What, me worry?

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

A Movie I just watched

I just watched "And God Spoke" for the first time in many years. I picked up the copy the same time I got that dumbass alligator movie that I'm still mad about. I guess I should just get over it.
Anyway it was just as enjoyable as the first time I saw it. If you don't know what it is or haven't seen it, I recommend it. It is a mockumentary. If you don't know what that is just look at the word and if you have a brain, you should be able to figure it out. A documentary only not because it's a mockumentary. Basically without giving anything away, it's about two guys who think they can make a hit movie based on the bible. Hilarity can only ensue. Anyway see it or not, you might not be able to find it. Maybe someone has it on ebay? It is on there you can probably get it for around $10.00. It also appears to be available at Best Buy. It was released on dvd in 2003 for people who think that vcr's are obsolete.
Well that is all.


I was deeply saddened to hear that someone defaced the Medal of Honor Memorial downtown on the canal. I have to explain what it is. It is a memorial to all the people that fought for this country in World War II. But they didn't just vandalize this, they also sprayed graffiti along an area of the canal that stretches from the National Collegiate Athletic Association offices to just east of the memorial.
The areas receiving the most damage included the memorial and the support columns and walls of the Indiana State Museum that face the canal. They've pretty much spat not only on this city but also this entire country. It is so incredibly disrespectful.
Just because they wanted to make a statement, they don't want the war they don't like the President, they don't like the Governer, and they want to "legalize ganja." Who doesn't want peace?
I'm all for freedom of speech. But vandalism is vandalism. They had every right to protest if they so chose, but they didn't do that. They ruined a nice place for people to go and reflect. That memorial had nothing to do with the war going on right now. Sure it can be fixed, at great cost $6,000 to $8,000 cost in materials alone. But that won't fix the disappointment that someone could do this. The people remembered there are mostly still living. It's distressfull for them that someone would dishoner them this way.
I hope the cost of this was worth it for these people. This is not how you go about bringing change.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

it may not always be so; and i say

it may not always be so;and i say
that if your lips,which i have loved,should touch
another's,and your dear strong fingers clutch
his heart,as mine in time not far away;
if on another's face your sweet hair lay
in such a silence as i know,or such
great writhing words as,uttering overmuch,
stand helplessly before the spirit at bay;

if this should be,i say if this should be-
you of my heart,send me a little word;
that i may go unto him,and take his hands,
saying,Accept all happiness from me.
Then shall i turn my face,and hear one bird
sing terribly afar in the lost lands.



I just have a couple of thoughts to put down before I have to leave for work.
I have a few minutes, I mean I could have tried to sleep in a few more minutes but what's the point.

One, I was thinking about "The Great Alligator" and how bad it was. That got me, of course, thinking of lots of great ideas for what could have happened. There was this show for a little while on AMC called "Film Fakers." It was a reality show where 3 real actors are tricked into thinking they are really making a movie. They have terrible scripts, actors pretending to be the rest of the cast and crew, and also to lend credibility to the production they often have a washed up star. Some such guests have been: Eric Estrada, Justin Guarini, and Rachel Hunter. It was a funny show. The point is one episode the fake film was called "Croc Park" Where these Crocodilian aliens come to earth in the woods somewhere and bite people and they turn into croc monsters. That seems like a plot worthy of being a Sci-Fi origional. But I love bad movies.

Two, I think I have figured out who ANONYMOUS is, and all I had to do is go to the blogs that I frequent and review the people who go to those blogs. Then I had to go to all of their blogs because I figured if they hate me so much, they must have posted it somewhere on their blog. This of course did not take to long because I don't spend that much time going to a lot of blogs, I only go to a few. So I found a post that was posted on another blog to a person whose blog I regularly go to. Which says something about me and another blogger, nothing mean. I of course didn't cause I never would did not post on this other blog, there was nothing there to interest me. So if anonymous is who I think they are, she's just mad because I ripped on her on another blog. Coming on here saying, don't get mad at me because I'm being mean but here I'm gonna be mean again, or you're mean so I'm gonna be mean. All because he asked us to stop being mean to each other on his blog, which I did, I left her alone. I guess she was really mad, and didn't want to tick him off, so she came here because she couldn't let it go.
But if you're gonna complain about someone posting stuff you don't like somewhere else and then come here and post stuff worse than that, you're no better than what you think I am. Don't come here and say it is in defense of someone who doesn't need defending. At least give us the courtesy of telling us the real reason. You're mad at me because I made fun of you. Grow up college girl.

