funniest line for me was when a guy said something like, We are safe on land, like alligators can't walk on land or something. It's about this resort cut off from the rest of the world buy rivers and they rely on natives to help them run the place. The natives start getting killed buy this giant alligator. They live in crocodile infested waters some place in Asia, but somehow this Alligator is there. The Crocodiles do nothing? What? Wouldn't there be a fight here, I mean both being aggressive animals? And what about the hippos, they would also get in on the mix. I think I will never watch it again.
Frankly I would rather watch football.

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