What, me worry?

Thursday, October 12, 2006

More Movie Reviews

My sister and I decided last night instead of going to the $.50 theater to see a movie last night we would rent a movie instead. We went to Blockbuster and I had to talk my sister out of "Dead Men Walking." Why? I've seen it of course and know her and know she'd get pissed if I'd let her rent it knowing what it's like. The reason I know this is all the times I'd let her borrow movies from me knowing they weren't good. They were entertaining but not good. The last one I lent her was "The Fanglys." She hated it.

I on the other hand was highly entertained with "The Fanglys." It was low budget. This does not make a movie bad. When you have a low budget you most often have to scrap the bottom of the acting barrel, or hire your friends to be in it. Which would most likely be a fair description of these actors. The acting in fact was one of the biggest things to drag it down. The premise was simple. It was Halloween night. A group of young adults, mid-twenties living in a small town have decided to hang out around the old cemetary. There of course is a legend of an old witch that haunts the area called the Fanglady. They wanted to see if it was true, the most of them didn't believe. The group was comprised of friends Mark, Kelly, Jerry, Steven, and Camille who was just some random girl that Steven picked up. They go out into the woods by the cemetary, Jerry gets scared and whines. There was a whole conversation between Mark and Kelly where she said that Jerry had better not get scared and whine while they were out there so the whining was no suprise. He said he wouldn't so of course he did. Then of course weird stuff starts happening. They get annoyed by Chubb, who is one of the silliest crazy violent canibal people ever! (He's also the writer and director. He really seemed to be having a good time playing Chubb. Chubb was actually my favorite part.) Also annoying them was the Fanglady who appeared to be somewhat supernatural. Of course also there were some scenes of some locals, a Sheriff and a good old boy who covered up some deaths caused by the Fanglady and had been covering them up for years. This part was pointless and stupid as it went nowhere. Take my word for it, it's entertaining, but not great. It's not really all that fresh and brings really nothing new to the crazy people in the wilderness gore fest movie genre.

Now, "Dead Men Walking" is just another Zombie movie my boyfriend rented from the Hollywood Video near his house. They always had way more horror movies to rent than a lot of other rental places because the manager really liked them, I don't know, but when I went in there they always had a ton of stuff I never saw at Blockbuster. (It's so unfortunate this particular Hollywood Video closed.) He rented it because I like Zombie movies. It's about these people get some weird disease, die and rise from the dead and this guy is forced to kill his friends before they kill him. Of course the authorities were not understanding of this and he gets sent to jail. Why do the cops never believe people when they say they didn't kill their friends, they killed zombies?!? Of course he's contracted the disease. It spreads throughout the prison and there are some really disgusting puking and out of guts in the mess hall right into their plates and since they are so sick they don't notice and continue to eat and I've sworn never to watch this scene again. It was similar to a scene in "Day of the Dead 2:Contagium." Anyway there is a riot in the prison and all the living people are trying to escape the madness alive. There some lines I thought were good when I was watching but I can't remember them now. I just know the warden said them.

At Blockbuster last night we rented "The Hills Have Eyes." It was the remake. I've never seen the origional. But that is going to be my next post because as I look at the time, I have to get going. Until next time.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

It's October!!!

Ok, so it's October. This means Halloween is right around the corner. So I'm gonna post some movie reviews of scary movies for that purpose. For those that don't know, Halloween is my favorite holiday, I love to be scared, it's just hard to scare me.

My first review will be for a little film called "THE SCORNED." I guess in this movie's case, it's not really scary. It's not even good really. I watch the bad ones so no one else has to. That's not exactly true, I watch the bad ones and then I pass them around to everyone so we can talk about how bad they are. There are excepthions, I didn't make everyone watch "Zombie Honeymoon." No one should be subjected to that poop! So now I guess I'll talk about "The Scorned."