Sunday, March 27, 2005

The Great Alligator

We went to the video store outlet store where you can buy 2 movies and get four free. I got some pretty good ones as well as a few really, really bad ones. Which, of course is bound to happen when you pick movies just because they are called, "The Great Alligator" or "Hallows End." Or if you buy them because they have Paris Hilton in them like "9 lives." However the way I look at it. Those were among the freebies. I would hate to think that I payed $3.99 for any one of them. (Or even just a penny.)
Ok, I did get some good movies, in my opinion anyway. I picked up "Space Camp," "L.A. Story,"
"And God Spoke," "Splitting Heirs," "Clockwatchers," and "Party Girl" just to name a few.
Now, I went with my sisters, always a bad idea. They always get me to buy more. Or I get them to buy more. I sometimes let them pick out some movies, since we will watch some of them together at some point.

One sister picked out "Hallows End." Just seeing the title on the screen in front of me wants me to get the video out and stomp on it. I mean come on this movie is so disappointing because really the camera work is pretty good, the lighting isn't bad, now if they had some good actors they may have been able to carry it off if it wasn't for that shitty script. It is really your typical B-movie. You have a bunch of pretty people on Halloween in an old warehouse, you have your evil book of spells, a character named Pumpkin Jack, and of course everything goes horribly wrong. That is pretty much the whole movie. I don't want to say anymore about it because I would rather pretend I never saw it.

The only things I want to say about "9 Lives" is that it is always fun to see an heiress buy the farm and. I thought that the actors accents were fake until I watched the extras where the cast talked about their characters in the movie. So shocking that a real accent can sound so fake when the acting is so bad.

This of course brings us to "The Great Alligator" which I saved for last for a very good reason.
I am a big fan of giant monster movies. I went to see "Lake Placid" two nights in a row, and when I finally got the video I practically wore it out. I watch "Alligator" every time I see it on tellivision on the Sci-Fi channel mostly, and if there is a giant snake movie on, I won't change the channel. I love "JAWS." This movie however was an assault on my love for giant monster movies. I had to force myself to watch it. There weren't enough death scenes for me. The funniest line for me was when a guy said something like, We are safe on land, like alligators can't walk on land or something. It's about this resort cut off from the rest of the world buy rivers and they rely on natives to help them run the place. The natives start getting killed buy this giant alligator. They live in crocodile infested waters some place in Asia, but somehow this Alligator is there. The Crocodiles do nothing? What? Wouldn't there be a fight here, I mean both being aggressive animals? And what about the hippos, they would also get in on the mix. I think I will never watch it again.
Frankly I would rather watch football.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Poor little girl

Poor little girl...
still afraid,
still running.
When will you get up out of that corner?
Poor little girl...
still crying,
still hiding,
When will you stand up for yourself?
Why not grow up?
Why not change?
Because you are still afraid?
Here is my hand...
poor little girl...
I'll help you find your way.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005


This anonymous dude is getting pretty irritating.
I don't know who this person is, being anonymous and all.
This person seems to think I went somewhere and was rude.
I have to apologize because, I have no clue to what they are referring.
I rarely comment on other peoples' blogs.
Anything I have posted on other blogs was not in anyway meant to be rude, spiteful or mean.
So if the only reason you are here is to be a big meany-pants.
Go right on ahead. I can't stop you. I believe people should have the right to be anonymous if they so choose. Even though I wouldn't use that option because I think it is cowardly. I think people should be straightforward and honest with how they feel. Why hold things in. It doesn't do any good.

As for my style of writing. From a technical standpoint I don't exactly write true poetry. I write what I write, how I want to write it. There are many different styles of writing out there. I don't know where mine fits. I have a thought, I write it down. It is a matter of opinion whether it is good or not.
But they are my feelings written down, and set free. Very personal to me. But keep coming back and trying to "bitch me out" those comments are very good laughs. You don't hurt my feelings anonymous, you can't. I find it especially funny when you mock my intelligence with incorrect grammar, so funny!

Anyway, more later.

Thursday, March 17, 2005


A little word about my previous post.
Don't get me wrong, I'm really just disappointed and saddened
that I don't see more people willing to do what needs to be done
to help rather than doing what would make them most comfortable.
It has not discouraged me from helping out, even at my own expense.
Not that I think I am better than them.
I can see, they are doing what is right for them, in their minds.
I need for me to not continue to try to change minds.
I can't make people be or think like me.
I can only live and let live.
And ignore them when they try to change me.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005


Cannot follow one.
Have to do what has to be done.
Move Heaven and Earth to help all.
It will come back to you.
Do everything in your power to raise people
from the wretchedness of their existence.
Even if you know they wouldn't do the same for you.
I guess this would be my agenda.
I just want to help people.
So far it has been at my expense.
Sometimes I have acted out because helping people
can be wearing.
Especially if you see someone else wouldn't ever
do the same.
I guess I need to stop worrying about it.
If they see nothing wrong with it,
It bothering me won't change anything.
I can see where helping could end up hurting.
Helping could hinder.
But helping could, HELP?
And isn't that all I have wanted.
I guess I still am looking for people who think like me.
The majority of people around me don't think like me.
Won't see my point of view, or can't.
Oh well. Nothing I can do.
No help for blind stubborness.


I was walking downtown yesterday from POINT A to POINT B and at one cross walk I was accosted by a man. This man said hello. Of course I was wary. I was a lone woman walking down the street, granted it was broad daylight, but that never stopped people from violence before. I regarded him with caution, I said a polite hello back to him. He replyed, that I didn't have to be afraid of him and that his name was Robert. It then occured to me that I may have hurt his feelings. See even though I treated him the same way I would have any man that would have said something to me at that point, but he didn't know that. I told him that I wasn't afraid of him, I had just had a long day that was not in fact even over yet by that point. He told me he had also had a rough day sitting in a office at the State House. I did not catch why he was stuck at the State House, I was off on my way. I waved goodbye as he walked off. That of course encouraged him. He asked me if I lived here, meaning in town, I of course replied, once again as I would to anyone, no I do not live on that particular street corner. He just said that I knew what he meant. I told him that I really had to go, because I really did. I had to finish work.
It just made me wonder, when a white man stops me on the street and I regard him the same way I did with this man, they aren't the least bit insulted. Not that a lot of white men accost me on the street in this manner. However, every time a black man does this, he gets insulted, automatically assuming that the reason I was cautious was that he was black, and I am white, when the real reason, pure and simple is, he was a man, and I was a woman and I have to protect myself. However, had he come up and tried to have a conversation at a coffee shop or a restaurant when I wasn't in a hurry to get somewhere, I may have reacted differently. Honestly, the fact that he was black never even crossed my mind at the beginning of the encounter.
I don't even know if I am allowed to talk about this being white. I hope this doesn't get me in trouble here.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

No Trespassing

I was discussing this with someone at work today.
It's a very important issue about the effectiveness of no tresspassing signs.
Oh, um....remember if you don't like the contents of this blog, stop reading at any time.
A lot of people have chosen to employ them at their homes.
Everytime I see one it makes me giggle.
Sometimes, you just get the urge to tresspass.....but when you see that sign you think, "Hmm I better tresspass next door, they don't have a sign."
All I'm saying is there are certain things in life that we just know......
You don't tresspass on someone else's property,
Look both ways before you cross the street,
And dogs can't look up........
So why do people need this sign? Does it help them sleep at night? One might think that if they have this sign up there must be something really good for them to go see, it might make people want to tresspass.
(remember, you don't have to read the entire post)
So really, I think that no tresspassing signs are just an excuse for illegal actions, why else be so seclusive?