So once upon a time a couple reality "stars" got together because they wanted to make a scary movie starring only reality stars. Interesting choice not using real actors, I myself probably would have chosen real actors, but it's not my movie, this wouldn't have helped the film though. So they had a concept, had a script then there was a reality show called "KILL REALITY." I being a big reality tv watcher did watch it. It chronicled the making of "The Scorned." They had the cast all living in the same house, all reality stars. It was entertaining for me because I so missed the antics of Toni Ferrari, or as I like to call her the biggest attention whore of reality tv. I mean come on lady, LOVE CRUISE, PARADISE HOTEL, KILL REALITY, what a whore. Johnny Fairplay however got too much airtime if you ask me, he's always turned my stomach.

Now for the actual movie. It starts out with this couple both aspiring actors then there is a tragic accident at their beach house and they moved out. Then these four young adults rent the house and weird stuff starts to happen. Johnny Fairplay, who was the character TQ in the movie, throws a party on the beach. His girlfriend is not in attendance so he finds another girl to sleep with. After which the crazy drunken girl, played by Miss Topless for Peanut Butter herself Jenna Morasca, is swallowed up into the ground. Also at the party inside the house our Heroine, played by Miss We're So Lucky to Be Here 2000 Jenna Lewis, sees apparition, and her ex-boyfriend as we learn, also sees an apparition. The apparition is no better than early CG aparitions in the movies. Nothing to write home about.

The next day, they walk over to their landlord's house to pay their rent. They ask him if anything strange ever happened in the house he tells them his tragic story, at which time we are treated to a flashback. The back story isn't terrible, it's just not fresh, it's common. The acting, like much of the acting in the movie, is terrible. He was engaged to his girlfriend, Raina, her best friend from high school, Nichola, came to live with them. He was trying to get his career going, she was a shooting star. Of course they go for the big cliche, he slept with her best friend, she found out and then we get to see one of the most ridiculous fight scenes in a film since the 20 minute fist fight in "They Live" (by the way whenever this movie is on I am somehow always bizarrly drawn to this scene, it's one of those things where you know you should look away, but you can't.) She walks in on them, flees in anguish, they follow her, for some bizzare reason he attacks her and she fights back, he bashes her over the head, hits her. The only person who seemed concerned for her was her friend, he just seemed to be trying to kill her and her friend looked like she was trying to stop him. The fight ends with him slashing her throat with a fireplace poker and her falling in the hot tub and him and her friend watching her float there. The thing that bothered was that if he loved her, why was he so angry, shouldn't he be trying to make amends here? We find out she is not dead, she's in a coma. There is a crazy guy that hangs out by there house that tells them that the spirit of Raina is angry and wants revenge. So the spirit of this woman in a coma goes on an angry killing spree, killing people who are unfaithful, all the cheaters.. Sounds like "The Grudge" to me, only the spirit is alive not dead. I mean the spirit trying to exact revenge thing, the scorned woman. The other point that bothered me is that one of the characters was suspicious that his girlfriend might be cheating on him and accused her of this a couple thousand times in the movie. He was a personal trainer in the movie and had one client in particular that wanted to sleep with him and she was willing to pay dearly for him. He said he would never cheat and would be heartbroken if his girlfriend did but in the end the almighty dollar won out. He cheated on his girlfriend in order to get the money so he could afford to buy nice things for his girlfriend. Then he cried about it. What a baby. It just seemed kind of stupid. Not to mention he and his girlfriend had no chemistry. They just looked like to people that I didn't believe would ever be together in a million billion years just reading lines from a script, and they were! Imagine that.

All in all I enjoyed the movie but that's probably because I don't like Johnny Fairplay and liked to see him die. I'm so disappointed they didn't kill Erika Landin though. Most of the acting was bad, they aren't trained actors so I wasn't suprised. A couple performances stood out however. Toni Ferarri was actually pretty good. I was suprised. And Bachelor Bob was totally believable as a scummy dude who would sleep with his girlfriend and then try to kill her.

I wouldn't actually recommend this movie to anyone. Well unless you enjoy bad movies as much as I do.