Wednesday, March 09, 2005


Okay, I've looked it up and it seems, curling is a sport in which the players heave rocks into circles on the ground? Sounds somewhat like horseshoes, or something like that. And some people think that Monster Trucks are bad! www.usacurl.org/ I went here to learn about it. so if you are interested in curling, there are lots of informative web sites out there to tell you all about it.
Remember, always consult your physician before starting out in a new sport to make sure it is the sport for you.
So if your going to heave, heave responsibly.


She's flying so high
Crashing so hard
Up in the sky
Smashed by the car
Spinning around
Living in chaos
Hitting the ground
Then up and away off
Bought and sold
And bought again
Feeling old
Then what should have been.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

On break

Ok, it's my break and today I'm feeling much better, Yeah!
So, what do I know about monster truck shows?
Well, for those of you who don't know what a monster truck show is, that is sad. Because, It's great.
I wonder what the guys who thought up this concept were doing when it came into their heads. Probably some good ole boys sitting on the porch having a beer or two and looking out at their trucks, then at all the broken down cars in their driveways, and into their heads comes this fabulous idea: Why don't we put some humongus tires on our pickup trucks and then drive on top of our broken down cars? That's probably about right.
So now we can go down to a public arena, pay $15.00 to get in, and watch this fabulous display. But that is not all they do, they also have a fabulous display of pyrotechnics I'm told. It makes me very proud to be an American to have these fabulous events take place.
It's a great time, take your family and all of your friends!!!!

Monday, March 07, 2005


Well it's Monday evening so here I am.
It was just another day at my home.
I woke up with a splitting headache and I'm also a little stuffed up, so I went to work to do the essential things that needed to be done, and went home because there was no way I could last the day.(Sick hours are the best thing ever invented)
Unfortunatly, for some reason unknown to me, My sister's Boyfriend was home.
Although he has a job now, he still manages to be home whenever I don't feel well.
Now, my sister was here as well, she is on maternity leave so she's almost always home with the new baby.
He and I don't really get along on account of him posessing the total appearance of a loser, a boozer, and a user. I don't know if he currently is drinking everyday, but he looks like he does, and sounds like he does when he talks.
Our disputes usually happen in the middle of the night because he can't actually come to me like a human being and tell me something I did or said offended his delicate little feelings (honestly this guy has the shortest fuse of anyone I've ever known, even shorter than mine! I'm told mine's pretty short too, I guess that's true)
He chooses the more cowardly method of going to his room and complaining rather loudly, in what I would not consider a normal tone of voice, about how he didn't like something I did, and usually I don't know what that is, but he yells and bitches to my sister, and I'm just supposed to take it. I can hear him saying the most ridiculous things about me and I'm just gonna listen? That's not what I have done in the past, up 'til today.
I just have to give a little backround here, He has been up until the last couple weeks unemployed. I pay all of the utilities and they rarely contribute. Now I understand they are going through financial difficulties, I am too though. Their problems are not my problems, I don't feel that they should be.
If I'm having a bad day, I think I should be able to come home and say, I'm having a bad day, and I'm gonna try and stay out of your way, but he won't even let me do that, because he'll turn that around too, he'll twist anything I say until it doesn't sound like my words. And he'll say that I shouldn't be mad about him not paying anything because he washes dishes and mows the lawn. Well, when he was unemployed and home all day, he should be doing that, and besides, that's just what you do as an adult, you pay your own way and clean up after yourself. Cleaning up in no way makes up for money paid on utilities he used, still uses.
I lost my train of thought Football oh yeah! Anyway, I didn't say anything to him when I came in the house, I don't have to say anything to set him off, I just have to be there. I said nothing, I came in the house, Set down my briefcase and purse, saw he was sitting in the living room in my chair watching my tv, did I say the first thing that came into my head? Which was: "Gosh, I didn't think I left the t.v. on." Which then would have been followed by me turning off the t.v. No, I did not do this, nor did I sigh in disapproval or make any upset sound, I chose the other way, because I didn't feel well, because I didn't want to get into it. I set my stuff down and I went up to use the bathroom, cause I needed to. I wasn't gonna say anything. Shortly after 11:00 a.m. he started his normal bitching about me to my sister, like the coward that he seems to be. But this time, I did not go up and say anything, I just let him yell while I tried to rest. However he yelled all day, about this thing and that thing. He's trying to fix the truck they are using and he needs a part and has to order it from the maker of the truck, but apparently they didn't have his part, I heard him repeatedly ask of whoever was on the other end the exact same question, and from his reply it was obvious they answered the question. It's not like he asked one person and then was on hold and asked someone else, I heard the question, his reply, followed immediately by the question again.
Basically I think he's an ass and the sooner he is out of my life, the better.

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Pieces of April

I just watched "Pieces of April" It was ok. It was a thanksgiving movie.
It in no way replaces my all time favorite thanksgiving movie, "Home for the Holidays"
I don't see how any thanksgiving movie could. This movie, was watchable, mildly entertaining, but did not seem to leave much of an impression. However, I thought Katie Holmes was great in this film. Just thought I'd share.


I saw that night
the sky was black
there were no stars
I knew I was alone
even in the midst
of the crowd
I knew that night
in the pitch
I would always be on my own
So I let go of the
Cliff and let myself fall
I didn't matter if
I was lost in the abyss
It never had before
For there is always a cliff
from which to fall
And always such a long way
to go.

All She Ever Had

Was it weird that she thought it felt good to run that blade across her wrist?
It felt nice and calm to pass out after the blood had run out of her arm.
It felt as though she had some control over some facet of her life.
She controlled whether she lived or died.
Only she cared what happened.
One day she cared to live.
One day she cared to die.
Was it weird that it was so fun to drive so fast?
So fun to turn that fast.
So fun to flip the car over.
She made it do that.
No one hit her.
No one grabbed the wheel.
And when it flipped and rolled it was the wildest ride.
Was it weird that she always walked that close to the edge?
And that day when she jumped she felt the most free she ever had in her life.
The landing was exquisite.
Like nothing before.
Do it or not, always her choice.
Jump or not.
Live or die.
Of course she never did any of these things.
She never did anything.
But she knew she could.
Slash her wrist,
Flip her car,
Jump from a cliff,
It was all up to her and that is all she had.

Saturday, March 05, 2005

I can't not believe it.

I was appalled, yet not suprised when I was trying to escape the parking garage after work tonight. I was trying to turn to go down the ramp and the cars were supposed to merge. There was a jerkoff there who was, 1. talking on his cell phone (why is it only idiots try and talk on the phone and drive at the same time, not quite the same as walking and chewing gum at the same time I find, but I digress...) and 2. would not let me in. I would have let him in, I'm a giver!!! I gave him the glaringest glare ever, and a good shake of my fist, I assure you he felt that glare. I was then reminded why I don't really like going downtown on Saturday out. Inevitably I run into people, and this, is never good. The kind of people who hang out downtown on Saturday night where I live are the same people who don't know how to drive downtown, because the only time they come downtown is on Saturday night. Plus I hate crowds, I would much rather stay at home with a few friends then go out amongst a bunch of knuckleheads I don't know, and to expose myself to that much stress is not worth it to me. Maybe it's just me, I don't know.

Friday, March 04, 2005


Here is a little something I was playing around with.


Then the lights went out
Lost in the dark
A little girl cries sobs
She can't be found
Then someone lights a candle
And she finds her way out...


Finally it is friday!
Somebody told me all about this place, so here I am blogging with all the
rest of you bloggers.
I hope I'm doing this right.
Yeah, looks alright to me.